I have this part of me that, some of the time I am proud of my confidence, and other times I really hate it. Whenever I am with people I get really loud and opinionated, I have to be the centre of attention, I say things that are really outrageous, sometimes insulting, and totally inappropriate in the context. Afterwards it really upsets me and sometimes I have panic attacks or dissociation, and decide next time I'll just stay quiet, but I can't. Sometimes I really embarrass myself, I can see people looking at me like I'm some sort of freak, but I just can't stop myself. I used to speak to a psychologist about this and they said it probably isn't that bad and nobody is really bothered, but I have seen the way people look at me, and they would obviously be bothered by some of the things I say. I get really worried that my behaviour will push away my closest friends, even though I never have it still worries me. I wish I could control myself enough to just shut up, but I can't.
2006-11-15
12:09:27
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13 answers
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asked by
Anonymous