For Grandparents...in what way have you improved your ways with children?

Question

( your grandkids) compared to when you were younger and raising your own? Would your kids agree?

Answer 1

From the moment my grandchildren were born (the eldest is now 29) I always tried to build a relationship with them because I loved them so much. I was so very blessed to live close enough to do this. When they were little I would pack them all up in the car on a weekend, (I worked at a full-time job), and we would do something special, not every weekend mind you, because some weekends I would take just one of them (I had 4 grandchildren at this time). We would go to the Park, just go for walks, & at Christmas time we the 5 of us would go to a special Christmas Fantasyland place where we had a train ride, at the end of the train ride we would go in the Christmas shop and each of them would pick out a special decoration for their tree. I know today when they decorate their tree they will have good memories as they hang these special ornaments. I knew then that I was building bridges that would keep them close to me (even though miles apart), in my later years, and at the same time was giving them love & special attention that perhaps their parents did not have the time for. If these bridges are built they will cross over them, believe me.
Today even though we live many miles apart we are in constant touch on the phone, via e-mail, etc. We never end a phone call without each of us saying "I love you". It is so important for them to know they are loved. I never hear that growing up in a family of 9, how I wish I did, but you know what each succeeding generation can try to do a bit better than our parents who I am sure did to their best of their abilities and resources at the time. I loved my grandparents dearly but never got to spend much time with them.
My youngest grandchildren are now 12 and 13 and we live closeby which is just wonderful. The older ones are in another Province but with today's technology we keep in constant touch. One thing I did with the granddaughters which they just loved (when I had them one at a time, we always went on a shopping trip and bought a new outfit, which they modeled for everyone afterwards. I have never regretted one moment spent with my grandchildren and I thank the Lord for having been blessed with them. I do hope this answer helps you - a bit long, but I tend to get wordy, forgive me.

Answer 2

I listen a lot closer and ask more questions, open up more dialog. Kids are into more things than they were when mine were growing up and I want to know what my granddaughter is up to, so I will know to encourage it or head it off if I need to, esp. when she is staying with me for an extended period. She has nice friends, so far, and I am grateful for that. I try to listen between the lines, and I want to know where she is and with whom, and when she is coming home. She actually gets away with a lot less than her mother did. I'm a lot older and a lot smarter. I suppose when she turns 18 next year I'll have to slack off a bit, since she will technically be an adult. Legally. But she will still have rules to follow when she is in my house and I am responsible for her well-being. We actually get along very well because she knows what to expect with me and seldom pushes it too far. Her mother agrees, and I think she is even more strict than I am because she has already been there, done that, and her daughter can't get away with much.
Now, the little grandbabies are just starting, and I am a lot more relaxed with them and spoil them more at their tender ages than I did my own. After all, they have to go home, I can't keep them, so I want to get all I can of them when I have them.

Answer 3

All my Grandchildren are off in another part of the country. I don't get to see them often if at all.. so I really can't say to much, although, I agree with not taking the back talk and rolling eyes! And God help your little Butt if you dare yell at me! Children now days seem to be the ones running the families! It irritates me to no end. However, in defense of the parents, you can go to jail for giving your child a spanking! No accountability now days!

Answer 4

I have learned nose and hand prints on windows are not such a bad thing. Eating a second cookie won't kill little children. Have learned to use my ears more and my mouth less. Kids don't die from crud if they don't have a bath after a long day. Also discovered being chubby is OK..one Grandson told me he likes to hug me because I am "fluffy".

Yep, guess we mellow as us get older. Yes, my children would agree that I am not as strict with the g-kids as I was with raising them.

Answer 5

The main thing I have found is I am a lot more Patient, I just want to spoil them, they get away with a lot more than their parents did when they were young, but I do try to refrain from doing so as it's my children that would have to suffer the conseqenses of that, my children definately see the difference I am with the grandchildren

Answer 6

unsure if my kids would agree, but here goes: i think i am much more lenient, more patient in a way, and less patient in other ways. i am not so critical of them, but i worry the same as i did with my kids about their choices. i hold my tongue, interfere less in their lives, and i just try to add joy and happiness and support they don't get otherwise. more sympathy i think too. i sometimes let them do little things their parents might not let them do, but not harmful or against the law! i am always willing and happy to hold them, comfort them, rock them and they know i am in their corner always. they know i will always tell them the truth. so, i think i have improved a lot, but it has to do with not having the responsibilites i did with my kids, and i am not there everyday and that is a whole different ballgame. i love being their grandparent, and i think they love being my grandchildren too

Answer 7

My kids would say I am a completely different person but I still have the same rules I just enforce differently.
My kids warn their kids what to expect from me. I have a saying that goes like this "I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I do what I say I'm going to do" and it is written in stone. My kids cringe when they hear that because it true.

Answer 8

I think I did a pretty good job with my kids and I try to maintain my same standards with my grandchildren. I still don't put up with rolling of eyes and back talk!

Answer 9

I have two in their 30s and they both have kids and I still have one at home he is 11. I don`t treat any of them any differently and never will. My parenting skills have not changed at all.

Answer 10

I have improved my ways with my grandchildren by not baby sitting, nor will I clean up after them and when they come to visit and start to act up. I say GoodBye
Go home and act up and goodby. Come back when you want to be nice.
My kids don't like it that I will not put up with their spoiled kids. But, I don't care.
I even moved across the continent to get away from them.
I have my own old life.