Senior Citizens

Would you share one of your recipes to make a healthy dip

2007-12-09 10:28:00 · 14 answers · asked by Tracer 5

A Guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus on a stool and announces that this is a very talented octopus, which can play any musical instrument in the world.
Everyone laughs at the man, calling him an idiot. So he says that he'll wager £50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can’t play.
A guy walks up with a guitar and puts it beside the octopus. Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Eric Clapton. The guitar man pays up his £50.
Another guy comes up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays like Miles Davis.
This guy pays his £50.
Then a Scotsman hands over a set of bagpipes. The octopus fumbles with it for a minute and then sits down with a confused look.
"Ha," the Scot says. "Can ye no play it?" The Octopus looks at him and says: "Play it? I’m going to make love to it as soon as I figure out how to get these pyjamas off..."

2007-12-09 10:26:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Like John Travolta in "Michael" Battle can be ANY battle.

What was the last battle you fought and won?

2007-12-09 10:07:57 · 25 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

I am a senior and I am repotty training myself. Only this time around I have huge nappies and a taller toilet.
I feel I am going back to child hood.
Any one else?????
Can't chew, don't understand, can't hear
can't see, almost bald, but hair on my face,
unable to leap tall buildings in a single bound,
not as powerful as a locamotive, not able to sleep all night but have 2 naps in the day.

2007-12-09 10:07:04 · 17 answers · asked by clara M. 2

without sounding like an emotional cripple? These people know who they are and I just want them to know how much I apprectiate them all.
Thanks tons.

2007-12-09 10:06:36 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

I know when I was growing up we ate meals at the dining table but I find myself eating more meals in front of the TV or even sitting at the computer. Anyone else find themselves doing this?

2007-12-09 09:37:36 · 43 answers · asked by jfjohnsonrn2 2

2007-12-09 08:59:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

( your grandkids) compared to when you were younger and raising your own? Would your kids agree?

2007-12-09 08:33:45 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who should play you as a young adult?

Any suggestions about others here?

2007-12-09 08:14:57 · 37 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

Imagine you have a bad word jar, with every bad word you've said in the last two weeks, you've had to put in a dollar. How much money would you have today?

2007-12-09 08:07:33 · 41 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

that you still ask yourself, "What was I thinking?"
(or two things).

2007-12-09 08:04:15 · 28 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

Mine are:
"The Birds"-1963
"Wrong Turn"-2003

2007-12-09 08:04:04 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

i have arthritis in both knees, Ughhh

2007-12-09 07:58:30 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Imaine for a moment that you were offered the job of feature columnist in any publication of your choice.
What publication would you choose and what type of column would it be?

2007-12-09 07:55:21 · 23 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

'Tis deja vu, we have another ice storm like the one in January. Trees down everywhere, electricity out in half the city and surrounding towns don't have any at all. We still have ours but tree branches are cracking and breaking everywhere, whole trees are falling with the weight of the ice, and it just keeps raining and freezing on. A six-inch branch came down out of my lirodendron tree as I was looking out the door a minute ago.
Not an avaliable generator in town, or kerosene or propane heater, and the city is putting its emergency plan in place this afternoon. Is anybody really ready for this kind of thing? What do you do to prepare for it?

What is the worst storm in your memory?

2007-12-09 07:32:38 · 22 answers · asked by Isadora 6

I'am finding much food makes me run to the toilet. And booze. Forget it. I fly to the toilet.Do you have these problems.
Toilet Training????

2007-12-09 07:28:15 · 22 answers · asked by clara M. 2

Just a few minutes ago, my husband turned to me and offered me the last few crunchy pieces of white cheddar flavored popcorn. I declined. He then said to me “I always try to give you the very best, from the curliest of curly fries to the last half popped kernals of popcorn”.


My husand has always said things through the day to bring cheer into my life, and keep a smile on my face.

Do you recall any times similar to this that you have shared?

What has someone said to you in your life that, if nothing more, has brought a smile to your face? Please share the situation and the story.

2007-12-09 07:00:45 · 16 answers · asked by .~*☆★*~. .~Buzz~~. .~*★☆*~. 3

I am a senior living in BC Canada. Snail mail is post mail. I would like to email you and post mail. I make dolls, art and read

2007-12-09 06:51:42 · 5 answers · asked by clara M. 2

12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web Addicts


1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.

5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.

7) I will read a book... if I still remember how.

8) I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

2007-12-09 06:37:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

GRANDMA IN COURT.

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll throw
both of you in jail and neither of you will ever see the sun again.
______________________________________________________

2007-12-09 06:21:31 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

girl or dream guy? Or have even met them?

2007-12-09 06:16:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-09 05:59:54 · 7 answers · asked by ScorpioDog 2

I live in BC Canada and what to snail mail and email many seniors. I live to make dolls and write and laugh.

2007-12-09 05:58:12 · 12 answers · asked by clara M. 2

I mean how Piggy Banks originally got that name?

2007-12-09 05:35:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

to bad we cant keep this catorgory to just older ones, do you agree? or dont it bother you? i wonder why they come here for?

2007-12-09 05:32:23 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mystery, mystery/thriller, fantasy, sci-fi, history or historic fiction? How is it? Would you recommend it to others?

2007-12-09 05:16:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

.....what two things on our bodies continue growing throughout our lives....until the very end?? ( Okay you naughty guys, you only wish! ha ha ha ha)

2007-12-09 05:10:20 · 20 answers · asked by Eve 5

Have you wondered what they are doing now or have you tried to track them down and communicate???

2007-12-09 05:09:56 · 30 answers · asked by menasha_rabinowitz 3

This is a supposedly actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida........ and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash


SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.


DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz Style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.


EDUCATION: Yes.


LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.


MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.


REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.


HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.


PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a More intimate environment.


MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?


DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?


DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"


HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.


DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.


WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.


DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.


SIGN HERE: Aries.

2007-12-09 04:52:08 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

around like a headless chicken today, or did you sit by the fire and keep warm instead.

2007-12-09 04:51:42 · 21 answers · asked by Roxy. 6