my aunt and uncle adopted and now they may lose the baby.?

Question

my aunt and uncle adopted a baby from a single woman and they've had him since birth our whole family loves him we've had him for almost five months and hes such a joy. part of the adoption process is putting an ad in the paper asking if anyone objects the adoption. a man came forward saying hes the father, and that he wants a paternity test and to try for custody. can he really take the baby? please answer if you have information.

Answer 1

Dear Oshs,

I'm sorry for what your family is going through now. I don't doubt that everybody loves & wants that baby. I will explain what appears is happening from a legal standpoint. Although you say the baby came from a single woman, she did not create that baby alone. That baby already has another parent who loves & wants him too. The father has rights too. In other words, that baby is not legally available for adoption. Adoption is for babies/children who do not have parents or relatives, or who have parents who have voluntarily or involuntarily relinquished their parental rights. This baby does not fit that description.

Every baby deserves to be with his or her parents unless it would be unsafe for them to do so. Think about if he grew up and found out he had a father who had really wanted him, yet his adoptive family allowed him to be hurt by separating them. He has already been separated from his mother. To the child, adoption is a loss that should never be allowed to occur if it absolutely does not have to.

The whole purpose of advertising in papers is specifically for that reason so in case there is anyone out there who has a first legal right to that child they can come forward. Assuming that is the child's natural father, then yes, he has a right to raise his child. If it's not, then your uncle & aunt may be able to proceed with the adoption. No adoption is final until a judge grants a final decree of adoption in court. No judge will finalize an adoption until proper notification has been given and no relatives have come forth.

Your uncle & aunt should have been advised of the risks before they began the process. That's why some babies were once sent to foster homes first until they were legally free for adoption. Some prospective adoptive parents prefer to only accept children into their homes who are already legally free for adoption because it is very hard for anyone to say good bye to a baby they have been taking care of for 5 months. However, it's the right thing to do in this case. If your uncle & aunt try to adopt again, they might want to consider the foster care system because those children are more likely legally available & they are truly in need of homes. Good luck.

Sorry again for the loss to your family,

julie j

Answer 2

I TOTALLY disagree with what you have gotten so far in the way of answers. adoption isn't going to be easy no matter what you do. What that young man was feeling he most likely would have felt anyway, its what happens. If you keep the child within the family they will have the mirror image that they so desperately need. They will have constant up dates on their medical history and ancestry, all the things closed adoptions lack. Some adoptees feel that "wasn't good enough" thing regardless if they stayed within the family or if they don't. These are the things that adoptees feel. As for you and the father, try to imagine not knowing where your child is, never knowing if they are safe, happy or even still alive. That's what I went through with a closed adoption. Every horror story of another adoptee being murdered, neglected, abused by their adoptive parents sent shivers up my spine. I couldn't help but think I had sent my daughter very possibly to her death. When to decide? AFTER the baby is born, AFTER you have had a chance to let your hormones settle, AFTER you and the father have had a chance to hold the baby. NOT UNTIL YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SURE. Other info? Its not an easy road to travel, I suggest NOT making a pre-birth plan, it creates guilt and hard feelings if you don't follow through. But if you ARE going to do this, keep the child within the family.

Answer 3

There may be a chance of the father getting custdoy of his son. They run an ad in the paper so any one of the boy's realtives can step forward and care for him. This ad is run to protect the adoptive parents and the legality of the adoption. Because if the adoption is finalized and some one comes forward and states they were never told, it could be a long legal court case. I appericate that your family was so open and loving to your nephew. It shows that they are good hearted people. However there is always a risk when it comes to adoption.. and sometimes that risk is having a biological family member step forward for custdoy. I;m sorry this is happening to your family. Hopefully the biological father will let the boy have some contact with your family if the father gets custdoy. I would just wait and see what the court system says, or what the father says. What is most important is what is best for the child. And i know you want that..

Answer 4

If he is the biological father and didn't sign his rights away and didn't know about the child or the adoption then yes he can legally take his child away from your aunt and uncle because they are not the child's biological parents. The mother has to notify the birth father of the adoption and both biological parents need to sign their rights away otherwise the adoption is not valid.

Answer 5

Was the adoption already finalized?
Here they run the ad before the adoption proceedings even begin so that nothing can be over turned.
I would think that it wouldn't make much sense to run the ad after the finalization.
I suppose that if paternity is proven and the man is the boys father, then yes he can petition to take the baby because by all rights it is his and he wasn't served properly prior to the adoption.

Answer 6

I really do feel for your aunt and uncle and I'm sorry for their undoubtedly high hopes. On the other hand, perhaps the man in question was never even told that the woman was pregnant. If a DNA test shows him to be the father, and if there's no legal restriction on his gaining custody (other children taken away for neglect, for instance) then it's only fair that he be given a chance to start a family with her.

That is the purpose of the notification process, as heart-wrenching as it seems to you and your family right now.

Good luck to everyone concerned.

Answer 7

Yes, he can take the baby if he didn't sign the paperwork and DNA tests prove that the child is his.

I know 2 men who got their babies back even after the adoption was finalized because they had never been notified of the pregnancy, much less the birth of the babies. Those babies have since graduated from high school, so this isn't a recent thing.

Answer 8

Yes, if all the t's weren't crossed and i's weren't dotted he could. Normally the bio father is taken care of and his rights are signed off before an adoption takes place.

Answer 9

that is a normal process of adoption. But the adoption is obviously no wheres near fianlizing. They have to terminate both parental rights first before an adoption even takes place.

Answer 10

It really depends on the state laws where your aunt and uncle adopted and live. Some states trample all over the rights of fathers so they may be "lucky" and will get away with not notifying the father. Shame on them and the mother for not pursuing the issue of the paternity of this poor child before he was handed over.

The more I read about these cases, the more disgusted I get about the adoption system in the US. The "newspaper ad" ploy must be outlawed. What a joke.