Look Deeper
The world of darkness I have created continues to grow darker.
There is nothing solid-- not that there ever was.
I look at myself hoping to find the little girl I lost.
But all I see is a stranger looking back at me.
I look deeper and still I cannot recognize this girl.
I want peace, but continue to surround myself with conflict.
I can never validate myself; I have to look to others.
This is how it has always been.
I always hit a brick wall when my emotions start to take control.
This mental roadblock is solid, but not something worth keeping.
There is no rational in my mind, only chaos.
Nothing I ever decipher makes sense.
Everything is so intense for me and my grip on it is too weak.
My connections both internal and external are diminishing.
It is the same cycle that I try hard to break.
But I do not have the confidence to break it.
The real me is toxic, that is all I see.
That person is not worth knowing.
That is very sad indeed, because everyone has worth.
I have never been able to find my own though.
There is good in me and there is bad.
Every time I attempt to look deeper, I close my eyes.
I do not want to know this stranger.
But she needs me.
2007-07-14
13:46:22
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6 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Poetry