We use to fight like crazy but I imagine most newly wed couples do. Our marriage use to be so hot and cold. We would have frequent fights, sometimes really big fights but when we didn't fight were so unbelieveably amazing together. It made it all well worth the bad times. It's been a little more than a year and a half of being married now and the arguments are really starting to die down. We're learning from eachother and have a better idea of where eachother is coming from. He left for Iraq Saturday and I came across his yahoo answers account yesterday. I thought it was the coolest with me being so disconnected from his life while he's in Iraq. There were some questions that made me laugh like I do when I'm with him. It made me feel closer to him.
Then yesterday I came across alot of mean questions about me on his yahoo answers account. Some of his stories on here about me are so distorted that I know he did it intentionally. The question that hurt the most was about a miscarriage we had. He said that I was more light about the baby part of the situation which is true. We were less than 2 months pregnant when it happened and I didn't feel a connection. It never felt like a real baby inside of me and it's just easier for me to not think about the person he or she would have grown up to become.
Then he quotes me to have said "get over it and stop being a baby" about the miscarriage and asks everyone if he's being a baby or if his wife is just "crazy". That's a horrible thing to say and I never said it. I do admit I've said some pretty mean things to him in the past like I want a divorce when I'm emotional (not just when I'm pregnant) but he's done similar things. We both have things to work on.
But why would he create such a big lie about something so long ago?
and then he chose a girl that pretty much said he's too good for me to be his best answer.
You can check his questions to see his side of the story but if you care, this is what really happened:
I've never said "you're a big baby and get over it". I'm pretty hurt he said that. During the first miscarriage my doctor was concerned that I had a tubal pregnancy or something else severely wrong with me. They said that I might have to have surgery. Ben looked really sad but he was only sad about the baby. I tried so hard to cheer him up while I was also sad about the baby and worried about my health. At that time we knew that the baby wasn't going to happen but did not yet know about my well being. He was so stuck on the baby and never once showed his concern for me. Instead he got angry at me for not being sad enough about the baby. Why would you try to make someone that is already so sad in that type of situation even more sad? I was going through a hard enough time as it was. Husbands are suppose to be supportive and make situations like that easier to deal with but he made it worse. When I brought up his lack of concern for me it would turn into a big argument because he was mad at me for not being sad enough about the baby. I was in tears but he didn't care because I "didn't care enough about the baby". I just have a different view on it. I try not to think of the person he/she would have grown up to become because it makes me sad. I figure god has a plan and I'd rather think of it as a really bad period because that's what I would have thought if I hadn't had a positive pregnancy test. You (everyone who wrote mean comments about me or thinks so little of me) can't tell me the baby has or hasn't a soul. That depends on your beliefs and you can't push your beliefs on people who don't want them. I don't know what I believe in. I go back and forth but it's just easier for me to think miscarriages are for a reason, that we would have otherwise had a very misfortunate baby and if I'm wrong I don't have to be sad while I'm on earth and I'll see him in heaven.
I'm looking for constructive feedback so don't trash on my hubby! There are so many good things about him you don't know about.
2006-09-14
15:45:36
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13 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Marriage & Divorce