Religion & Spirituality (Society & Culture) - 18 November 2006

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Any Catholics up for a good joke?

If this offends you and I hope it doesn't, guess what? You have to forgive me! We are all the same and I hope you enjoy, Plz let me know, Thanks.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

2006-11-18 13:56:27 · 22 answers · asked by basscatcher 4

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is religion a fun category cause you dont gotta know nothing about nothing to have a concrete opinion?

2006-11-18 13:55:48 · 14 answers · asked by sean_mchugh6 3

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Did the Evangelical Church really gave Ted Haggard a generous severance package?

How could a church with so many followers allow that to happen? It would be bad enough to cover or deny the high leader sinning the way he did, but to reward him with a generous severance package? So what does that say about the Christian community?

2006-11-18 13:54:57 · 10 answers · asked by me_worry? 4

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Does soy milk come from tofu cows or tofu goats?

2006-11-18 13:54:52 · 7 answers · asked by THE CAT 2

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does any one know were i can get some acid LSD?

does any one know ?

2006-11-18 13:53:03 · 10 answers · asked by lops 2

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Just curious...pro-choice priest?

Ever known a catholic priest to be pro choice?

2006-11-18 13:53:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

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St Patricks cathedral in new york city??

is it liberal?

2006-11-18 13:52:14 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Do you think agnosticism is the only reasonable belief?

I do! What the theist must prove, the atheist must disprove, and since we have no evidence for or against, both theism and atheism are illogical!

2006-11-18 13:51:31 · 9 answers · asked by clamcrunchies2 2

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Do you believe history repeats itself?

If something has happened in the past, do you believe it will happen again?

Like not necessarily historical things... like anything.

2006-11-18 13:51:00 · 10 answers · asked by melissa 3

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if you were baptized when you were a baby but want to re experience it is that possible?

I dont want to switch religions or anything i just would like to be baptized again....can you do this? and how do you go about it?

2006-11-18 13:49:54 · 11 answers · asked by christine 3

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If you had the chance to ban religion would you?

2006-11-18 13:43:06 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Does the use of the Internet. ........ erase the excuse-- " But I never knew about you, Lord " ??

When facing responsibility for your sins on judgement day ?

How can we Christians, show love and understanding to our Atheist brothers and sisters ??

2006-11-18 13:43:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Voodoo in puzzle-adventure game - Is it harmful to play?

There is a puzzle adventure game I want to order to play, but it contains some of voodoo stuff such as tarot cards and ouija board. This game is mostly focused on puzzles, including sliders and memory games. It was rated the best one, so is it harmful to play this game because of voodoo?

2006-11-18 13:39:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Does the following quote indicate that Aristotle believed that there was a creator of evolution?

"There is something that moves the things that are in motion, and the first mover is itself unmoved". Aristotle.

I'm not sure if the quote is implying that there is a God behind the theory of evolution, but that's how I interpret it.

What do you think?

2006-11-18 13:38:41 · 13 answers · asked by ? 5

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I tried to follow community guidelines and it led me to McDonalds, should I order something?

2006-11-18 13:33:21 · 14 answers · asked by THE CAT 2

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What do you think is more likely? (in the far future of religon/god)?

1) all the religions will combine and finally agree on one religion, set of rules, values, morals,...ect

2) all the religions will fight to the death and the last one alive is the only religion

3) those who don't kill themselves in the above will turn atheist

4) thru more evolution, science, and education, everyone turns atheist

2006-11-18 13:31:19 · 19 answers · asked by TJ815 4

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why do religious people leave such long answers?

sheesh ...a simple question about abortion,homosexuality and pure lifestyle.....u narrowminded people are destined for a dissappointment when u die or jesus dont show up driving the bus to the promised land

2006-11-18 13:28:50 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Spiritual proof: If thought is electrical impulses in the brain, and the body is conductive to electricity....

then why is it not that we loose our train of thought and have to start all over again if we get wet or touch a grounded object?
If the body can receive electricity (as in an electric shock), then it is also true the body can release electricity just as easily. So if thought is truly electrical impulses, why are thoughts not grounded out?
If thoughts are not governed by the laws of electricity, then they are not electrical impulses in the brain, and then what? Are they spiritual as is, right now?

2006-11-18 13:26:18 · 11 answers · asked by ? 6

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If his mother was asked to call him Emmanual by Gods angel,why did she call him Jesus.?

I asked earlier did people still believe in the virgin birth,literally.I asked this because many earlier religions had the same story of virgin birth. Even in pharonic Egypt.Hatshepsut e.g.Are they all right or just the Christians. I get the feeling they adopted the idea,for what ever reason.

2006-11-18 13:26:16 · 6 answers · asked by sistablu...Maat 7

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Christians have you ever read one book on evolution??? unequivocally?

Be honest now.I don't mean to hurt your feelings,but Creationism is a myth.
Your church leaders devised this fallacy in order to perpetuate its own agenda.Think about it.Use logic for once.
How can man be created when evolution teaches us that the earth is millions of years old.Your bible leaders state unequivocally that the earth is only 10,000 years old.Someone is lying and its not evolution.
Ask your pastor why the earth is only 10,000 years old and why scientists agree that the earth is millions of years old.
Science does not lie.You cannot change facts.Christians this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the earth is millions of years old.Next time you see your leaders ask them.Ask them to explain this.Why would your fairytale state days and not millions of years?See what I'm getting at Christians.
Just because you disagree with me does not give you the right to post negative comments.I will report abuse as I see fit.

2006-11-18 13:25:06 · 40 answers · asked by ATHEIST FOR CHRISTIANITY BANNED 1

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Is God ever in human form?

2006-11-18 13:24:27 · 25 answers · asked by bbalhotshot 2

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Did you know that......?

According to the History of Joseph the Carpenter,which is a text in the New Testament Apochrypha.Joseph was aged 90 when he married the 12 year old Mary.
Can you think why they didn't want this part included in the bible?

2006-11-18 13:20:41 · 22 answers · asked by rosbif 6

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