The Word of God as told by Pat Robertson is this guy for real?

Question

Willys cynical thought for the day;

There can not be freedom of religion without freedom from freaking religion!

The Word of God as told by Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson recently made headlines when he stated that God caused Ariel Sharon's stroke, because Sharon was trying to divide the Holy Land. This is hardly the first time Robertson's comments have created such a stir. He also claimed that God sent Hurricane Katrina because New Orleans is filled with hedonists and homosexuals. While those statements got the most media attention, we managed to dig up the following additional, actual quotes from Pat Robertson. Enjoy.

Magic Johnson acquired AIDS because God had $50 on the Lakers when the Chicago Bulls defeated them in the 1991 NBA Finals.

God shot Kurt Cobain in the head because 'In Utero' was a disappointing follow-up to, 'Nevermind'.

God commanded my [Pat Robertson's] hairdresser to suck me [Pat Robertson] off in my [Pat Robertson's] dressing room. When she didn't, God blackened both of her eyes.

Osama Bin Laden is still alive and well because God always felt the Twin Towers were, "too towery."

God allowed the Roman soldiers to torture Jesus, because he was disappointed that Jesus gave up on the carpentry thing. Especially, after Jesus had promised to make God a napkin holder.

Satan was cast out of Heaven because he kept saying, "Ex-squeeze me?" and "Smell you later!"

God is black. He afflicted Africa with AIDS because he didn't want it to seem like he was playing favorites.

God doesn't mind you taking his name in vain. He does, however, get pissed when people talk bad about the guy that played Mr. Belvedere.

God thinks Nickelback is crap, and not just because they're all queer.

And while being a homosexual is a sin, God forgives them purely on the virtue of also being simply FABULOUS!

As a point of contrast, I think this is a good point for me to throw in a personal conversation I had with God.

Yesterday, I got a flat tire and I was like, 'Why me Lord?' And God said, 'B*tch, thou ate all the cereal this morning.' And I was like, 'Damn it, God, I told you I'd buy more after work!' And He was like, 'F@ck you, c@nt. Did thou not see the burning bush that sprang forth from the front of the box of Special K? Why didn't thou just eat the frozen waffles that you've had sitting there for 2 MONTHS?'

So, I just left. You can't talk to Him when He gets like that.

Well, that was just a small sample of the wisdom that pours forth from Pat Robertson each and every day. Hope you enjoyed it. And remember to keep watching the 700 Club. Robertson promises to reveal startling new video evidence that Jesus came over his house, and his neighbor's son accidentally struck Him in the crotch with a wiffle ball bat. Or that might have been Bob Saget. It was either Jesus or Bob Saget.

Hate to Hate You, Baby

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; WILLYS JOKES 4/25/06 The Word of God as told by Pat Robertson

Yes APM your conclusion is correct but it was god who through us all out of paradice based on the actions of 1 man Adam! (If you believe that)

Answer 1

Those are funny, you have quite the imagination. Maybe you could spice up the next scary movie script.

Answer 2

Pat Robertson didn't say ALL of those things.. How do you know that God didn't send Katrina to N.O. as a punishment..
Magic Johnson probably got aids because it is a plague on the sin of homosexuality... A faithful Christian man should never get aids, only by the chance contact with blood or transfusion..
It probably irks you that God does what he wants, but he does. Pat Robertson is an old man and doesn't do too bad, but he does miss once in a while..
You seem to be angry that these statements could be true and that your very life could be in the hands of God himself..How will you save yourself, will you fight against God?? Will you shoot at him??

Answer 3

Remember that Pat Robertson is a man and is just as imperfect as the rest of us. A prudent person who will take what he says and check in the Bible to see if it matches up with what Jesus, who is perfect, says.
Being a Christian is not about following Pat Robertson. Being a Christian is about following the Love and Wisdom of Jesus Christ!

Answer 4

He probably thinks it was the devil who created all of us in order to amuse himself. Life just makes more sense that way. Love the sinner, but not the sin. Come on. We both know the world works the other way around. We love the sin, but never the sinner. Because if we did love the sinner, we'd all love ourselves, but not what we do. Then what's the point of life. See. Devil always wins, but what makes him evil then? See. Yin and Yan, or nothing.

Answer 5

Pat Robertson is a nut. I watch the 700 club just for laughs. Very amusing stuff.

The sad thing is, one of my relatives takes every word of his to heart. God help her.

Answer 6

Lets not forget about John Hagee, Fred Phelps, Kent Hovind, Billy Graham and all these other christian nuts.

Answer 7

Well, I do not agree with Pat R on most things-but what you posted is not true-it may be funny to some- but not true.

Answer 8

Robertson has had serious mental problems for years. He should be in a mental institution.

Answer 9

Am I to conclude that you judge all of Christianity by the actions of one man????

Answer 10

Has anyone seen my question?
I can't seem to find it.