Adoption

We've been married for several years. A few years ago she realized that she could not cope with having her own biological children and wondered if we could look at adopting an older child as an alternative.(additional stressors stemmed from her childhood which she does not wish to repeat or have a child that she might despise)

This has not been easy for me since I always thought that I would have my own biological children someday. She has told me if I want to get a divorce over this she wouldn’t like it however she would be ok with it since she knows that she can’t give me a biological child. Since I don’t believe in divorce to solve the issue, should I just get over it and eventually move towards adopting a child?

2007-11-19 03:09:15 · 11 answers · asked by apcgurux316 1

my aunt and uncle adopted a baby from a single woman and they've had him since birth our whole family loves him we've had him for almost five months and hes such a joy. part of the adoption process is putting an ad in the paper asking if anyone objects the adoption. a man came forward saying hes the father, and that he wants a paternity test and to try for custody. can he really take the baby? please answer if you have information.

2007-11-18 15:20:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

First of all my hubby and I are foster parents. We adopted a baby boy last year that had been with us for 15 months. It's the best decision we have ever made! He is our angel & we love him SOOOO much!! We also have a foster baby who we got straight from the hospital, he is now 9 months old and his parents aren't doing what they should be to get him back. So it's looking like we may be able to adopt this child also. We are very attached to him & are the only parents he's ever known.
The baby's mother is Bi-polar, has addictive behaviors, & is known for being a violent person, his father is about the same.
The baby has had a TERRIBLE temper for as long as we can remember, and at 6 months he was throwing temper tantrums already!! When he gets mad he will scream like someone is killing him, & hold his breath!! My question is.......Who here believes nurturing a child since birth will overcome the nature of the child? Is a Baby's parsonality genetic or learned?

2007-11-17 13:22:41 · 22 answers · asked by QTpie 4

I was adopted in NY, and they seem to be really far behind when it comes to opening records, even though it is common opinion now that it is peoples right to know.

Is it because so many adoptions probably happen in NYC that the state doesn't want to deal with it?

2007-11-17 10:56:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am going to retire from teaching and will have the time and resources. If you have done this, can you share the best and worst from your experiences please. I am not interested in adoption, just helping children with needs. I realize there is training involved and that you do get a stipend to put toward food and clothing. I have read that most foster parents add to that amount. My real concerns revolve around safety, I guess, My own children are old enough this. Are you permitted to specify ages for the children you accept? What else should I be aware of? Thanks

2007-11-17 07:15:43 · 3 answers · asked by greenfrogs 7

Hi! Does anyone have any information on what the foster/adoption classes consist of? We have already finished our home evaluation and all we have left are the classes. We are actually doing this for 3 little boys who have been in the system for a year now. If the parents rights are ultimately terminated, we will adopt these boys. They are doing the classes in our home for 2 days next week in our home rather than spread out over 10 weeks. I imagine it will be roughly the same, so any information about how to prepare and what the classes will be about will be GREATLY appreciated! Thanks in advance!

2007-11-16 22:06:13 · 3 answers · asked by an88mikewife 5

My husband and I are considering adopting a child or siblings. I was reading thru several applications from different agencies and noticed that some ask for contact information of ex-wives/husbands. My husband is divorced and has 3 children from his prior marriage. He keeps in contact with them as much as he possibly can, pays his child support and supplies them with whatever they need and ask for, when he can. So I have no worries there. The thing I am conserned about is that his ex-wife and he are not on good terms and she has said some nasty things about him on myspace and god only knows to whom else. Knowing the truth it never bothered me, but now that we are trying to start a family of our own thru adoption, I am worried about what she might say if she were to be contacted by the agency. Nothing else will stop us from being licensed to become adoptive parents. I am very conserned that contacting her might stop our dream from becoming a reality.

2007-11-16 07:18:52 · 5 answers · asked by fukitol1215 1

2007-11-16 01:26:43 · 15 answers · asked by Vicki F 1

This email was about adoption of some dogs has anyone else received such an email. Very miss trusting of such emails. I have been searching for adoption for some dogs but though it would come from a shelter not a private person.

2007-11-16 00:48:51 · 5 answers · asked by Carmen T 1

So I have read from many people that support groups can be very rewarding to everyone involved with adoption. I do believe that this would be something that I would greatly benefit from. However, there are no such groups in my area. I am thinking about starting one, but I guess I feel unqualified. Weird, I know. Who better to talk about it than a person who is living it, but I have no idea where to start? What would we even talk about? Just share stories over tea and such. What do you all think?

2007-11-15 15:40:39 · 9 answers · asked by redpeach_mi 7

2007-11-15 11:00:05 · 17 answers · asked by Roxy 2

hi what do i have to do and what happens with my husband adopting my daughter?

he has been around for 2 and a half years, and my daughter calls him dad.

what do i do so he can adopt her properly?

dnt say get legal advice as i will do that later on once i know more

thanx

2007-11-15 10:09:38 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband was born and adopted in Colorado Springs. Can anyone tell me what the 1st step is that he would need to take in order to attempt to locate his birth parents? What does he have to do to get a hold of his adoption records? Do they have to be handed over to him if he requests them or does it depend on the circumstances?

2007-11-15 07:23:31 · 10 answers · asked by mel1026 3

I am currently searching for my bios. Everything I keep reading stresses the importance of attending adoption support groups. I think it's a great idea. Anyone have stories or experiences to share?

2007-11-15 07:04:17 · 5 answers · asked by redpeach_mi 7

There are so many children here in the United States who need loving and caring homes. So why do so many people go to other countries to adopt child? I realize it brings a cultural impact to those around the child, but not only is it more costly, but that leaves so many children in orphanages and foster homes just longing for someone to love them too. I understand the desire to help someone, but why can't American's help those in their own country first?

2007-11-15 04:40:31 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband and I currently reside in TX and are looking to foster-to-adopt or adopt a child. Any personal experience you would like to share with us would be appreciated. If any of you know anything specific about being active duty military and wanting to adopt, any specifics on that would be great.
Thanks

2007-11-15 02:07:09 · 7 answers · asked by fukitol1215 1

I'm an adult adoptee, basically I had a positive adoption experience, won't go into details, but my parents were always open and honest, etc, gave me all info about my birthparents, etc.
Basically, so many other adoptees tell me that I'm 'repressing' negative feelings or anger, I've been told to read Primal Wound by just about every adoptee I've met, lol.
It just didn't strike a chord with me. Your experiences?

2007-11-15 01:08:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was adopted and just recently found my birthfather's family. He was killed in a car accident a year after my birth. No one knew about me in his family. I have now found out I have a half brother, but his mother took him away from the family as soon as my dad was killed and they were gone for 15 years. Now they say he has very little to do with the family and he took the last name of the man she married shortly after my dad passed away. I was raised an only child and would love the idea of having a brother, just not sure how it would go over. Any suggestions??

2007-11-14 14:18:29 · 8 answers · asked by Found_1999 1

I have a 6 yr old son that is a product of a rape. My husband has always considered him his, he knows he's not though. My son and older daughter has no idea. I have no way to contact the biological father, don't really care to. But my question is if and when is the time to tell my son, that the wonderful man that he thinks is his father, isn't? What do I do when he wants to know who he is? Do I explain to him he was conceived in evil and not love? Please someone help!!!

2007-11-14 13:20:08 · 64 answers · asked by Nicole B 4

I realize this is a very sensitive topic and welcome everybody's help. I am researching adoption practices in different countries. I found that in my home country most infant adoptions are closed. Moreover, many people think that it is better for a child not to ever know out that he\she has been adopted, and many adoptive parents go to great lengths to conceal the fact of adoption.

My question is to those adoptees who had negative or not 100% positive adoption experiences because of emotional and other issues related to the awareness of having been abandoned .

Do you think it is emotionally better for an adoptee not to ever find out that he\she was adopted?

Obviously, it is in many cases unrealistic (i.e., in trans-racial or trans-ethnic adoption, plus the truth has a tendency to come out anyway).

Yet, assuming that believable and reliable concealment of the fact of adoption is possible, would you recommend it to adoptive parents? Please explain your answer. Thank you

2007-11-14 11:37:24 · 18 answers · asked by freetrinity 1

I am an adoptee with a sealed adoption but it seems that open adoptions are becoming much more common. Do the children involve get confused with a birth mom and an adoptive mom involved? Do they call them both "Mom"? Does it ever undermine the adoptive parents' authority and discipline? How do you work around this? Do you get everyone together regularly or just exchange the occasional letter and photo?

When I was growing up, sealed adoptions were the only way I knew so I'm just curious about how other families have made open situations work. Thanks!

2007-11-14 11:30:18 · 15 answers · asked by TaxGurl 6

2007-11-14 06:56:34 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

My mom is holding my adoption papers hostage and she wount let me sign the paper that lets me see my birth parents. Her logic is that I dont need to see that right now since I'm in college and am 18 years old. Is there any way i can force her to show me the papers and let me sign them so i can meet my birth parents.

2007-11-14 06:31:59 · 22 answers · asked by subzero_fan_13 2

I understand reasons for people having their children adoptions bc of problems. or whatever their reason may be.

before i start to ask my question. i do NOT want to offend anyones feelings, or make anybody feel bad or anything. i was just wondering somthing tho......

i would be interested in adopting, of course not right now, but maybe in two years at least? and i heard about sum children who were adopted and was searching for their bio parents....
so heres my question...
if i were to adopt, could i tell the child where his or her parents are? or give them any info about them? im not adoptive, and i kno i dont understand how it feels, but i would feel bad to have info on their parents and not give it to them.

is it like against the law to give that information out or something?
bc if i become an adoptive parent, i wouldnt mind helping that child find info or give info on their parents. bc if were them, i would like to know too.

2007-11-14 02:22:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-13 17:45:24 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

research

2007-11-13 17:28:39 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a friend who was born in January,1978 here in the states, but her "Birth Mother" & "Birth Father" are from Trinidad. She just got papers from the foster care agency in Brklyn NY, MercyFirst. It just details why her mother gave her up for adoption and the situation at the time. My question to you people, what is her next step in finding her parents? There is a possibility that 2 of her aunts are here in the U.S. along with her maternal grandmother.

2007-11-13 15:31:37 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have started searching for my biological parents. I have also decided to tell my adoptive parents because I would hate to hide it from them and I feel that they may have information that would make me search tremendously easier. However, why is it so hard for me to tell them? I always feel like I'm making excuses. Last week I wanted to tell my mom but she was leaving for a trip and I didn't want to upset her before she left. Then I was going to tell her tonight, but she was tired and she had bad a bad day already. Now I'm starting to think that the holidays are coming up and I don't want my parents to be upset as my dad is often a mess during the holidays anyway. I just feel like I'm making excuses and looking for the "right moment" to tell them. But I know that there never will be the right moment. Do I just blurt it out one day? How do I even approach this? It's not like there is some magic conversation that can lead up to tell them. Thanks to everyone.

2007-11-13 14:52:58 · 25 answers · asked by redpeach_mi 7

2007-11-13 13:40:35 · 24 answers · asked by rosa k 2

Could there ever be any way to get them back?

2007-11-13 11:36:47 · 17 answers · asked by tina s 2