Adoption

After having two of their own children, a dutch couple returned their 7 year old adopted Korean daughter, whom they raised since she was 4 mos old. Cruel and heartless or just plain old tacky?

2007-12-16 05:33:52 · 22 answers · asked by wrathofkahn03 5

I've read lots of reasons why adoptive mothers have adopted thier children--'always wanted to adopt' or 'couldn't have my own'. One I've read about is odd-Tocophobia.*

"Tocophobia: An abnormal and persistent fear of childbirth.
A phobia is an unreasonable fear that can cause avoidance and panic. Phobias are a relatively common type of anxiety disorder. Phobias can be treated with cognitive behavioral therapy using exposure and fear reduction techniques. In many cases, anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication proves helpful, especially during the early stages of therapy."
http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=5809

If a person is too afraid/scared of pregnancy and/or childbirth so much that they'd adopt another woman's child, what does that say about her mental health?

Should having tocophobia be a good enough reason to adopt? Or should potentail parents who have 'abnornal' phobias seek treatment instead of expecting kids to 'fix' their mental issues?

2007-12-16 05:26:22 · 22 answers · asked by Sunny 7

I'm guessing it's a thought that rarely crosses the minds of adopters. There's a new movement afoot for the media to neglect to mention one's adoption status in crime stories.

I was reading David Kirschner's site, while it's a phenonemn I've been well aware of since delving into the study of losses surrounding abandonment and adoption; I don't believe these statistics are even on the radar of the general public. Here's a quote;

"Paul Mones, a defense attorney and expert, who wrote the book When a Child Kills, reports that adoptees are 15 times more likely to commit parricide (kill one or both adoptive parents) than biologic children"

2007-12-15 16:45:41 · 33 answers · asked by Adoptionissadnsick 4

I thought I would open this up to everyone.

2007-12-15 11:31:40 · 26 answers · asked by a healing adoptee 4

I think that everyone has their own rights. Yes they say give the baby a chance to live but they arent the ones who will be their for you when the time gets rough. I understand that people should take responsibilty for their actions. But I would rather not give my child away because you are going to really going to wonder where the baby is and whats the baby like. Even if you get to visit the baby you will oneday get on your feet and want to take the baby from the adopted parent. What do you all think? Abortion or Adoption?

2007-12-14 14:34:56 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-14 08:40:46 · 37 answers · asked by chumbsie132000 1

Hi my gf had an unexpected pregnancy but i am not ready to be a father so i wanted to give the baby up fpr adoption but she is not ready to give it up for adoption and i don't know what to do please i need help/

2007-12-14 07:55:44 · 23 answers · asked by peg_sey 1

dedicate also wanna to adopt some other different countries kids also too. because i always wanna to do that after i get married . but my sister and family think iam crazy to do that kind thing to have other race child that isnt my real blood .iam not a little child i am adult so its alright to have a child that isnt youre blood and but raise her or him that needed have a family also to be love too thats from other country.cuz i want to adaopt two or three children from other countries after i have mind own .

2007-12-14 06:28:49 · 17 answers · asked by statecalifornia2009 7

My friend fathered a child 12 years ago. When the child was around a year old the mother of the child disappeared and left him no forwarding address.

He managed to track them down after a few months but a man at the end of the telephone told him to get lost and not to attempt to contact them again. They then disappeared and he has not been able to find them since.

My question is could this child have been adopted by a 'stepfather' without this father's consent? Not a day has gone by without him thinking of his son. He is a talented musician and alot of his music has been written with his son in mind - it breaks my heart.

If he was adopted and the birth certificate changed and sealed, will this child ever find his way back to his father?

2007-12-14 03:41:01 · 9 answers · asked by H****** 7

In my last question I asked about foster to adopt programs and why so many people want to adopt from the system straight off the bat without serving the foster program first.
I got an incredibly rude answer off one person, informing me that as a foster parent who has adopted one foster child, with another adoption in the pipeline, I shouldn't receive my monthly stipend to pay for my foster children's upkeep. For the record my husband earns excellent money and we no longer accept a stipend once the children are permanently in our care-this is done so our children don't feel we are being paid to have them.

My question is, how dare somebody imply that foster parents are 'paid' to have these children, when they as adoptive parents get a huge tax credit for adopting?

2007-12-14 01:22:44 · 10 answers · asked by Sonja 4

I have just read an amazing essay written by a first/birth mother - Heather Lowe - written in 1999 - in regard to suggestions for reform in adoption.

http://www.adopting.org/BirthmothersViewOfAdoption.html

It's lengthy (grab a coffee) - but I would appreciate views on the essay if you have the time to read it.

Many of these practices do not occur in Australia or the UK.

Do you think these reforms are achievable in the U.S., where adoption numbers per year are quite astounding??
(over 130,000 per year)

Do you think that prospective adoptive parents would benefit from reading this before adopting??

2007-12-14 00:26:55 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-13 15:41:16 · 22 answers · asked by PearApple 7

I gave her up to adoption at birth, I did it for her I knew I would never make a mom. Now she's 22, and I've found her. Her family are cool, but she just not that interested. Most times she won't return my calls or nothing, she does meet me occasional, and she talk to me when I call, but she dont call me mom or nothing. I feel like I made a mistake now and i want to make up for lost time but she dont' aknowledge me as her mom. What the hell do I do?

2007-12-12 19:05:33 · 40 answers · asked by Nyla S 1

Myself and my husband have been long time foster parents, since before we had bio kids. I was an adoptee myself, so felt 'qualified', if you will, to understand the bond that can exist between parents and children who aren't genetically related.
Anyway, I hear and read of many people wishing to adopt children, and many do adopt through the foster system. But, and it's a big but, do you think it's fair that people get to adopt straight up, without 'fostering' the child first?
We've adopted 1 foster child so far, with another adoption in the pipeline, but we've gone through all the hard yards that come with fostered children initially, with our children and many many others.
Why do some parents expect to be able to just walk on in and have a straightforward adoption without first fostering, or even serving the foster-to-adopt side of the program?
I could be mistaken, but it sometimes seems a little selfish to me. What do others think, or what have your experiences with this been?

2007-12-12 13:49:53 · 14 answers · asked by Sonja 4

I adopted my ex-wifes child. We are now divorced. She has moved away and I have very little contact with my adoptive child. Their choice by the way. She knows I'm not her real father. I do however get stuck paying hefty child support for this child who lives in another state. My ex takes me to court all the time to have it raised. I want out. Is this possible. I was trying to be a nice guy because her real father wasn't much to brag about. There is got to be something I can do. Any feedback would be nice.

2007-12-12 10:22:40 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

In PA, how old do you have to be to foster parent. What are the basic requirements to be a foster parent? I am a single 22 year old. Thank you for your time!

2007-12-12 09:32:39 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Do you agree with arranged marriages?

Would you agree with sending your daughter off to marry a man she doesn’t know, to spend the rest of her life with a man who may or may not treat her well? Would you make her leave her family, her home, against her will, to make a new life with a new husband and family that she has never met?

It seems most people in western civilization balk at this type of practice, but really, how is adoption much different? We are taking our children from their families and making them go live with strangers who may or may not treat them well, against their will, to make a new life with a new family that they have never met. Usually infants have even less power because they are unable to verbalize, whereas in an arranged marriage, at least the woman in question would be able to speak her opinion and object (if she had that option). Infants don’t have that luxury.

2007-12-12 02:14:30 · 16 answers · asked by Lillie 5

I am doing this for a school project. If you answer it will be really helpful. Thanks

2007-12-11 10:07:37 · 23 answers · asked by tay 1

Has anyone had problems with sealed adoption records in Iowa with Catholic Charities? My mother was adopted at a young age. She was born in 1962. My mother hasn't taken the initiative to search herself but is constantly asking me to search. Adopted parents have given some details, but after contacting Catholic Charities, I have recieved absolutely no response. I don't know where to look or who to talk to. I don't know what to do and didn't know if anyone has any advise or recommendations. Thanks!

2007-12-11 07:53:03 · 8 answers · asked by T B 1

what is the process and how long does it take. My husband and I are interested in adopting from the United States. We are interested in adopting a small child. Can any one help. I'm from California

2007-12-11 06:39:23 · 4 answers · asked by ஐ♥Bethஐ♥ 5

So my best friend is sick and well she has a little girl who is 1 1/2 years old....umm were not sure how long she will be around for and well i was talking to her yesterday and she said that if anything happens she wants me to take her daughter. i myself have a 8 month old boy. i would love to adopt her little girl because i am so close to her. i thought talking it over with my bf first would be the best thing as it would be his life to right? well he is so agienst it and thinks that she should just go into the foster care system and hope to be adopted. I dont think thats fair.but i am confused now because for one i dont know how i would go about adopting her in the first place and the other reason is because i love my bf but i also love my best friend and her daughter. if i just let her go i would probally never see her agian and that would kill me...i was there when she was born and me and liza( my best friend) have been friends since i was 8. its a long time i am almost 22 now.

2007-12-10 16:16:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

IF A CHILD IS 6 YEARS OLD, HAS BEEN WITH GRANDMOTHER SINCE BIRTH, THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT THE FATHER OF SAID CHILD WAS 13 AT TIME OF CONCEPTION. THE MOTHER WAS 18 (DAUGHTER OF SAID GRANDMOTHER). FATHER IS WILLING TO COME FORWARD IF NEEDED. WOULD WE BE ABLE TO USE THIS TO BATTLE FOR ADOPTION SO THE GRANDMOTHER CAN KEEP THE CHILD. THE MOTHER HAS NEVER PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, OR FINANICALLY BEEN THERE FOR SAID CHILD.

2007-12-10 01:38:13 · 7 answers · asked by Rick Sr 1

I'm just wondering if it would be best for us to foster children in our home first? I also want to know if fostering can help us adopt quickly? Any suggestions would be great! We are not looking for a baby (although it would be nice), I would simply like to have a child that is less than four years old. I figure, if I'm going to take a year off for maternity leave, I would like to do it while that child is not in school. Otherwise, I might as well work. Also, we are not opposed to taking siblings.

2007-12-10 01:21:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

the little boy i am thinking of adopting has been raised by his aunt his mother was a hooker who did drugs so his father is unknown and his mother overdosed on drugs when he was three months old he is now two and a half his aunt is giving him up because she is tired of taking care of him and wants nothing to do with him with his parents unknown and his only blood relatives abandoning him pretty much would you tell him he is adopted when he gets older or just keep it a secret because he could never find his parents anyway

2007-12-10 01:18:01 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

The problem is that this baby's father (her two boys were with her first husband) left her before she found out (long story, lets leave it at when he said he had a few errands to run they involved cleaning out their bank account and skipping town.) She and her two boys are living with me and my husband right now, because her lousy ex didn't pay their rent for 3 months before he took off and she lost their apartment. She was recently laid off from her job, has no money, permanent home, or support outside of my hubby and I. She has been so depressed, over the last few weeks it seemed like she lost the will to live. After finding out about this baby today she had a breakdown. She wants to put the baby up for adoption, but she doesn't know where to start. Does anyone here have any advice? She and I had a very long talk today and she is sure about giving the baby up. She didn't want to be a mom again before all this, nevermind now. She's pro-life so abortion is not an option..

2007-12-09 17:04:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can anyone help me please?

We have been going out for 21months and we are now engaged and have been for 4months. We both still live at home with our parents but are planning to get a place together sum time next year. she is a full time mother and She has a little girl who is 22 months old and I've been bringing her up as my own and have been there for her since she was only a month old. She doesn't see her real dad because he isn't interested in her and has only seen her a few times (thats only when we've gone out our way to take her to his otherwise he wouldn't) and he doesn't pay anything to help my girlfriend out (not like it matters because I do).

I have recently been in contact her real dad and asked if he would have a problem with it and he's told me i might as well as I've brought her up for most her life and he's never been there for her as he isn't bothered about her.

Does anyone know if I would be able to adopt as I don't know what to do???????????????????????????????????

2007-12-09 12:29:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

One answer here on Y!A Adoption suggested that biological parents who have PTSD or any other disorder should be sterilized. That is puzzler to me. Sure, it will take the "unworthy to have children" out of the gene pool. Yet, on the other hand, who will breed children for infertile people who are more worthy to have children? What do you think?

2007-12-09 11:55:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a sociology project that is due in a couple of days, and I need to have a couple of interviews done for it. My thesis is about how adoption affects marriage and about the decision to adopt kid(s) in the first place.
Here are some sample questions:
How old were you when you and your partner adopted?
Domestic or international adoption? Why?
How many kids did you adopt?
Age of adopted kid?
Why did you decide to adopt?

Please email me ASAP because I kind of procrastinated with getting these done :-/
my email: fishyhedgehog@sbcglobal. net (w/o the space between the . and net)

2007-12-09 10:51:08 · 3 answers · asked by Hannah 1

I honestly don't know.

I hear about all the paperwork, but how are APs evaluated/investigated before an adoption is approved?

When I asked my amother, she claims not to remember, but I'm sure it's changed from the '60s anyway.

2007-12-09 07:57:59 · 12 answers · asked by Sunny 7

I know a couple waiting for an adoption to come through and it has been just over 2 years with nothing yet. They are going through a reputable agency who does keep in touch with them.

2007-12-08 03:14:52 · 8 answers · asked by Michael H 2