All categories - 1 July 2006

Willys cynical thought for the day;

There can not be freedom of religion without freedom from freaking religion!

The Word of God as told by Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson recently made headlines when he stated that God caused Ariel Sharon's stroke, because Sharon was trying to divide the Holy Land. This is hardly the first time Robertson's comments have created such a stir. He also claimed that God sent Hurricane Katrina because New Orleans is filled with hedonists and homosexuals. While those statements got the most media attention, we managed to dig up the following additional, actual quotes from Pat Robertson. Enjoy.

Magic Johnson acquired AIDS because God had $50 on the Lakers when the Chicago Bulls defeated them in the 1991 NBA Finals.

God shot Kurt Cobain in the head because 'In Utero' was a disappointing follow-up to, 'Nevermind'.

God commanded my [Pat Robertson's] hairdresser to suck me [Pat Robertson] off in my [Pat Robertson's] dressing room. When she didn't, God blackened both of her eyes.

Osama Bin Laden is still alive and well because God always felt the Twin Towers were, "too towery."

God allowed the Roman soldiers to torture Jesus, because he was disappointed that Jesus gave up on the carpentry thing. Especially, after Jesus had promised to make God a napkin holder.

Satan was cast out of Heaven because he kept saying, "Ex-squeeze me?" and "Smell you later!"

God is black. He afflicted Africa with AIDS because he didn't want it to seem like he was playing favorites.

God doesn't mind you taking his name in vain. He does, however, get pissed when people talk bad about the guy that played Mr. Belvedere.

God thinks Nickelback is crap, and not just because they're all queer.

And while being a homosexual is a sin, God forgives them purely on the virtue of also being simply FABULOUS!

As a point of contrast, I think this is a good point for me to throw in a personal conversation I had with God.

Yesterday, I got a flat tire and I was like, 'Why me Lord?' And God said, 'B*tch, thou ate all the cereal this morning.' And I was like, 'Damn it, God, I told you I'd buy more after work!' And He was like, 'F@ck you, c@nt. Did thou not see the burning bush that sprang forth from the front of the box of Special K? Why didn't thou just eat the frozen waffles that you've had sitting there for 2 MONTHS?'

So, I just left. You can't talk to Him when He gets like that.

Well, that was just a small sample of the wisdom that pours forth from Pat Robertson each and every day. Hope you enjoyed it. And remember to keep watching the 700 Club. Robertson promises to reveal startling new video evidence that Jesus came over his house, and his neighbor's son accidentally struck Him in the crotch with a wiffle ball bat. Or that might have been Bob Saget. It was either Jesus or Bob Saget.

Hate to Hate You, Baby

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-01 07:22:26 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

A man lives in a tall block of flats. He usually takes the elevator up to the 5th floor. But he lives on the 9th.
Why does he go only up to the 5th?

2006-07-01 07:22:17 · 11 answers · asked by eDiNa 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Politics aside, he's done the Daily Show a few times, he has a sense of humor and politicians are making regular appearances on the show (I thought John McCain did a great job). I think it would be interesting, would you watch?

2006-07-01 07:22:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

2006-07-01 07:22:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Beauty & Style

2006-07-01 07:22:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Quotations

thats cheap and big

2006-07-01 07:21:53 · 42 answers · asked by i love dogs 1 in Amusement Parks

can you even see your room floor? lol

2006-07-01 07:21:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cleaning & Laundry

i like a guy but he goes to a different school i have none him for 3 months? idk if he likes me though! gah we flirt all the time- or it seems like we do. my friends say that if i tell him he will like me even more. true/false? help? also for everyone that says "what do you have to lose". well THE GUY THAT I REALLY LIKE, duh! and I don't know for SURE if he likes me because I asked him but he didn't say me, but would he have anyways if he did like me, no.

2006-07-01 07:21:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

2006-07-01 07:21:48 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Words & Wordplay

2006-07-01 07:21:45 · 8 answers · asked by alicia 1 in Singles & Dating

cigarette smoker and I expect the guy I am out on a date with, a bf or otherwise, to light my cigarette for me... I smoke the attractive Misty Light 120's ( the long ones) for appearance, and I carry them in a very shiny metal case...I have a fancy elegant lighter, and when I want a cigarette, I hand the lighter to the guy I am with and expect him to light my cigarette for me. MY women friends think that is too demanding on my part...since many of the guys do not smoke...I say that if a guy is with me, it is his duty and proper ettiquete to see that my cigarette is lit for me...Am I expecting to much...I don't think so...I think it is part of the elegant look, and that it is the guy's responsiblity to light my cigarette for me..what does anyone else think?

2006-07-01 07:21:41 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Etiquette

Does it help or hurt their marketing? I think some people should leave out the picture. I am in the insurance business and would consider using a photo of myself in my ads if it really helps.

2006-07-01 07:21:23 · 10 answers · asked by Seth Westin 2 in Advertising & Marketing

If he does, it most likely won't be by the Pistons.

The likely contender appears to be the Bulls. While I feel Ben does deserve a nice chunk of change thanks to his role in helping the Pistons on all those championship runs, I think he's not worth a max contract over a long period of time. He is declining, his wrist is mangled, making it hard for him to shoot free throws(this has been documented) and his offensive skills are horrible.

If Chicago does this, will this be one of the worst sports moves of all time?

2006-07-01 07:21:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Basketball

2006-07-01 07:21:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in FIFA World Cup (TM)

2006-07-01 07:21:02 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in FIFA World Cup (TM)

2006-07-01 07:21:00 · 18 answers · asked by sonia s 1 in Chandigarh

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2006-07-01 07:20:57 · 9 answers · asked by mido_thethunder_new 1 in Music

2006-07-01 07:20:56 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Pets

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2006-07-01 07:20:51 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Business & Finance

2006-07-01 07:20:47 · 6 answers · asked by mmnut33 1 in Other - Computers

and y?

2006-07-01 07:20:38 · 29 answers · asked by ♥ms.peREz?♥ 4 in Marriage & Divorce

I am just starting my first BC pill pack. I started my period last night (Friday) or basically Saturday. I am supposed to start my pill pack Sunday then but I forgot my pills at home and I am on vacation. What should I do? Can I just take 3 pills when I get back on Wednesday, wait til next month, or just start on the next Sunday?

2006-07-01 07:20:34 · 5 answers · asked by AO 1 in Women's Health

2006-07-01 07:20:33 · 17 answers · asked by Jungle Resource 2 in Books & Authors

Had you ever think what are thougths are made of??

2006-07-01 07:20:31 · 14 answers · asked by BabaFox 1 in Sociology

Do you think Muslims are getting a bad rap due to the fact that they do not denounce the wack job terrorist? Or do most Muslims agree with the fact that killing in the name of "Allah" is fine. What say you people?

2006-07-01 07:20:28 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2006-07-01 07:20:21 · 31 answers · asked by connie 2 in Hair

without brushing your teeth please because i dont brush mine very often

2006-07-01 07:20:17 · 13 answers · asked by coolmandarek 1 in Dental

...and things get freak-y!

2006-07-01 07:20:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Adolescent