Senior Citizens

A duck walks into a bar at lunchtime and asks for a pint of beer, he drinks it and goes out.
The following day he is back, and orders a pint again.
The barman says to him "we don't get many ducks in here, what's on?"
The duck says "I am working on the building site over the road, I will be here for a week or so".
After the duck has left, the barman phones a friend who owns a circus, and tells him about this beer drinking, talking duck.
The following day, when the duck comes in, the barman says "I spoke to a friend who owns a circus yesterday, he has a job in the circus for you, you can start when you like, name your own wages".
The duck looks puzzled and says " a circus? thats one of those big tents made of canvas isn't it ?"
The barman says "yes, that's it".
The duck replies " I don't get it, why would he need a plasterer ?"

2007-09-17 09:51:51 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Do you value the security of gvmt planning your retirement, your health care, your financial future, or would you rather take life on and do these things for yourself and see how much you can accomplish in life?

If you rather let gvmt do these for you, do you think others should be forced into the same plan as you? Why? Do you think others wouldn't do as well as you, or are you afraid that other would do much better than you?

2007-09-17 09:28:10 · 15 answers · asked by Dr Jello 7

Life will come to an end and as family & friends pass by your casket what are the things you'd like to hear them say about you?

2007-09-17 09:13:27 · 14 answers · asked by Ju ju 6

i keep reading and hearing about the war going on being BUSH`S war. i`m confused

was it bush`s plane blown up over scotland
was it bush`s embassy that was blown up in LEBANON?
was it bush`s lkuwait that was invaded and it`s residents slaughtered?
were those bush`s planes flown into bush`s twin towers?
were all the people in those planes buildings and lands relatives of bush.
were all the innocents killed by terrorists were they all related to bush?
while i don`t agree with everything gw does none of the above is true.
what is true is that most americans have forgotten these things and think bush is waging a personal war people we were attacked on american soil innocents were killed not military people i`am an older american they say the memory is the first to go wrong my feelings are as strong today as they on 9/11 my anger my anger has not faded it has always been that freedom comes with a price and as always our young soldiers pay that price people this is all of our`s war

2007-09-17 08:18:11 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Being a modern caring man, I asked my wife what she would like to do for her birthday, she said "I would like to be 8 again".
So, the big day comes, I whisked her off to the fun park, 5 rides on the wall of death, 4 on the roller coaster and all of the other stomach wrencher rides all non-stop, then straight off to Mcdonalds, large burger with fries and a couple of pints of coke, followed by ice cream with all of the toppings. She was exhausted ! Off home next, and as she collapsed on the bed looking a little green around the gills, I said "so how was it like being 8 again?" Just before she rushed to the toilet clasping her mouth she glared at me and shouted, "I meant my dress size you dumb ****".
Which just goes to prove, that even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong

2007-09-17 07:52:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Some people don't realise that Seniors ask a variety of questions, because they have had a variety of experiences throughout their lives, have many interests and are not stuck in a one issue world.

2007-09-17 07:31:53 · 30 answers · asked by TRAF 4

in a new directive nothing must be worn below the elbow(rings watches etc.) in order to eliminate superbugs. Watta lotta crapola!!! The things to do in order to help would be 1. Make sure that doctors, like nurses,wash their hands after each patient and 2. bring back the NHS employed domestics who took a pride in "their" ward and were part of the team and not paid rubbish money, expected to do too much work in too short a time with no sick pay,in order to line the pockets of contractors. There, I've said it. What do you think?

2007-09-17 07:08:52 · 28 answers · asked by Yoda 4

I go back and forth on this. Sometimes I look back on my life at all the great times and think that it could not get any better than that. And then sometimes I wonder what pleasant surprises life still has to offer.

2007-09-17 05:01:30 · 17 answers · asked by your_dear_old_mother 5

Even if we have the freedom to do so, do you think this is fair to those living in that community? They will tear down a cottage or ranch style home and build an estate or mansion-type house that does not fit the neighborhood. Is it wrong for me to feel that way? They are edging out the middle-class.

2007-09-17 04:30:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

when you got older? That is, being far away from senior services offered (transportation, doctors/hospitals, grocery stores, trash services, etc.)

2007-09-17 04:18:34 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Or, do people just buy these at the check stand and pop them on their car and feel they've really done something!

2007-09-17 03:18:30 · 19 answers · asked by ndnquah 6

2007-09-17 03:18:23 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

I still have a Jimmy Carter peanut lapel pin.

2007-09-17 03:16:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Did he come back okay? Do you think for the sake of science that this was cruel?

2007-09-17 03:09:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mistakenly I may have commisioned the wrong artist for the 22" portrait of Hetti the Head Honcho Hen on my upper chest.

Yes - he made a good job of a clean shave prior to commencing the work but during the 'operation' he actually dozed off at least a couple of times - allowing the needle to drift over the site - no great damage done - artistic license allows for a couple of feathers where there are none on the real bird.

However - my concern is for someone who falls asleep during the telling of my hen stories - what is that all about? I thought I was feeding his artistic interpretation of the subject.

Would another artist be willing to take on the job? So far we have the outline of Hetti's beak, left eye (the one with the cast) and the best of her breast - still a way to go then.

What do you think? Stay with the narcoleptic tattist or seek out a more attentive provider?

2007-09-17 02:59:19 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is it right to force people to invest in a scheme like social security that does have risks to insure that everyone lives at the poverty level, or let people invest as they see best for their life?

If we live in a free country, why do we accept being forced to invest in a risky plan that is mis-managed by gvmt officials?

Wouldn't it be better if we gave people the choice to opt in to social security if they wanted to, and let others invest on their own if that was their choice mad by their own free will?

If we think we know best for others, then should we be able to control more of their actions?

2007-09-17 02:39:17 · 11 answers · asked by Dr Jello 7

My county is finally offering free bus riding for seniors starting January 2008. Unfortunately, I don't qualify yet. Age is at least 65.

2007-09-17 02:38:55 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

My safety net is down to me and God.

2007-09-17 02:12:25 · 13 answers · asked by Gypsy Gal 6

2007-09-17 02:08:19 · 4 answers · asked by Gypsy Gal 6

During the day she is perfectly normal. She is a little slow but that is something that comes with age a lot of times. At night she gets really antzy. She rocks in the rocking chair really fast. She will walk to different parts of the living room and just rest there. She will sit in the recliner, moan, groan, and talk to herself. She was watching a commertial and they said "pink" and she just kept saying "pink." When they said "blue" she kept saying "blue." She claims she can't sleep but she never tries. What could it be? I have never seen this kind of behavior before. (Well, I have seen her do it a lot, but not in anyone else.)

2007-09-16 23:11:31 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

From a government, personal, environmental etc angle?

2007-09-16 22:51:58 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5

For years they have been putting hormones in disposable diapers/nappies. For reasearch:

www.babyaward.com/find/search/nappies

Intersting to research, may answer a few questions.

2007-09-16 20:58:24 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

After three months of them discovering that lump on my lung, and bunches of tests, I go in tomorrow to have a biopsy.

I am quite scared, because I don't like needles been put into me. Let alone, into my lung. And I will only have a local, so I will be awake.

At least, with the biopsy we will get a final result, I hope! Think of me tomorrow please, as all my family are far away.

2007-09-16 20:50:28 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous

For me, it was "My Brother's Keeper," by Marcia Davenport. It is the story of two brothers who were found dead amid tons of rubbish in their house.

The book details how they got to that point.

The book made such an impression on me that I never forgot it. It was written in 1954. I was shocked that anyone could live that way, and then, years later, I noticed one of my aunts had become just such a packrat. Scary.

2007-09-16 18:10:39 · 21 answers · asked by felines 5

I like this one, not Burma Shave, but Heinz Catsup:

Shake and shake
the catsup bottle.
None will come ...
and then a lot'l!

or ...

A man, a miss,
a car, a curve -
He kissed the miss
and missed the curve.

BURMA SHAVE!

2007-09-16 16:46:39 · 8 answers · asked by Bad Kitty! 7

2007-09-16 16:11:54 · 12 answers · asked by Nannie 3

Yeah, not a joke, I just turned a year older a couple of days ago, I just want to have a heads up on when I can get discounts.

*and no.. a lady never tells her age..*

2007-09-16 16:08:57 · 20 answers · asked by †↓ѕіѕтея•матуІdа↓† 3

I'm interested in clear communication, and I'm not a chatroom enthusiast, so I don't really find the "chatroom abbreviations" and text messaging style questions and responses too charming. In fact, trying to interpret them leaves me annoyed and I usually skip the question or response entirely.
Does anyone else find this as annoying as I do??

2007-09-16 15:57:04 · 27 answers · asked by autumlovr 7

I do, and I know it's probably irrational, but I hate to be cold. I want to hibernate and not leave the house again until spring.

We have mild winters here, so I'm sure it's just a phobia. In the past 7 years, we've hardly had measurable snowfalls.

2007-09-16 15:55:09 · 25 answers · asked by felines 5

2007-09-16 15:12:32 · 18 answers · asked by Mary G 6