All categories - 23 November 2007

Each man gives a story
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

2007-11-23 12:36:43 · 21 answers · asked by omeng90 3 in Jokes & Riddles

i have two dogs. a medium sized mix breed and a small red Jack Russell terrier. i let them outside and then a lil while after they came back in they started acting extremely afraid.

they're shaking uncontrollably and panting like they've been running a lot.

my smaller dog seems to want to be very close to me.

any ideas of what's wrong with them?

2007-11-23 12:36:37 · 25 answers · asked by mae 3 in Dogs

http://s182.photobucket.com/albums/x84/Caribbeanbabe101/?action=view¤t=lILYANDMEGOOFINGAROUND016-1.jpg

http://s182.photobucket.com/albums/x84/Caribbeanbabe101/?action=view¤t=Thegamesplanmoviewithamandaandme-1.jpg

http://s182.photobucket.com/albums/x84/Caribbeanbabe101/?action=view¤t=Karolinaandlilyphotos2007011.jpg

Is she pretty? Say why andwhat she can fix. thanksss :]

2007-11-23 12:36:34 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i am dating this guy that i really really like
and he treats me like a princess and i just
love being around him. the only problem is
that my best friend hates him. we have dated
before and last time we broke up, it was
really bad and she was the person who was
comforting me through all of the problems.
he has changed so much since then and i
want to prove to her that he is worth my time.
she won't give him a chance or the time of day.
what do i do?? i love my friend but i also
love my bf.

2007-11-23 12:36:19 · 11 answers · asked by kayla 3 in Singles & Dating

I closed my home 12/03 and did not get any statement for association fee until now. When I called the HOA in the past, they mentioned that our house has not turned over to them yet which means the builder was supposed to take care of association fees. Now my builder filed chapter 11 bankruptcy, HOA is billing us 3 yrs worth of association fees. In this case, am I liable to pay the whole amount? Something is fishy. It can not slip HOA's radar for 3 yrs. On top of that HOA is charging us late fees! It's obvious that HOA trying to scrape as much as money they can from me. I'm more than willing to pay any portion I'm legally liable for. Any expert in this field, please chime in.

Thank you in advance.

2007-11-23 12:36:14 · 1 answers · asked by E H 1 in Renting & Real Estate

i do!

2007-11-23 12:36:13 · 22 answers · asked by ♪ ♫ AvA ♪ ♫ 5 in Polls & Surveys

last night i had dream that Jesus was laying on the sidewalk and he was hurt very badly
and no one was helping just walkin past him like nothing was there, i was the only one who help him

2007-11-23 12:35:49 · 7 answers · asked by through God's eyes we all lo 1 in Mythology & Folklore

i want to keep my sister from barging in to my bedroom when im sleeping.

go any ideas how to make one homemade or a good cheap on i could buy at a local hardware store or sometin

THANKS

2007-11-23 12:35:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Do It Yourself (DIY)

I love Christmas Story, Charlie Brown Christmas and Walton's Christmas..Last but not least is "It's a wonderful life"

2007-11-23 12:35:12 · 34 answers · asked by *DestinyPrince* 6 in Christmas

2007-11-23 12:35:00 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I missed this weeks Americas Next Top Model..! Who got voted off in China?

2007-11-23 12:34:52 · 9 answers · asked by Ladels Mommy! 3 in Reality Television

Why can't they accept that any opinion on illleggal immmigrants other than that they're such great people without whom the United States would fail, is raycist and Neo-Nazzi?

Are they just trying to play mind games, or are they really that cluless that they can't see how its possible to not be raycist and yet want to see the illleggals gone?

Some words were intentionally missspelled in this topic, because of the libberal Orwellian Yahoo censors.

2007-11-23 12:34:49 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Immigration

Lets say you served 6 months for satutory rape, failed to register for 7 years , Got put on house arrest for not registering and then immediatly got a D.U.I.

Would you go to prison

2007-11-23 12:34:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Law Enforcement & Police

Fish was caught off the shore of North Carolina's Outer Banks and was cleaned/fillet and flash frozen that day.

2007-11-23 12:34:25 · 8 answers · asked by Joe D 1 in Fishing

2007-11-23 12:34:22 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-23 12:34:18 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Decorating & Remodeling

i did i was up until 4 the night before

2007-11-23 12:34:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

lets say you were at the movies or the mall or something, and you saw a girl with purple tights on, black flats, dark denim shorts, and a black t-shirt? would you think they were crazy, or would you fall in love with their outfit? lolz... ;)

2007-11-23 12:33:57 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I feel as if I have been doing things wrong in my life. I think it might be because I am a little paranoid about things. For instance, if I'm talking to a friend and thy act even the tiniest bit weird I think that they hate me or something. Also, I have no confidence or self-belief what so ever. I think that I'm at the bottom of a pit and I can't get out. I feel that if I told my best friend, the person i trust the most, about my problems he would hate me forever. As well as this, my best friend is moving far, far away. I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle when he moves. The thing is, i have moved around so much - i never stayed in a place for longer than 3 years at the most. However, i have stayed in this location for just over 7 years, and have built up a really good friendship. I just dont want to lose that. Also, because of my lack of self-confidence, i dont have the courage to ask any of my friends to do anything with me (go and hang out and stuff). Can someone help?

2007-11-23 12:33:53 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

And Bush supporters shun her?

2007-11-23 12:33:46 · 15 answers · asked by Chi Guy 5 in Politics

2007-11-23 12:33:32 · 7 answers · asked by ωнєη уσυ ѕмιℓє уσυ мαкє мє ѕмιℓє 7 in Polls & Surveys

I need some sujections from people who have played both wii and plastaion 3. i have xbox 360 and xbox live. i like playstation 3 but im afraid that playstion 3 is goin to be to much like xbox360. I also like the wii but it might be to kidish for me so plese give me some sujestions from expirence of plying the two sytems.

2007-11-23 12:33:26 · 5 answers · asked by PLATT 1 in PlayStation

Recently, i've been forgetting to pray at night.
I go to church on Wensdays. Though i don't really have that want to go, as much as i used too.
I can't go on Sunday's, if i could i probably would.
Just today i asked my mom "How do we know if there is a God?"
She said, "The Bible."
Then i said "Its a book."
I didn't mean it how it sounded. Yes its a book, filled with truths and God's wants, but i didn't mean "Its just a silly old book!"
I feel I'm losing touch with God.
How do i regain my relationship with him? The one i had not too long ago?

T.M.

2007-11-23 12:33:10 · 20 answers · asked by T.M. 6 in Religion & Spirituality

Which of the following is a property of acid solutions?
a. sour taste c. change red litmus to blue
b. slippery feel d. more than one response is correct

2007-11-23 12:33:01 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Chemistry

Matthew 12:40 says..."For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth."

So not being a mathematician by any means, but able to count to three, if jesus died on a Friday and he spent 3 nights in the tomb, that would put him as resurrecting on a Monday.

Catholics, can you help me out here? I put this question out earlier and did not receive any good answers. St. Francis of Assisi tried, but he lost count at 2.

2007-11-23 12:32:52 · 18 answers · asked by timbers 5 in Religion & Spirituality

2007-11-23 12:32:44 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

We have an upstairs toilet that works fine, but the water in the bowl is very low when not in use. The water rises to a normal level when flushed, but it doesn't fill back up completely afterward, an air bubble comes up when the handle is pressed. My husband would like to fix it himself. What's the problem and what can he do to fix it?

2007-11-23 12:32:41 · 11 answers · asked by Shannon M 4 in Maintenance & Repairs

My neighbor just put a sweater on his dog.
I think it looks funny..
I dont think i could humiliate my dog like that, that is if I had one.

2007-11-23 12:32:40 · 15 answers · asked by Dr. VanNostrand 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-23 12:32:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating