I consider my self to be a classy and glamorouse women, and I work hard at that image...the problem is I am a?

Question

cigarette smoker and I expect the guy I am out on a date with, a bf or otherwise, to light my cigarette for me... I smoke the attractive Misty Light 120's ( the long ones) for appearance, and I carry them in a very shiny metal case...I have a fancy elegant lighter, and when I want a cigarette, I hand the lighter to the guy I am with and expect him to light my cigarette for me. MY women friends think that is too demanding on my part...since many of the guys do not smoke...I say that if a guy is with me, it is his duty and proper ettiquete to see that my cigarette is lit for me...Am I expecting to much...I don't think so...I think it is part of the elegant look, and that it is the guy's responsiblity to light my cigarette for me..what does anyone else think?

Answer 1

Smoking doesn't look elegeant, it looks dirty. Don't believe the hype.

Answer 2

You have unusual expectations. First, cigarette smoking is the furthest thing from glamorous or classy. You smell, your teeth are yellow. You wrinkle. You cough. Phlegm is not attractive. Nor is your breath. Someone might say they can't smell your stink, but they are just being nice.

I am a guy. If you handed a lighter to me, I would consider it demeaning and demanding. "Here, servant, light my cigarette for me." And, based on your comments ("it is his duty...to see that my cigarette is lit for me."), I am right. Didn't you just have the lighter in your hand? Do you want a boyfriend or a butler? What ivory tower did you grow up in? Or are you just trying to act like you did?

You probably walk up to a door and stare at your guy until he opens it for you, too. As a guy, I have no respect for someone so demanding. If I were a woman, it would be hard for me to find it in my heart to truly respect a guy that groveled so much. He sounds like a pathetic loser. Your friends would probably think the same about him, and about you.

I think you need a few more years alone before you date. Then maybe you'll start to think about your duties and what you could contribute to a relationship instead of asking what you can and can't get out of a relationship.

Answer 3

I agree with someone who said that cigarette smoking is not elegant. If you are dating someone who is a non-smoker, do not expect them to light your cigarette. Misty Lights are not attractive by any shape of the imagination. Also for your information, I dated a man who smoked and when I kissed him it was like licking a butt can. Very nasty and very unelegant. I did not date him long because while I liked the man, I did not like kissing him and after being out with him I needed to use asthma inhalers. So look into dropping the cigarettes.

Answer 4

Well, darlin'... being a classy girl who smokes, as well...I have found that people who do not smoke themselves do not want to deal in anyway with "condoning" or "promoting" anyone who smokes. To them it's like saying it's "Okay" for you to smoke,and they don't want ANYpart of it. Even the people,women or men, that do smoke... it seems that "Chivalry" is dead... Apperantly the "Traditional" ettiquette to light a ladies cig, open the door for the ladies, giving up your seat for a woman who is standing in a crowded area... etc, is all but on the verge of extinsion. My best advise is to have those shiny cases, and special lighters for YOUR smoking indulgence... it is after all, for you, not anyone else.
The moment you have any "Expectations" of anyone outside yourself... to respond, or react in a certain way, you can bet your bottom dollar... you will be dissapointed every time. Be pleasantly suprized, and award that behavior when and if someone offers it to you. Otherwise try to switch off your expectations of a "proper" courtier. Instead, apply a playfull attitude in communicating that when a man lights your cig, or opens the door,etc... it makes you feel "Sexy"... and that there is a seducting elemt to it that attracts your attention to any man who does "The Little Things" like that... Does that help? I hope so... have a great holiday weekend!!!! ;)
"Sassifrass"

Answer 5

I'm a smoker but i would sooner throw that lighter on my date's forehead than light their cigarettes.

Dear, etiquette dictates that a woman shouldn't smoke at all. If ever she does, she shouldn't really smoke in front of a dinner guest unless expressly invited, that would usually come with a complimentary light. But if the guy is not making any move to light your cigarette, it's not because he's a troglodyte, but maybe because he's a little more modern than Emily Post.

Women are now expected to light their own cigarettes. Don't be all Mae West on your date. It's just tacky. And please... you smoke because you think it will make you look elegant?

Dear, elegant women do not smoke to begin with. Brazen women smoke cigarettes AND expect their dates to light 'em up. It's like code for "Light my fire..." and i don't think i need to reiterate what THAT implies.

Oh, and one last thing. Please fix your spelling and grammar, it is very un-glamorous to spell "glamorouse" and very tacky to refer to yourself as a plural noun.

Answer 6

If you are with a nonsmoker, light your own coffin nails.

If he has a lighter, then it is romantically appropriate for him to light your cigarette for you. If not, then it's goofy for you to hand him your lighter.

If you think smoking gives you an elegant look, wait until you see how sexy and elegant the new line of shiny voiceboxes and oxygen tanks are. It's a little hard to be classy while you're hacking up bits of your lungs and dying from the cancer, but you gotta do what you gotta do!

Best wishes and God bless.

Answer 7

I am very pleased to read of a woman who actually enjoys being treated like a lady. I hope that certain things such as this never go out of fashion. The next thing you know, men won't be holding chairs or opening doors for ladies.
Properly, a man should light the lady's cigarette with the proffered lighter and then return it when she is ready to accept it. Alternatively he may place it in front of her on the table signalling his desire to help again without encouragement should she bring out another cigarette.
Frankly, the smoking is a different issue altogether; I confess that I disapprove of it but I would not use the time to discuss whether smoking is right or wrong, unless one is devoid of etiquette or unusually proud of his wisdom on such issues. A man on a date with a lady is polite, just as she is polite in return. At the end of the evening, if the smoking has made a man think that the relationship is doomed, then so be it: there isn't any need to explain except in a gentle way. An example of this might be, "I enjoyed our evening together, but I can't see us dating due to my disapproval of smoking in general. However, thank you for a wonderful time and I hope to be able to remain friendly."
On the issue of manners in general, I am reminded of a situation I witnessed in Washington DC some years back. As a man and woman approached a door from opposite sides, the slightly older man reached out and held the door for the woman. As she walked through, the woman huffed, "I hope you're not holding that door for me just because I'm a woman!"
The man looked at her gently and smiled. "Certainly not, madam! I am holding this door because I am a gentleman!"
Good manners is a way of showing respect for oneself.

Answer 8

jeez, u most be some stuck up lady and ur hearing that from a person still in grade school! u shouldn't smoke for appearance cus eventually ur so called appearance will go do the hill. It is too demanding and it gives the impression that u ARE stuck up and too good for any one else. Most guys wouldn't appreciate that. u have two hands mare than likely so use them, its ur responsibility since u decided one day that u would smoke cus u thought it looked "elegant" u decided one day to trash ur apperarance and make ur breath smell. its a proven fact that kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. u see i kno all this stuff cus they teach it to us in school. well from where im from its trashy and almost everywhere else

Answer 9

Cigarettes are not glamorous at all to start with. You can never be glamorous puffing on something that is not only blackening your lungs which probably will cause you to die of some form of cancer but you are exposing other people to the dangers of it by smoking around them. If you are more concerned about manners, then why don't you try to show someone that you care about your health, your families health and respect the people around you and their health. Smoking is a dangerous and nasty habit that shows a flaw in your character, lack of self-restraint and disregard for personal health and the health of others around you. Start with that and you will find that people will be more apt to open doors for you and show a bit more courtesy. Wake up--this is not the 1950's!

Answer 10

There is nothing elegant about smoking, I bet a lot of your dates do not really want to light it for you, I think the responsible thing to do would be to tell you that it stinks, and that they do not like it, no matter how pretty your shiny metal case is. It will give you lung cancer or emphysema.

Answer 11

What decade are you living in?This is not a black and white movie where smoking is romantic( it is a nasty habit that kills). If your guy wants to light it for you than great but don't be upset if he says no(especially if he is a non-smoker). Long story short-light your own cigarette.