When will it be my turn to be happy? It seems like all my life I have taken care of everyone else, and put my life on hold. Well I'm sick of it! My middle name should be on hold. Everybody wants me to be their puppet. Yeah, my life is sooooooo easy, I have everything. I have a husband, kids, and a house. An American dream, the perfect family. And I'm only going to be 28 on July 4th. I am sooooo young, and have not lived life. Right??? Wrong. I do not have a dream life. And if you could handle my life for a month, then you would be doing really good, because I can't handle it anymore. I have put on a smile for the longest time. It became a habit. Yeah, just pretend Cassie, or you are a Drama Queen. Everyone tells me that I am the strongest woman they have ever met. Well, this strong woman needs someone to love me for who I am. Someone who will touch me, because they want to, and not because I asked them to. Someone who will spend time with me, and not be too busy. Someone to make love to me because they want to, and not because it's their job. Someone who will love and want to take care of my children, instead of thinking I can have kids, lets have another one! Is there any real men out there anymore? All the men I've been with, have a very huge flaw. It's either drugs, beating the crap out of me, not wanting to pay attention to me, cheating on me, and lying. Most of the time I think I deserve better, but if I did, wouldn't God have given me what I needed? My soul purpose in life is to take care of people. When will it be my turn? I would love for someone to take care of me. I have needs too. When I get sick, will there ever be anyone to take care of me? When I am lonely, will there ever be anyone to talk to me, and not treat me like I'm a nuisance? Will there ever be someone to make love to me, when I want to become one? Everything I want seems so out of reach. The only thing I have been succesfull with, is having kids. I am sick and tired of single people saying I am so lonely, you do not know what it feels like. Do you think they know what if feels like to be married., and have that person not want you, and have to put up with that for years and years? I do know what it feels like. It is the worst feeling in the world. Don't get married unless you are actually going to be there for that person for the rest of your life. Marraige is a two way street. And both persons have to make it work. If its just one person working on it, then that's the end. It don't work that way. If one person don't want to work on it, and continues apologizing, yet don't do anyting about it, then they don't deserve you. It's time to move on, and that is exactly what I am going to do. I am sick and tired of you abandoning me, I am sick and tired of being lonely, and not touched. When I talk to you, you do not listen. I deserve better. It is time for me to move on. Please God, send me someone that actually loves me, and will not play games. I don't know how much more my heart can take.
2006-07-22
15:23:42
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35 answers
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asked by
sdattitude2004
2
in
Marriage & Divorce