After three crop failures in a row farmer Jones could not pay his loan at the bank. "Give me one more chance he pleaded. Don't take my farm, we'll be broke and homeless."
The bank manager comes up with an idea. "OK, one more chance but not with crops. No one fails at pig farming so we'll finance the purchase of five sows to start you off. Your neighbor down the road has a boar pig and you'll have to take your sows to him so the boar can service them. In a few months you should have a bunch of little piglets all ready for market.
Farmer Jones collects the five sows, loads them into his pickup truck, drives to his neighbor and unloads the five sows into the boar's pen. They then go back to the farm house and have a couple of beers.
When enough time has passed they go back to the boar's pen and load five happy sows into the pickup. Farmer Jones asks, "What if it didn't take?"
"That never happens with my boar," replies the neighbor.
"But how can I tell for sure?"
"Look, tomorrow morning observe your sows. If they're rolling in the mud, it took, if they're on the grass, call me."
The following morning farmer Jones observed his sows strolling on the grass. He calls his neighbor who instructs him to bring them back. He rounds them up, loads them into the pickup and drives to the boar's pen where the whole process is repeated.
Unlucky farmer Jones has to load them in the pickup and take them back four times. On the fifth morning he is so worried he can't look. He stalls for half an hour then asks his wife to look. "I hope they're not on the grass, dear."
"Well they're not," says his wife.
"Oh finally, then they're rolling in the mud!" exclaimed the farmer.
"No..."
"Well what are those fool sows doing?
"Well, four are trying to climb into the pickup and the fifth managed to climb into the cab and is trying to honk the horn!!!"
2007-12-01 20:29:07 · 21 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles
I am 21, senior in college, and I am not going to drink anymore. All of my close group of friends drink. I can go to bars and not drink, but what else can I do instead of that? (Not anything that necessarily includes my friends, but what can I do)
2007-12-01 20:28:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mental Health
2007-12-01 20:27:26 · 16 answers · asked by Reggie M 2 in Singles & Dating
2007-12-01 20:26:40 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
Best answer 10 points!
2007-12-01 20:26:34 · 16 answers · asked by ↓ ♥мǝow♥ ↑ 6 in Polls & Surveys
2007-12-01 20:26:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Economics
2007-12-01 20:25:50 · 12 answers · asked by Wicked88 1 in Religion & Spirituality
Ever notice these demons can hide in Britney's bushes, snap pictures of a celebrity naked in the home, stalk Beyonce & Michael Jackson, block Will & Jada as virtual prisoners as they try to get out their driveway, chase down Princess Di, causing her death (snapping pics of her bloody, taking her last breath [not calling 911]), side-swipe Lindsay Lohan's car in a high-speed chase to get her pic (causing her to have an accident), & a host of other roguish-a** crimes ... & get away with it? Notice, if the celebrity dares to spit in the clown's face or grab the camera & throw it out the window, that celebrity is villanized & pressured to apologize!
How many think BUSH can shoot 'em in COLD BLOOD if he spots 'em in his bushes / peeking at LAURA through the window & get away with it?
Don't even MENTION what the SECRET SERVICE can get away with in the name of NATIONAL SECURITY!! Pretty certain they can make 'em disappear ... don't bother looking in a dumpster OR down a shark's belly!!
2007-12-01 20:25:18 · 13 answers · asked by Jewels 7 in Law & Ethics
Why does it use "in", rather than "as"? Because, to say "in" the image of God would imply that there is already an image, and that man is being created within it, or that man is the picture/image, which is defined as a representation of something, of God? Are humans representations of God, or something else? This is not only a Christian or Jewish question.
2007-12-01 20:25:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
...what would be your wish tonite?
2007-12-01 20:24:40 · 21 answers · asked by Skatermomof5 7 in Polls & Surveys
I have learned that religious people even though they believe in "heaven" have a great fear of death that atheists and agnostics don't seem to share. Why is this?
2007-12-01 20:24:31 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
how about how fast planets move across the night sky compared to the amount of time a star moves the same distance? (examples on earth will help) thanks guys
2007-12-01 20:24:13 · 8 answers · asked by slam_ups2004 1 in Astronomy & Space
RU ?
2007-12-01 20:23:47 · 16 answers · asked by bsb s 1 in Religion & Spirituality
Since last christmas I changed my printer from a Canon to HP deskjet, all was OK last year. The label sheets print OK but don't line up with the template. The label maker DECAdry provide a template for the labels the file for which is held in an Avery wizard inserted in Word 2000 which also contains the label details. I have checked template in the tools menu and it seems OK. It isn't just the top spacing, label spacing is wrong too.Can anyone help as I have a few hundred cards to get out next week?
2007-12-01 20:23:32 · 1 answers · asked by jerry_davis71 1 in Printers
look outside...and you will see me naked...
2007-12-01 20:22:53 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
Am I just becoming out of control? When people first meet me everyone walks away with the "comedian" impression. I made them laugh the whole time. But than I feel I'm never as funny as my first time, or as "cool". I'm still funny, just not as funny. Than I shut out people who seem like they dont care for other people. They're self-centered so to speak. Also I'm married.... my poor husband. I havent been burnt too bad by men; never caught one cheating on me, but always have assumed they would. No ex has ever dared laid a hand on me. I'd just dump most of them after a cpl mo after boredom. Kept a cpl but it was always the possesive type. My husband is not a jealous man, hasnt ever cheated on a g/f he was the one always gettin screwed over, he's funny and tries really hard to make me happy. But daily i think HE'S CHEATING ON ME when there is not one hint he might be. I feel like I'm going to drive him away. I loose my temper constantly over sometimes little things... what is my deal?
2007-12-01 20:21:39 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mental Health
2007-12-01 20:20:48 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Hunting
So I was trying to impress a girl the other day with my chinese throwing stars.... and I was trying to throw all 5 of them into the tree... well my first one missed the tree and jammed it's self into the neck of my neighbors cat (it ran off somewhere and I haven't seen it at all today).
My second star I threw missed completely and stuck into my other neighbors dog rib cage....
Now she thinks I'm an idiot... what do you think?
2007-12-01 20:20:46 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
A human shaped being with one Feathered wing (Angel like) and one Demon wing. mainly apear to be female.
any Ideas?
2007-12-01 20:20:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
2007-12-01 20:20:19 · 6 answers · asked by Nicole Nathalie Laranang 1 in Celebrities
2007-12-01 20:19:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
This teacher has been accused of insulting Islam by letting her pupils name a Teddy Bear Mohammed, and is in jail for her pains. And we see these Muslim extremists ranting and waving knives and machetes with the words that she should be executed for her so called insults. This has made me so angry and i wonder why it is the case that our government has sent two Muslim peers to resolve the matter. It's made us look third rate going cap in hand this way, and that the Sudanese government are making us a laughing stock. Surely we should have sent the most senior British politician who deals in Foreign affairs and that is David Milliband and a full delegation, banging on their door telling them release her now, laying down the law.
Why are we putting up with these tin pot regimes, giving them aid, and helping them out when all they seem to do is cocking a snook at us, i can see this situation happening again and again. Pull all British Nationals out and no more aid, end of story.
2007-12-01 20:18:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Current Events
2007-12-01 20:18:35 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
2007-12-01 20:18:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Insurance & Registration
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
2007-12-01 20:17:02 · 18 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles
2007-12-01 20:16:58 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Small Business
My partner and I have set up a local community magazine, we have been using a point and shoot digital camera, but feel that we now need to upgrade to a slr. We have no professional training in photography, so have limited knowlege on the subject. I have searched the internet for different reviews, but just seem to drown in information. Please can someone offer advice, please!!!!!
2007-12-01 20:16:39 · 5 answers · asked by louise w 1 in Photography
I know mine are, what about yours?
2007-12-01 20:16:14 · 15 answers · asked by Arts 6 in Polls & Surveys
Well most guys wont get this i dont think well anyway, i have been looking to the past alot and thinking about my last girlfriend and it has been like 3 months since we broke up and i dont know what to do. I feel like crap and i dont know if its that i have too much time on my hands or i still care for her but i am so confused and i cant stop regreting things that i did. I know i need to let it go but i cant for some reason and i dont know what to do! Help please, if you can give me any advise i would be very happy to hear it!
2007-12-01 20:16:06 · 15 answers · asked by Brooke 4 in Singles & Dating
2007-12-01 20:15:29 · 24 answers · asked by ya mom 6000 1 in Other - Food & Drink
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