ok #1: i am writing in 2nd person
#2: i appreciate criticism, but please, im only 13. keep that in mind, ok? thanks.
here it is (its a rough draft)
A blinding flash of light. Brakes protested against the pavement. Everything tightened and compressed. Beyond the white flashes was a blur. Metal on metal shrieked. Becoming enclosed in a fiery cage of sparks and flames, bodies flying past. Hitting the pavement with a gory crunch. Then nothing but darkness…
Melody lay on the hot pavement, battered and broken. She opened her eyes groggily - her vision had been mashed into a blurred mess of flashing lights and rushed movement. How much time had gone by? For a moment, she seemed weightless, floating in a state of dream. Reality came crashing down around her suddenly– deafening sounds flooded her ears. Sirens screamed her name all around her, the sour smell of gas, smoke and burning rubber filled her nostrils.
2007-09-06
15:42:52
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9 answers
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asked by
bulletprooflonliness
4