All categories - 7 August 2007

An American tourist in London was desperate to take a leak. After a long search he couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.
"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked.

"I'm sorry," the American replied, "but I really gotta take a leak."

"You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz away."

The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started pissing on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?"

"No," replied the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."

2007-08-07 01:24:26 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I teach in a ghetto school, and let me say that the good kids are great, but the bad ones come to school with no pen, no paper, no I.D., no uniform, no lunch money, no energy, and you can't reach ther parents because they've given the wrong number to the school, or they are bounced around from cousin's house to auntie's house and there's no adult at home to help with homework or even buy them a dictionary or notebook.
Nowadays at least we try to educate everybody. Back in the 50's when "the schools were so great" many of the poor kids didn't even go to school, nor were schools filled with foreigners learning English that bring down a school's test scores. (FYI, the foreign students ty harder and learn faster than the ghetto Americans.)
We don't have enough books, chairs, security, teachers, or classrooms, but still the cons rail against teachers and T's unions, who really son't have much power in my state.
Are T's to blame for all society's ills? Some think so.

2007-08-07 01:24:20 · 8 answers · asked by topink 6 in Other - Politics & Government

I have over 50 shirts ,40 pairs of pants, 20 pairs of shorts, 5 pairs of shoes and 4 jackets that I am donating to the Michigan Kidney Foundation. I do not remember the actual value of each item. How do I write this up when I go to do my taxes this year?

2007-08-07 01:24:17 · 7 answers · asked by woodybmi 3 in Other - Taxes

My boyfriend and have both lived in Spain, but have never made it to Portugal. We have decided to take a bus to Portugal and at this point that is it. We like to party, especially when it involves clubs with good dance/house music or a swanky bar with some cool lounge music. Although we like to party we also want to see some sights and relax as well in an area with beautiful scenery, possibly a beach. Any suggestions on what to do when you only have a week.

2007-08-07 01:24:17 · 3 answers · asked by katiesurfgirl 1 in Portugal

What's up with that?

2007-08-07 01:24:17 · 3 answers · asked by Prof Fruitcake 6 in Religion & Spirituality

boil in the bag?!

2007-08-07 01:23:28 · 21 answers · asked by I dont know 4 in Ethnic Cuisine

2007-08-07 01:23:28 · 22 answers · asked by RoyDamnMercer 6 in Polls & Surveys

If a player gets injured during training camp and they are not expected to play for the entire season do they generally go home or stay and support the team.

2007-08-07 01:23:26 · 2 answers · asked by explosyv 2 in Football (American)

A nice easy recipe please that doesnt need much preperation

2007-08-07 01:23:25 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cooking & Recipes

real reason. He said the next day ..he knew I was tired cause he sensed the body language. I havent told him the real reason.. Should I? as I really love him.I dont want him to feel rejected every time I have my period as I think he thought I am going off him.??

2007-08-07 01:23:07 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

what did you have

2007-08-07 01:22:30 · 18 answers · asked by I AM BACK 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-08-07 01:22:29 · 5 answers · asked by f. ahmad2007 a 2 in Royalty

I want to put vinyl tiles on my pre-existing ceramic tiles but in some areas there is no ceramic tiles and I need something to fill in the gap to make my floors even when I put on the vinyl tile. What should I use? Then when my floors are even how do i put my tiles?

2007-08-07 01:22:15 · 6 answers · asked by Eric K 1 in Do It Yourself (DIY)

She wanted her nails to grow but has been a nail biter all her life and, resultantly, they are nubs. I've allowed her to bite mine because it allows her nails to grow out but it hasn't worked. Now, when she has nothing left of her own, she attacks mine, usually when watching TV, driving, sleeping, and so forth. Now, MY nails are half the length they used to be and are getting to look very similar to hers, though longer still. I don't know how to ask her to stop since she needs to do this so much but, man, it makes it hard for me in terms of my finger's tip sensitivity and the lack of being able to use my nails to grasp for certain things, etc. Opinons?

2007-08-07 01:22:09 · 22 answers · asked by lazurm 3 in Other - Beauty & Style

handgun permit to purchase any handgun in the state of Maryland

2007-08-07 01:22:08 · 5 answers · asked by Davon L 1 in Law & Ethics

2007-08-07 01:22:03 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-08-07 01:22:02 · 13 answers · asked by sheru 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-08-07 01:21:53 · 6 answers · asked by deepak57 7 in Homework Help

2007-08-07 01:21:36 · 44 answers · asked by I AM BACK 7 in Polls & Surveys

yo shouldnt depend on anyone else?

2007-08-07 01:21:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

2007-08-07 01:21:17 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A friend of mine has a 2002 saturn t100. It was driving fine one day, he parked after coming home but when he went to get into it later it only turns over and wont start. I noticed there was no fuel reaching the rail and his fuel pump doesnt make that humming noise it usually does but all the fuses and relays are good ( i switched them around). do fuel pumps just go out like that on those cars. Vehicle has 100k plus miles.

2007-08-07 01:21:08 · 9 answers · asked by Andrew L 1 in Maintenance & Repairs

include at least two examples of materials of which you compare numerical values for relevent properties of current and new materials

2007-08-07 01:20:58 · 2 answers · asked by hidayah g 1 in Chemistry

Its been about 3 weeks since me and my ex broke up. We broke up because I made some mistakes, and my ex said I kept hurting her. The reasons she broke up with me were because I had a slumber type part for one of my friends birthday and my friend invited a girl over. I told my girlfriend and she said she was fine with it since she knows I love her and would never think of doing something with another girl. But until now I found out she was pissed about it, She thinks I said I loved the other girl. Which I never recall saying because I loved my girlfriend and never thought of any other girl like that. Another reason is because a guy was hitting on her at work and I became over jealous. The reason we broke up was because she didn't want to hurt anymore because I was making her suffer.

2007-08-07 01:20:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

2007-08-07 01:20:46 · 5 answers · asked by KClare 1 in Other - Home & Garden

lets say a highly reflective object, what type of lighting do you prefer?

defussed, bounced, key, backlight, fill light, flash on/off camera?

watts and distance if you want, more want to know just angles etc.

example can be a cell phone lcd screen.

all contributions really apprieciated.

2007-08-07 01:20:43 · 3 answers · asked by Antoni 7 in Photography

Please excuse the rough language in the following story... I would have deleted it, but the story wouldn't be the same
A Honeymoon tale..................

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh mama", she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So
romantic"......Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon we returned Sam started using the most horribly language -- things
I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter
words You've got to take me home! ! PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah", her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron, and cook."

............ "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother

2007-08-07 01:20:17 · 8 answers · asked by mysticalviking 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-08-07 01:20:09 · 8 answers · asked by kanina 2 in Singles & Dating

When I was 3 my primary carer, she was my nan, died from a heart attack. My mother came home and found me with her body but has always refused to talk of that day (i'm 42 now). I would have been told along the lines of Roman Catholic beliefs that the angels had taken her to heaven. I was enrolled in Catholic school after that. Developmentally i have grown up with an insatiable need for reasons and, as i grow older a fundamental need to belief. I found this out the other day, talking to my partner.
I reject religion but will die for what I believe in. The whys of it are entrenched in the experience of what happened on that day.
I believe humans are no more than vessels for Spirit. Spirit has no shape or form. Only a continuity. If all the traumatic experiences were equally shared between all ... there might be less wars ...

2007-08-07 01:19:56 · 8 answers · asked by Part Time Cynic 7 in Religion & Spirituality