I am 22 years old. My good friend is 26. She is now extremely worried about her future. She really wants to get married and have family. On the other hand, her boyfriend does not want to get marry. They dated for 6 years. She moved back to HK 3 years ago. However, she still hang on to the relationship.
She often calls and talks to me online. Most of our conversation have been her relationship. She worried about nobody will marry her. She worried about noone want to date her, etc.
I listen to this crap over and over again. I am tired of listen to her. Even though, I am strong and independent. Sometimes, she makes me worrying too because I am 22 and I have never had a boyfriend.
What should I do? I have been telling her so many times to stop worring. But she does not seem to listen.
Thank you.
2007-12-25 07:20:27 · 12 answers · asked by Hope 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
well from what i know her nationality is very loyal........much more than most americans when it comes to relationships........maybe you should agree a little more with her...........tell her no one may want her if she gets too old , let her know that as long as she hangs on to a relationship that is long distance and going no where she will never find anyone...............but tell her how she will always have a friend in you and you will support her no matter what she decides, love her as a friend but it sounds like you need to give a little tough love now.....
2007-12-25 07:37:17 · answer #1 · answered by Ron B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you that you're strong and independent. So you haven't had a boyfriend yet. No problem. It'll happen when it'll happen. :)
I'm sure you don't want to hook up with a random man just so you can say you have a boyfriend. Both you and your friend are young, you shouldn't be worrying about getting married now just because you're afraid you won't "have nobody to marry with". Enjoy your life to the fullest instead.
I understand that sometimes friends can get a bit upsetting, especially when we give them the same advice over and over again, and they never listen. I learned that sometimes there's nothing we can do about that. Ultimately, it's her decision. You can either stop giving her advices on her love life, or confront her with her own choices. Good luck! :)
2007-12-25 15:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by C M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should let your friend know that God's timing is perfect and so she should not try to make things happen. What is meant to be -will be and so worry is useless. She should also know that it is good to have patience because good things cometo those who wait. Who knows, perhaps in time she'll find someone even better who will undoubtedly love and marry her for who she is. We cant see behind the clouds(in the future) and things happen when we least expect them to. All she needs to do is pray and have faith!
Meanwhile, she should enjoy her time doing things she love rather than dwell so much on the future.
2007-12-25 21:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by Starr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling her not to worry doesn't work because it's her personality. She likes to complain a lot. All you can do is stop be willing to listen. Even if you think it's mean, it's better than wasting hours of your life listening to crap. You aren't obligated to do that. So you have to tell her that you can't hear it anymore, and that it's making YOU worried and you don't like that. Then change the subject immediately.
2007-12-25 15:27:45 · answer #4 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend sounds very insecure, maybe you should try and divert her attention elsewhere, maybe talk to her about your problems instead of allowing her to go on about hers. Point out to her that marriage is something that will happen when it's meant to happen and that if she shouldn't cling on to a boyfriend who doesn't want the same as her.
Maybe you should tell her that she is worrying you about your future because she makes it seem so bleak; maybe then she will take a step back and think about it ...
Good luck
2007-12-25 15:31:01 · answer #5 · answered by LONDONER © 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who goes on and on about the same problem too, and she used to drive me crazy until I stopped answering the phone when she calls. That was about six months ago, and now I only pick up if I really have the energy to talk to her. She still goes on and on about the same problem, and when it gets on my nerves I just tell her I have to go now and say good-bye and hang up.
2007-12-25 15:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should straight out know that
she's worrying way too much and it's not gonna help anything.
it sounds harsh, but im the same as her.
whenever my mind is wrapped up in something,
i focus on that one thing and complain like crazy.
thankfully though, i have friends who slap me back into place
and although hearing it may hurt
it's gonna help in the long run.
2007-12-25 19:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you her best friend? tell her to get a life, and helpp her to get it.....make her understand that if she dates a guy for more than one year and the guiy doesnt engage her, he will never marry her. go shopping for guys with her, get her to give a damn about alife again, she cannot do it on her own, so make her do it.she will hate you in the beginning, but will thank you eventually.
best of luck, best regards, and happy holidays
2007-12-25 15:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by Dar' Lene Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that some " Tough Love " is appropriate in this situation! She definitely needs to realize that there are more problems than hers that exist in this world. I'm not exactly certain what you will need to do to make her realize this fact, but for her sake it really needs to be done.
2007-12-25 15:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by ethology 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she really thinks of you as a friend then she wont feel hurt when you tell her to stop going on, if this doesnt work, all messengers have a block feature for stuff like this. good luck
2007-12-25 19:24:25 · answer #10 · answered by Nelly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋