A man in a bar catches the bartender's attention and presents the following wager: "I'll bet you $20 I can bite my right eyeball." The bartender, who is keen to see this, agrees to the bet. The patron pulls his glass eye out and bites it. "Well, you got me" says the bartender, and heads to the till. "Wait," says the patron, "I'll give you a chance to get your money back. I'll bet you double or nothing I can bite my left eyeball." The bartender, thinking that the patron can't have two glass eyes, agrees to this. Whereupon the patron pulls out his dentures, and clasps them to his left eye. "All right," growls the bartender, "fool me twice..." Again, he heads for the cash register and again the patron stops him.
"Once more, double or nothing -- $80 says I take a piss from right here -- and fill that glass at the end of the bar without spilling a drop." This gives the bartender pause. The bar is about 20 feet long. 'No way' he thinks, and agrees to the wager. The patron proceeds to pull out his choad and piss with great force. Urine flies everywhere -- on the floor, on the bar, behind the bar, on other customers. The glass at the end of the bar remains dry. "BUWAHAHAHA!" bawls the bartender. "Lookit that -- not one drop in the glass! $80 -- pay up!" "That's alright," replies the patron. "I bet this other feller here $300 that I could piss all over your bar and you'd laugh at it."
...............
Rodney walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy here."
The bartender says, "You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?"
Rodney says, "Oh, I want them both now. I've got my best buddy in my pocket here." With that he pulls out a little 3 inch man from hispocket.
The bartender says, "Wow! And you mean to say he can drink that much?" "Oh, sure. He can drink it all, and then some," the man retorted. So the bartender poured the two shots.
Sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing," says the bartender. "What else can he do? Can he walk?" Rodney flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Al,go fetch that quarter." The little guy runs down to the end of
carlos agassi: the bar, picks up the quarter, and runs back down and gives it to Rodney.
The bartender is totally amazed by this display. "That's amazing," he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"
Rodney looks up at the bartender with a look of surprise in his eye and squawks, "Talk? Sure he talks. Hey Al, tell him about that time we were in down in Africa on safari and you insulted that witch doctor!"
2007-06-30
04:19:38
·
4 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles