GET YOURSELF INTO BRITAIN – WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE!!!!!!!!!
Good Morning and welcome to a brand new edition of ASYLUM. Today’s programme features another chance to take
part in our exiting competition……
GET INTO BRITAIN AND WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE!!!!!!!!!
We’ve already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor;
“THE BRITISH TAX PAYER”
And don’t forget, we’re now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they DON’T have a valid BRITISH PASSPORT. You only need to know one word of English; ASYLUM.
Prizes include all-expenses paid accommodation, cash benefits start at £180 per week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused, reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic word; ASYLUM.
Why, only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown goat class from Karbul to our International gateway at Stanstead Airport, where law enforcement officers were on hand to fast track you to luxury accommodation at the £200 per night at the Hilton Hotel. You will join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain. Our most popular destinations include the famous White Ciffs of Dover, the world famous Toddington Service area in historical Bedfordshire and the money trees at Croydon. If you still don’t understand the rules, don’t forget there’s no need to phone a friend or ask the audience – just apply for Legal Aid! Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counselors are waiting to help – it won’t cost you a penny.
So play today! It could change your life forever. Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug dealers, Tamil tigers, Yardie gangsters, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali geurillas and Polish refugees.
COME ON DOWN!!!!!
Get along to the airport, get along to a lorry park, (its ok as the driver gets prison and not you), also get along to the ferry terminal. Don’t stop in Germany or France where they don’t want you. Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of the tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth!!!!!
Roll up, roll up my friends for the game that never ends!!!!
Everyone’s a winner when they play;
ASYLUM!!!!!!
2006-12-09
00:11:34
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14 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles