When I was 11year old I found out the right word for what I was, and that I knew I was since I was 5...I found out what the word "gay" and "homosexual" meant and I was finally able to associate a word to my difference. Because, I knew I was different mentaly from other boys from the time I was 5 maybe even before that. I learned these words and what I was when I was 11yrs, while in church, and the youth pastor preaching about the wrongness of homosexuality and that they wouldn't be allowed into heaven, if they didn't change. For years after that day I hated myself, I would constantly try and force myself to like girls and almost fooled myself into believing I had a crush on one, I didn't. I would pray to god everynight with tears in my eyes, begging him to change me to make me straight, to make me stop having thoughts about other boys instead of girls i was 11!! I would constantly wonder why I should go to hell for something I didn't choose He never answered my prayer...why?
2007-10-02
12:21:25
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24 answers
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asked by
NowhereMan
3
in
Religion & Spirituality