can't make friends, i compensated for anxiety by drinking to the point of nearly killing myself, 5yr sober now - but there is something in my head that needs something else -being in public, crowds, groups, where there's human interactions terrifies me- in the morning just leaving the house, stand w. my hand on the door for 10 mins. planning just how to get to the car - i've had thoughts of killing my self just to get away from the horror but i know i can't do such a thing to my family- i'm not married, can't date, i've had a couple girlfriends but can't say i've ever understood why, i have had sexual relations but can't say that I've ever really "gotten it"- i recall i may have been molested when i was around 11-12 and had some destructive events happen to me in terms of social interactions - i'm fairly sure i've got some repressed-b.s. - afraid that sometime i might not be able to resist some urges i have until halfway to the ground
it feels like a puppet world, smile and move along
2007-12-25
01:39:13
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7 answers
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asked by
Abel Skivver
3