I just got done writing in my journal and i couldnt stop writing and this is what ended up coming out and i didnt realize i felt this way. please dont think it's meant to offend anyone, these are just my feelings i guess.. and a lot of anger. i am at a loss.. the end of my rope.. i didnt realize how much hatred i had.. i used to believe and love god... please dont take offense, these are just my feelings right now. the entry is filled with swearing and i dont feel like editing so im sure a lot will be starred out and the words that aren't censored, i am sorry for that. please help me.
I can’t wait to leave this world.. But I know it’s no paradise that I will be enetering afterwards. Just more pain. That’s how the christian god is. People who experience the hell on earth, are also condemned to an eternity of hell. **** you god. I’m tired of your games. You are nothing. I call myself weak… but really, it’s the weak who feel the need to believe in you, put their hope into you… and believe that you really give two cunting shits. I hate you.. I hate you for everything. You are just as bad as satan himself… but at least satan has the balls to live up to his name you ******* coward. You ego is enough to make me sick.. You died on the cross out of love??? Then why do you demand worship? Unconditional love?? Oh, a love that I am incapable of grasping?? Last time I checked unconditional meant that your love is pure, perfect, and UN ******* CONDITIONAL. Your form of love is sending people that don’t WORSHIP you to an eternal, burning hell? I don’t need your ******* love… I don’t even want to see my worst enemy tortured for eternity so how can people say you are love? You are vengeful and hateful. **** your free will. You’re ego is bigger than any love you could possibly give. I would die for the people I love, too so what makes you so ******* special? And those people that I love and would die for.. Just because they didn’t worship me and follow my rules, I would never turn them away from an eternity of paradise. You gave satan reign over this world.. And the people I love.. I certainly wouldn’t “test” their loyalty and put them trough HELL so they could be “used” for a greater purpose. I don’t believe in your definition of love.. And anymore.. It’s hard to believe in you. And by the way, your people give you a really bad name. I hope your proud of what you have created. Hatred and agony. Cindy is the only true person I know.. But still, I wonder about the judgemet I see in her. Why is it so hard for your people to remember, enforce and comprehend your word that clearly states that sin is sin and there is no sin greater than another. Your people are the biggest hypocrites in today’s society.. They can’t even unite and agree on you or your word.. So who is right? The Baptists? The Pentecostals? Catholics? Mormons? JW’s, Apostolic’s? I’m sick and tired of you and your empty promises.
2007-09-15
22:44:21
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17 answers
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Religion & Spirituality