Anyone have a simliar situation.what came of it? Honestly i find my wife more a friend than a lover (as she has no sexual spark). This other one she's a spark and her husband is the same all the time (when they do it, which is rarely), and i feel we're both wanting more sexually for our lives and its not coming from home. She's catholic and has that guilt that goes along with it. But she still gives off that vibe. I'm so tempted. What would yo do?
2006-09-14 15:46:54 · 19 answers · asked by TipsyMcStagger 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I already like the feedback. I have tried to spark her (my wife sexually), its honestly just not in her. I have asked about her thoughts and what she would like,so she bought a book on sexual encounters (you know the ones that you ripe out a page and act it out) she' never done one. I attempted one. Lite the candles, drew a bath, i was suppose to go from back massge to shifting her so the "wee man in the boat" was under the pouring water. She didn't go gracefully and blew it. It's just frustrating, I love and care for her she is a great wife in all other aspects just not sexually. I hate to sound like a typical male but it bothers me when I have tried and no results. If this thing doesn't go through with the c/w (it more than likely won't), I'd still maybe look elsewhere. Am I still wrong? Am I sellfish?
2006-09-14 16:15:52 · update #1
I think I would like to say that Im the dumb one who thinks that there's that special someone out there that is your best friend as well as your sexual BLAZE. If you didnt find it, you shouldnt have married anything BUT it. Now that you arent TOTALLY satisfied in your marriage, maybe it shouldnt continue?
Im all for people being HAPPY in marriage.. not continuing it for "the kids" or to "not throw away 18 years.."
honestly.. we should be HAPPY in life, for as long as we have life.
NOW, to my personal experience..
my "father of only child" left me when my daughter was one month old for his previous relation of three years. it lasted all of a month, then realized that it wasnt meant to be with her. i accepted him back. although he didnt "cheat" on me, i still felt betrayed and unsatisfactory. this never really left my attitude. i was resentful.. angry.. jealous.. EVERYTHING for a LONG time. it wasnt worth it and still isnt. i want to put all that energy into someone i can trust and love with all my heart.
lately, he had a crush on a girl from work. i have wanted to be done with him for quite some time but he wouldnt GO. finally, due to his interest, he did leave, and i was free. he came back after a month or so of NON communication CRYING to get back together, but didnt spare me the details of all of what they had experienced.. which was walks in the parks.. fireworks.. camping.. EVERYTHING i had been BEGGING to do for quite some time, he did with that girl. funny enough though, she was narotic and he didnt end up wanting her in the end (or so he says).
we do have a child together.. and i do love him. he has TOTALLY changed his ways and literally has done a 180, but do you think i can trust him?
Do you think your wife would trust YOU again if she found out?
Do you think it would be an option to get back together if you found out this new lady with a spark really turned out to totally turn you off?
what are YOU going to put in jepordy for a spark?
(my advice: go for the BLAZE where ever that may be)
2006-09-14 16:11:51 · answer #1 · answered by senacia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are having an emotional affair and you aren't taking any responsibility for your part in it. You can blame your wife for "not having any spark" but part of that could be that you aren't paying any attention because your so wrapped up in your new thing at work.
You are both married. You have no right to "get more sexual". If you want more sex than your marriage provides then you need to either get counseling or end your marriage before you go stepping out on the town. It's easy to get heated with someone that you see on a daily basis in a situation that is tense and sexually forbiden - - - You call your wife a friend - - is it worth causing that sort of pain to a friend because you couldn't take the time to end it properly before you let your penis run wild?
2006-09-14 15:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would I do? I would try to work on my marriage and put that spark back as the solution is not outside of it. Besides, what makes u think u won't have this problem down the road, should u two decide to get together? It will eventually get old and u will be back here asking the same question because u have not learned how to deal with your first issues.
If the other woman is feeling guilty, leave her alone and instead of worrying about her and her husband, which u have no business worrying about, worry about your own marriage and work with your wife to find solutions to your issues.
2006-09-14 15:58:22 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to stay married to your wife you should avoid the temptation altogether. If you are willing to go through a divorce then you should probably try to find out if your co-worker intends to stay in her marriage or would she be willing to move on? Basically if your wife is such a good friend you shouldn't put her through the misery of cheating on her, but if you want more from your relationship you should either consider divorce or counseling.
2006-09-14 15:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by strgoddss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get your honey where you get your money. It will backfire and believe me, your wife will find out one way or the other, not to mention your playmates husband. Then, you'll be getting sparks all right, but not like what your looking for.
Get into couples therapy with a competant trained professional, be it through the church or a mental health provider. "Play the tape all the way through."
2006-09-14 15:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should say two words "Begone Satan. "
Crushes you sometimes can't help, but you do not have to act on them.
Do you want to ruin two marriages, two families????? Just to get your jollies for a week or two????
Why does your wife have no sexual spark? How are you treating her????
Maybe she thinks you have no sexual spark, and is eying one of her coworkers just as hungrily as you are yours.
Sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Do a strip tease for her and see what happens....you loved her once, and I bet you still do.
Fight for her,
Fight for your marriage.
Respark her spark :)
2006-09-14 15:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by Matilda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married what are you thinking its for better or worse life is not always about the sex but it helps.maybe you need to make a nice dinner for her and some soft music dance alittle in your living room with just a few candles burning then get some toys and just have fun.
2006-09-14 16:21:51 · answer #7 · answered by starlight203_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should confirm in case you pick to proceed to be married or not. and then if not proceed mutually with your fantasy concepts of being with a girl. in case you pick to proceed to be married then stand company on your dedication mutually with your husband. provide up being selfish, having an affair with yet somebody else the two male or lady should not be an determination. and that i agree mutually with your husband, bringing yet somebody else into the courting/marital mattress isn't a solid thought.
2016-10-15 00:29:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you buy your wife an outfit like your co-worker would wear you have a crush on maybe that could bring some sparks back with your wife
2006-09-14 15:49:36 · answer #9 · answered by BrandonJDB 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen I don't know about others but I did cheat on my EX wife and trust me. Her forgiveness is easy to get. it is trying to forgive yourself for a moment of quick pleasure. well all have to make up our own minds, but i hope you think it through. you could even try telling your wife that you are haveing these thooughts and would rather act them out with her
2006-09-14 15:52:29 · answer #10 · answered by weldergooroo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋