I'm 36 yrs old, and I really want to have a father in my life. It's been so many years now, and even though my father abused me as a child, I still yearn for that connection. I don't know what it is, but maybe it's because he's the 'only' father I have, and I've tried to reach out to him, and he's feeling too guilty for what he's put me through, over the years, to reconnect with me. He sexually and mentally abused me, but I forgave him, years ago. I wanted him to have peace of mind, too, as I know this is why he is an alcoholic and a heavy drug user. He doesn't communicate with my kids (which might be a good thing), and it seems weird, but I won't allow my kids to get to know him because of what he did to me, BUT...I still want a 'father'....He doesn't even know my kids' names, or want anything to do with them!! UUughh..I don't know what's wrong with me. Do I need to just let him go? He still says hello, but that's the extent of it...I'm so confused right now!
2006-12-26
21:46:27
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16 answers
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asked by
argamedius
3
in
Marriage & Divorce