All categories - 18 August 2007

We always hear "The Rules" From the female side.



Now here are the rules from the male side:

These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about
you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let
it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And, no, we are never going to think of it
that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it
done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

2007-08-18 22:23:35 · 9 answers · asked by blackfirescorpio05 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-08-18 22:23:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Netherlands

I'm pretty sure I know how to make the body but I don't know about the neck. Help please.

2007-08-18 22:23:12 · 4 answers · asked by Valentino 2 in Performing Arts

i would like to know so i can get mine fixed.

2007-08-18 22:22:48 · 8 answers · asked by demondracing420 1 in Ford

Also
Which countries do you think will be the main participants?
What alliances do you think will exist and who do you think will be involved?

2007-08-18 22:22:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Military

2007-08-18 22:22:33 · 6 answers · asked by b singh 1 in Men's Health

i have constant oins and needles in my fingers

2007-08-18 22:22:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pain & Pain Management

I know some don't look that great, but the ones who make an effort can really look hot!!!

2007-08-18 22:21:40 · 15 answers · asked by Gurly Winnie 2 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

I'm coming home soon, yay!

2007-08-18 22:21:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

For example,

Aprl 1 Major Cash Purchases 150, 000 units of CDs @ $96 unit cost plus $50, 000 for freight charges and $20, 000 for handling cost (Handling cost will be immediately debited to purchases.

Apr 10 Cash Sales, 5, 000 units @ $ 300 average selling price.

Apr 11 Paid in delivery expenses and handling charges: 2% of related sales.

Apr 30 Launch massive advertising campaign $ 1, 000,000 to increase sales

May 10 Paid $ 2, 000, 000 to Pani Recording Studios due to lost from law suit due to Copyright Infringement

May 15 Reacquire 50, 000 ordinary shares from shareholders at current market value of shares. Due to some financial difficulties and management problems the market value of shares decreased to $ 101.

2007-08-18 22:20:45 · 2 answers · asked by Caine 1 in Corporations

Because I always play with her, and i be a little to rough with her sometimes but thats because i could not resist her. The reason i'm asking this is because she always bites me when I put my hand out to her. Is this just simple kitten playing or does she just hate me?

2007-08-18 22:20:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cats

I mean, there wasn't any dinosaur who commited a very original sin or anything, they never went near any apple trees, they just ate humans instead right? So they should all be up in Heaven then. But wouldn't that mean that everyone who went to Heaven would be eaten up by the Dino's? Even God, made in man's image, wouldn't survive a Dino raid.

2007-08-18 22:20:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-08-18 22:19:21 · 16 answers · asked by ♠The Boss♠ 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-08-18 22:18:22 · 6 answers · asked by raul.eze78 1 in Other - Europe

2007-08-18 22:18:12 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

Seems about anyone she comes into contact with falls to bits. Spears, Lohan, etc.

2007-08-18 22:17:18 · 8 answers · asked by Aldah Mi 2 in Celebrities

Somebody remarked in the bar the other evening that Edmonds, who now hosts 'Deal or no deal', left the BBC under a cloud when a member of the audience was killed. But, could Mr Blobby really be responsible?

2007-08-18 22:17:06 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Comedy

2007-08-18 22:16:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

My friend here didn't play high school or college football and beleives he has a chance to still somehow join the NFL is it possible? I don't think it is but he wants prof before he just gives up.

2007-08-18 22:16:41 · 17 answers · asked by Brandon C 1 in Football (American)

1. Benefits of customer relationship management
2. Customer retention
3. Customer satisfaction

2007-08-18 22:16:32 · 7 answers · asked by Chao 1 in Corporations

I know that it has made environmental awareness in people increased..besides that?

2007-08-18 22:16:05 · 27 answers · asked by sunshine 3 in Global Warming

They don't just pop; it feels like a headache in each ear, and everything I hear is muffled for a while. I can feel the aftereffects for about 10 minutes later. Is this normal?

2007-08-18 22:15:58 · 8 answers · asked by lirael1019 1 in Other - Destinations

Mine is Sugar puffs and Weetabix.!

2007-08-18 22:14:31 · 27 answers · asked by Lindsay Jane 6 in Other - Food & Drink

1. movie?
2.Actor?
3. Director?

2007-08-18 22:14:23 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

how could i describe a very attractive woman?

2007-08-18 22:13:34 · 11 answers · asked by ddzaszcxascs 2 in Books & Authors

I am looking for good sweet sixteen hair style and i want to look good but i cant find the right place to get a really hot hair style!!!

2007-08-18 22:13:32 · 5 answers · asked by I love the jonas brothers 1 in Other - Beauty & Style

2007-08-18 22:13:31 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-08-18 22:13:25 · 8 answers · asked by Richard T. 1 in Fish

you couldn't do anything because you were tied up by the bad guys

2007-08-18 22:12:56 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

...and saw - to my utter horror - that it's almost completely covered with tarnish!! Never in my life have I been so embarrassed! Can someone please tell me how to safely remove the tarnish, without damaging the surface???

My grateful thanks :)

2007-08-18 22:12:51 · 14 answers · asked by /\v/\TARD 3 in Religion & Spirituality