My husband seemed to change overnight. He is 63 and we have been together for 21 years. Some very tough times raising four boys and going through custody battles, teen years, etc.
Just over 18 months ago, he began to act differently, angry, judgmental, needed his space. No tolerance for anything. He loved me but was not 'in love'. He was ready to flee. We finally talked about seeing a doctor as he realized he was miserable and confused by all of this, too. It took months to finally get results that showed his pituitary gland was not functioning properly. Shut down pretty much. He now takes testosterone, human growth hormone, & cortisone. But, it is such a slow process to try various doses to see what will really work.
In the mean time, he has a 'friend' that he met early on when he first began to feel these changes. They talk maybe three times a day for about 2 minutes each time, see each other maybe an hour a week or less to visit.
I have a very hard time with this as we are having sex now, though not as often as before but we went 11 months with no intimacy so am happy to have this, at least. He swears he and his 'friend' are not having sex and with his lack of stamina, I tend to believe this. She is his 'comfort zone'. He says he can't explain it but right now it is important to him to have this relationship.
I just need to hear some success stories. Is there any hope we can get through this intact. How can I better understand and cope with his need for this woman.
I have read so much on all of this, talked with Jed Diamond early on, etc. I know hormones have so much to do with how we feel, behave, love, etc. But, it is so hard to share him. And so hard when others tell me he is using me and that he can control this but chooses not to.
He sleeps in his office trailer otherwise he is as much a part of this household as ever. We laugh, watch movies, eat together, hug goodnight and he goes out, calls her and goes to bed.
I need encouragement and help understanding......
2006-09-05
02:58:21
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9 answers
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asked by
Cynthia
1
in
Marriage & Divorce