No sex,
2006-12-26 22:05:02 · 23 answers · asked by PURE PLEASURE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why would you throw away 30 years just because of sex? Try marriage counseling good luck
2006-12-26 22:26:01 · answer #1 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well big guy, judging from the other posts, I think I may be the only one here also at 30+ years married.
Given the onset of menopause her body is playing tricks with her mind. FIRST, get her to a doctor and get some hormone therapy going if indicated.
If this is not a physical lack of desire the hard discussions need to be had. The ones about being in your 50's but not dead yet.
It starts with her knowledge that this is unacceptable for continued marriage. That is the hardest one to get through. The one that says if things don't change for the better it will not woork for me. This has to go along with a concetrated effort to show her what you mean. It's time to be touching, back rubbing AND do you still kiss? I'm way serious with this one. When was the last time you guys took a walk in the woods and stopped and had a good long wet one? If she resists that it may be time to go.
As always the biggest erogenous zone is between the ears. You need to massage that first.
If you make sure that it is not physical and do some romancing of your own and things have not improved then you need to be prepared to move out for a couple weeks to deliver the big wake up call. Don't mess with other women while you are out either. This is for the wake up call not abandonment.
Number one is making sure she knows this transcends SEX.
I know its hard to put with the all you want is sex line from a cold woman. After a few years of that you begin to act that way. You have a lot invested with this situation and it would be a shame to throw in the towel now.
Give it one more try you might change her behavior.
I don't know if you had kids and they are gone but if you are empty nesters try being newlyweds again. You have a whole house of possibility.
2006-12-27 07:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a life long commitment. It takes two for something to be totally absent from a marriage. Spice things up on your end. Remember the good old fashioned french-kiss? When life's daily grind gets to you as a couple get away for a weekend and bring your favorite wine. Communicate your needs and they just may be met. If not, you chose this person as your life partner, but maybe you can open your marriage up for just the physical aspect, not emotional. Some couples can handle this and after 30 years there should be a level of trust that you can play on there.
2006-12-27 06:43:33 · answer #3 · answered by Jessalee01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might wanna see why there is no sex.. Move on after 30 years? There is more to a marriage than sex. Yes sex is important, but if one partner is having problems there is a reason and together you need to find out what that problem is.
Often happens during menopause, or for other physical reasons.. You stayed this long why leave now?
2006-12-27 06:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mommadog 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand why..But it just happens...Sex becomes less important...My Husband and I had a great sex life in the beginning of our relationship 8 years ago...Before we got married we spent more time together..But after we married it was hard to find the time since we both had jobs that kept us busy..And the daily routine of house work & cooking dinner and taking care of the kids (we have children from a previous marriage) left no time for for us,, not to mention sex....But we are still together...We are so busy to think about sex...But we go away for a weekend sometimes which helps...I've talk to others about this same topic..Always the same ....As you get older sex becomes less interesting.....
2006-12-27 06:14:49 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
If you're purely concerned about your marriage due to there being a lack of sex, then I suggest you try something different - do something you two have never done before. Be creative sexually.
If it's not only sex, talk with your spouse. Explain how you feel. Who knows: s/he could be feeling the exact same way. Maybe you two will work something out.
But, trust me, do something about it: keeping your feelings bottled in isn't healthy for BOTH you and your spouse; it'll only hurt your spouse in the long run if you keep your feelings to yourself.
Hope this helps!
2006-12-27 06:22:23 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and throw in the towel. You think the grass is greener on the other side DREAM ON. Have you talked with your wife of 30 years? Have you been romantic ? Court your wife again. She probably is missing the romance too. You want the romance of when you were 20 again. That is great but you have to give that to your wife to get it back
2006-12-27 08:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by springer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put your cards on the table and speak your peace, if she is refusing to give you want you want well? I would divorce for this purpose and move on. Not without any fair way of doing it.
It is hard being a women giving advice to man about sex. I bet you you feel very rejected at this time because I have done reading on this topic. I would move out if things could not be resolved, start living my own life and doing my own thing.
2006-12-27 06:23:26 · answer #8 · answered by Emily L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Thirty years of marriage ... seek out medical advice ... hormone replacement therapies perhaps. There has got to be a reason why ... have you looked into it? Are your actions part of the problem?
2006-12-27 06:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by AnswerGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you put the romance back in the marriage? It's just as much your responsibility as it is hers. Start loving your wife again and watch the sparks fly!
2006-12-27 10:03:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋