I'm a senior in high school and for most of my time in school I've wanted to be friends with this one group in particular but I always felt held back. Mianly because I felt obligated to be friends with people who kind of attached to me and wouldn't really have any friends if it weren't for me. But anyway they all seem to have moved away or lost interest in me so at the end of last year I decided that the next year I would not worry about it so much, that I would try not to feel guilty because I had been held back for so many years and figured its senior year I should try to enjoy it as much as I can and make up for lost time. But anyway, I'm so shy that even though they seemed to be very friendly and seemed to give me an opening to be friends with them, I couldn't do it and nothing ever came of it. I tried getting a myspace to talk with them over the internet to show that I wanted to open up a little and stay in touch but i couldn't take the stress and got rid of it, I think upsetting them a little in the process, they were happy I got one. I recently got it back, but the stress is just killing me again and I think I'm getting rid of it again soon. Anyway, the last few months nothing really happened with this group A, but then another girl i like from group B worked on a project with me and one day asked me to sit at lunch with them for one day. I did for the one day but didn't want to look like I had chosen one group over the other because group A has been equally inviting over the years, so I just stopped going to lunch. This has complicated things so much and I just feel trapped. It's made my depression a lot worse, and lately, where I used to try to mingle in groups, I just sit by myself and don't talk, and I'm probably ruining my chances of having friends, but it's gotten to the point where I can't honestly say I care if I'm friends with them sometimes, but other times it just kills me, like when I see pictures of them together and think of what I could've had it makes me so depressed. I'm just getting ready to give up on the whole thing, since I only have a few months to go. Do you think I should do that?
2006-12-25
04:01:59
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14 answers
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asked by
leena
4
in
Friends