All categories - 25 November 2007

There's a man with a bald head and a wooden leg who has been invited to a fancy dress party.

Now he is very nervous about his looks so he emails a fancy hire company and they send him a parcel with a note saying:

"We are pleased to send you this pirates costume, with your wooden leg it is the ideal choice."

The man is incensed at this and writes off an angry response saying the last thing he wants is attention drawn to his wooden leg.

So duly arrives another parcel with a note which says:

"Dear sir, we are sorry to have caused offence, please find enclosed a monks habit. This will hide your wooden leg, and your bald head will just be right for the look."

Our man gets fizzing at this too and he writes off with a strong rebuke for being so insensitive as to suggest he makes a parade of his baldness.

A couple of days go by and another parced arrives with a note which says:

"Dear baldy, please find enclosed a jar of mollasses. Pour this over your nut, stick your wooden leg up yer bum and go as a toffee apple."

2007-11-25 07:49:04 · 13 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

Windy here

2007-11-25 07:49:00 · 9 answers · asked by What 5 in Polls & Surveys

Thanx for your help

2007-11-25 07:48:53 · 19 answers · asked by -)-(- 6 in Other - Health

And if so, what would be the religious ramifications of such a psychological construct? Any thoughtful answer welcomed.

2007-11-25 07:48:40 · 11 answers · asked by ? 6 in Religion & Spirituality

2007-11-25 07:48:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

The alternator and voltage regulator are only 3 months old. The battery only six months old. I took the battery to get tested and it showed it was fine so they charged it. i didnt leave the lights on or anything like that. it is an older car who doesnt like the wet rainy weather we have been having. Do you think it will make it for a few days til i can get it to the garage?

2007-11-25 07:48:34 · 13 answers · asked by hannahj0305 2 in Maintenance & Repairs

im trying to stick close to america

2007-11-25 07:48:24 · 1 answers · asked by matt 1 in Other - United States

Hey! Anyone out there know if there are expansion packs for stronghold legends the pc game? If you know can you please tell me the name of them. The person who knows the most will be voted best!

2007-11-25 07:48:23 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Video & Online Games

I'm 14 on top and 16 at the bottom

But don't assume I'm fat.

2007-11-25 07:48:17 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I'm a single mother of 2 childen what a my chances of finding a man who will date me due to my children I'm good looking

2007-11-25 07:48:17 · 10 answers · asked by kenya 1 in Marriage & Divorce

what outcome would we expect to see from the elctoral college if Ron Paul should come close to winning ?

How do you think that will work out ?

I am voting Ron Paul and just curious what the possibilities are ...

2007-11-25 07:48:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Elections

ok I have seen this Picture of this Women whos husband die In iraq and she spent the nite beside his coffen and there was a marine that was standing post all nite as she slept on the floor.

2007-11-25 07:48:12 · 4 answers · asked by jen 1 in Military

one for you?i want to know How old is too old?my husband says i am to old to still be drinking a beer or two?my question is how old is to old to drink? i know a silly question.he says i look like a old fool when i drink to much.opinions please

2007-11-25 07:47:56 · 30 answers · asked by alcaholicdemon 7 in Senior Citizens

I have honey one already but I seen girls wearing others that look green or very exotic!!!

2007-11-25 07:47:45 · 10 answers · asked by Ursula M 2 in Optical

2007-11-25 07:47:44 · 34 answers · asked by airforce#1babe 1 in Singles & Dating

2007-11-25 07:47:42 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Europe

2007-11-25 07:47:35 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

anyone ride on cannondale leftys? they dont look stable to me with one side, how do they ride?

2007-11-25 07:47:33 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cycling

what did you do?

2007-11-25 07:47:26 · 34 answers · asked by tulip 4 in Friends

2007-11-25 07:47:20 · 15 answers · asked by chiefsfan45 1 in Chicago

I know this is a gross question but I was just curious. I once heard that the healthy color of urine is clear, because that means you have been drinking a lot of water, whereas if its real yellow then you've been drinking too much soda. Is that even true?

2007-11-25 07:47:17 · 10 answers · asked by designer K 4 in Other - Health

2007-11-25 07:47:07 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i am writting a story about a maid , who when her boss goes out she starts wearing all her bosses clothes... a salesmen comes... what does she do???
OR
what can a maid does a maid do when her boss is not there??

2007-11-25 07:47:05 · 1 answers · asked by Elizabeth R 2 in Other - Society & Culture

What do I need when I put my toilet back down so it won't leak now that my toilet is 3/4 of an inch higher?

2007-11-25 07:46:49 · 5 answers · asked by gravedigger23225 2 in Do It Yourself (DIY)

Is it where you have settled on your own, or is it (if you have moved away), still your parents home? : )

2007-11-25 07:46:47 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I just got divorced. I'm 26..he's 30..never been married. We've been talking not quite a month. He says he wants to be fwb & see where it goes. He said he knows we have to be careful since I just got divorced. We've hooked up twice. We've been talking &/or texting everyday. He's told me a couple of times that he misses me. He's gotten to where he doesn't text as often....& he hardly ever calls anymore...we just talk thru text. I told him yesterday that if he didn't have plans or anything we could do something & he said that he feels like he's getting sick. I know he could be telling the truth....but he could also be lying. I haven't heard from him since last night. He has told me before that he doesn't want to scare me or fall for me too fast but that he thinks of me alot. I told him I don't want either one of us to get hurt. I don't know what to think at this point though...I feel like I'm out in limbo here & I don't really like it. What do you guys think?

2007-11-25 07:46:37 · 7 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Marriage & Divorce

2007-11-25 07:46:17 · 66 answers · asked by Gnasher 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-25 07:46:13 · 22 answers · asked by starcharlieblue 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-25 07:46:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys