i have a question about adoption.?

Question

I understand reasons for people having their children adoptions bc of problems. or whatever their reason may be.

before i start to ask my question. i do NOT want to offend anyones feelings, or make anybody feel bad or anything. i was just wondering somthing tho......

i would be interested in adopting, of course not right now, but maybe in two years at least? and i heard about sum children who were adopted and was searching for their bio parents....
so heres my question...
if i were to adopt, could i tell the child where his or her parents are? or give them any info about them? im not adoptive, and i kno i dont understand how it feels, but i would feel bad to have info on their parents and not give it to them.

is it like against the law to give that information out or something?
bc if i become an adoptive parent, i wouldnt mind helping that child find info or give info on their parents. bc if were them, i would like to know too.

Answer 1

Thanks for asking!!! Yes please tell your child about his birth parents. Bing upfront and honest from the beginging helps! My adoptive parents were, so when i found my birth mother i had their support. Not only that there were there for me as i experinced a wide range of emitions in reuniting with my birth mother. my birth mother is died a long time ago. but i thank my adoptive parents every day for being honest with me. just because we look for our birth parents does not mean we love you any less. we just have some questions that we want to answer for our selves.

Answer 2

OK. here is my answer. I am 13-years old and i was adopted at 22-months old. My parents did not tell me anything about my parents, no matter how many times i asked them.And no its not against the law. Here is my advise to you. First i think that you are doing the right thing by adopting a child its an amazing feeling. (well that's what my parents tell me..) anyways if your adopting your child at like 1 or two years old, i don't think you should tell them yet, You should start at like 6 or 7 years old. Start lightly. For example: ''did you know that you were adopted at what ever years old'' and start using your inamination from there... Later on in you're kids life you know like 12 or 13 years. The time when their starting to mature. Tell your child what happened, the reason that they were adopted. If they are really curious they would bring up the conversation. That's the best answer that i can give ya.

Answer 3

yes you can have a opened adoption and you can let them know as much as you maybe told. you can help them when the person gets older and that is great. i know some kids are just curious and its good to let them see. i mean its just the wondering what they look like their medical and stuff they will never feel close to them because they won't know them but its at least a galminze of what they are and that is all. it will be done after that some of them may want to be arund them but its not too often that happens. its great that you would want to do this and i am glad i am adopted and i am now 58. i am glad you would want to do this and its not agianst the law take care..

Answer 4

i was adopted....
my parents never tell me tht i was adopted, not bcoz they want 2 hide the truth but they'll never say tht i'm not their real child...
i knew it when i was 6 n thnx god 4 giving me a great mom n dad coz they able 2 persuade me 2 see my bio-dad when he was sick n whenever my bio-family came, they never failed 2 ask me 2 meet them....

i naturally hav a very strong bond-feeling with my bio-family n i bet this feeling could grab me away from my adoptive parents . but having such a great parents make me want 2 always stay with them....

i think tht it doesnt matter if the child know he/she was adopted... but his/her adoptive parents are the ones tht should b prepare....

be a parent tht he/she proud of then the child'll never leave u...

being adopted...it is a gift 2 hav more parents than others.... but sometimes it'll hurt u when u try not 2 hurt them....

Answer 5

its not against the law for you to tell them what you know..but it is thoughtful of you to realize this is something you have to deal with when adopting..and its a great thing that you would want too..i hope when you adopt ...you always speak of their birth parents as good people...because if you dont like them and they gave birth to your "baby" it makes for a lot of hurt feelings

Answer 6

You would need to get hold of all the information for the child before the adoption is finalized. Once finalized the records are usually sealed (in most States) and the adoptee will not be able to access them, even when he or she becomes an adult and even if the adoptee already knows the information and knows her birthparents

This is why adult adoptees are fighting to have their rights reinstated, so they are able to access their own information. Sealed records are a relic from our past and Adoptee's rights must be reinstated.

Answer 7

Sounds like your heart is in the right place!

It's not against the law, either. It's only an implied threat by adoption agencies.

Answer 8

If you know where they are. Depending on the age of the child that you get / whether it's a private adoption or a ward of the state...you could have much more than that. Our children have pictures of their "other" mommies and daddies (that's what they call them) hanging in their rooms. We have names / addresess / family names who live in other states...etc. Now, would I voluntarily give this info out to him or her....not without them coming to me and asking. But I would also try to contact the bio family to see if they wanted contact before a child just comes knocking at their door. That way, if the bio family wants nothing to do with the child (yes, it happens) then you could always explain this to your child instead of having the door slammed directly in his / her face.

Answer 9

Hi NunnKriss,

Thanks for asking. No, it is not against the law to inform your children about their first families. In fact, I think it would be a great kindness and the morally responsible thing to do. Thank you for being so thoughtful in your advance planning.

julie j
reunited adoptee

Answer 10

The adoption has to be an open adoption with the birth moms knowledge - Even then records will be sealed but if you have contact with the birth mom then that shouldn't be a problem