Ok im going to write what i wrote in my blog for the people who cant see it (question at the end)
I'm so scared and alone, last night i was one Y!A and i was just about to get off and i got so scared, i cant explain. Like the only light was coming from my laptop and i got so scared like someone was watching me or something big was about to happen like i was going to die. I dont know what got into me i was curled up in my corner crying, i didnt know what was happening. The only time i came close to feeling like that was about 4 days before i saw someone in their car tumble down a hill. But this time its stronger, i got so scared. I'm so afraid that im going to die or someone is going to get injured badly or anything like that! I'm afraid to get into my car, im afraid to go outside. whatever it is thats going to happen i dont want to witness it this time!!! i KNOW something bad is going to happen. Its weird i'll like go through stages or phases or whatever, like I'll be deathly afraid its going to happen then and there and then like 10 minutes later nothing happens and i get over it, then im afraid again later. I DONT CARE IF I SOUND CRAZY!!! im afraid, im alone i dont know know what to do. I dont need therapy im not depressed i dont have any mental conditions. i just dont know whats happening. I'm so afraid, i feel like something BIG is going to happen.
Last night when i was trying to fall asleep i was listening to my chemical romance songs on lime-wire and then like out of no where it started skipping around then it stopped then it played one lyrics from "sunsets over monroeville" and that lyrics said "if you're already dead" from the line that says "but would anything matter if you're already dead?" then it stopped playing completely. thats when i got real scared again . then i feel asleep
when i woke up i felt better, and i wanted to share with you guys. so if i go through my phases when im so afraid, and it talk to one of you and i sound suicidally or something i just wanted to let you know ahead of time so you guys might know what to say.
<3-Kay
2007-08-08
08:59:15
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