my husband told me he has wanted to go out with another women for almost a year, and would if we divorced. but he never told her or acted on it, that him wanting her sexually is nothing more than a fantasy like he has for pamela anderson. do i have the right to feel betrayed, or am i overly sensitive? he is in a class with this person twice a week, it was obvious to me he liked her by the way he acted around her and the way he was treating me. he says he would never cheat on me, but if you think about it would you not do it?
2006-12-25 03:57:42 · 15 answers · asked by chopperdome 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just realize that if the chance comes he WILL cheat, and probably not JUST with her... hes not that into you, and thats sad! i suggest counselling!
2006-12-25 04:00:29 · answer #1 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so I can't believe that you are asking what to do. It seems crystal clear to me. As far as it cheating? Absolutely. If you are a christian, read about what God says about that topic in the Bible.
I don't believe that men are that way by nature. I think it is a character thing more than a nature thing. I believe that because I know more good men than bad in my life and I KNOW they are not that way. I think our society has tried to convince us that men are 'just that way' and there is nothing that we nor they can do about it. It's not true. Men and women alike choose how to think and behave. We all decide and then based on that decision ttake action or not.
My ex-husband was the exception to the statement I made earlier. He CHOSE to behave the way he did and embraced his behavior and addictions rather than his family and marriage and allowed me to walk out rather than change the way he decided to live his life. I will NEVER believe that men are pigs by nature, and neither should you. God didn't create them that way. If we were created in God's image, doesn't it make sense that if God is perfect, shouldn't we aspire to the one that we were created by?
And if the theory is that men are pigs, so is God, and that is not true at all. If a man would talk about it and think about it, he has pretty much decided that it is an option in his life. Take it from one who knows firsthand.
Get your ducks in a row and let him know that you will not tolerate any further abuse this way and if he continues to talk about wanting to sleep with someone other than you, you will leave and take the kids and his life as he knows it will forever change.
Be strong, girl!! You can do it. GL
2006-12-25 04:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's already cheating on you. I've been in that situation and believe me i NEVER considered telling my old lady, either as a way to prevent myself from going there or just to avoid any surprises when she was around that other woman. what type of relationship do you two have in the first place that he can comfortably tell you that and you know of his feelings for her but are OK with it otherwise; sounds as though as if you like the idea of it somewhat.
2006-12-25 04:05:47 · answer #3 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but if he has told you that if you were to divorce that he would go out with her, I do not think that him being married is going to stop him in the future. Obviously this is something that he has thought of and it is not just a fantasy to him.
2006-12-25 04:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by mydds07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus said, But I say to YOU that everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. There's no grounds for divorce but if he lingers long enough on this passion he will eventually give in. You may have to work at filling his heart with the desire of having you. Try reminding him of how it was when you two were courting.
2006-12-25 04:26:43 · answer #5 · answered by papa G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personaly i would not cheat. thinking about doing it and acting on that thought is different. its like thinking about cooking dinner and ordering out instead. you may be over acting, EVERY man thinks of another women from time to time. Have you not thought of being with another man? When things get tough it may be easier for him to excape into a fantasy. Try to act out his fantasys and you may find out that the (girl in class) may fade to nuthing and his attentions will once again be one you.
2006-12-25 04:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by Benny's girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not exactly like Pam Anderson, this woman he knows, and he has been wanting her, and eventually will go for it, he treated u different due to her, i know happened to me, no u are not overly sensitive, your hubby lusts after a real life person he knows. eventually he will act on his fantasy. yes out of your words becomes what u do. if u think it eventually u will do it, it is already in his heart.
2006-12-25 04:12:34 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's one thing to feel this way but it's an entirely different thing to act on it. If he does act on it, he can bet he will be divorced and you'll take him for everything he's got.
2006-12-25 04:11:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be worried if he confesses desire of other women within your marriage. There is something wrong with his faith in this marriage. If he was happily married and was faithful, he woldn't have thoughts like that about other women, especiall since he's married.
2006-12-25 04:05:16 · answer #9 · answered by Nas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thinking about it ain't cheating... The fact that he told you and didn't act on it shows he has some class...
At least he is being honest... And therefore you should be happy to have such an honest husband who ain't slime...
Are you interested in her??? See about a 3sum... :D That should make his year... ;)
2006-12-25 04:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to give him credit for his honesty. I believe you would have more reason to worry if he did not tell you. Anyway, I would not label his behavior as "cheating," but it does not appear that all of his love and affections are for you. I would suggest you continue to let him know how you feel to see if he will voluntarily remove himself from these sort of temptations.
2006-12-25 04:08:21 · answer #11 · answered by curiousJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋