ONE DAY, IN LINE AT THE COMPANY CAFETERIA, JOE SAYS TO MIKE BEHIND HIM, "MY
>ELBOW HURTS LIKE HELL. I'D BETTER SEE A DOCTOR ."
>
>" LISTEN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY,'' MIKE REPLIES.
>
>" THERE'S A DIAGNOSTIC COMPUTER DOWN AT WAL-MART. JUST GIVE IT A URINE
>SAMPLE AND THE COMPUTER WILL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT
>IT.
>
>IT TAKES TEN SECONDS AND COSTS TEN DOLLARS . . . a LOT CHEAPER THAN A
>DOCTOR."
>
>SO, JOE DEPOSITS A URINE SAMPLE IN A SMALL JAR AND TAKES IT TO WAL-MAT.
>
>HE DEPOSITS TEN DOLLARS AND THE COMPUTER LIGHTS UP ANDS ASKS FOR THE URINE
>SAMPLE. HE POURS THE SAMPLE INTO THE SLOT AND WAITS.
>
>TEN SECONDS LATER, THE COMPUTER EJECTS A PRINTOUT:
>
>YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER AND AVOID HEAVY
>ACTIVITY. IT WILL IMPROVE IN TWO WEEKS. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING @
>WAL-MART".
>
>THAT EVENING, WHILE THINKING HOW AMAZING THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY WAS, JOE
>BEGAN WONDERING IF THE COMPUTER COULD BE FOOLED.
>
>HE MIXED SOME TAP WATER, A STOOL SAMPLE FROM HIS DOG, URINE SAMPLES FROM
>HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER, AND A SPERM SAMPLE FOR GOOD MEASURE.
>
>JOE HURRIES BACK TO WAL-MART, EAGER TO CHECK THE RESULTS. HE DEPOSITS TEN
>DOLLARS, POURS IN HIS CONCOCTION, AND AWAITS THE RESULTS.
>
>THE COMPUTER PRINTS THE FOLLOWING:
>
>1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softner. ( Aisle 9)
>2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. ( Aisle 7)
>3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her to rehab.
>4. Your wife is pregant. TWINS. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
>better!
>
>Thank you for shopping @ Walmart. ..>
2007-05-21
03:03:58
·
12 answers
·
asked by
♥ME♥
6
in
Jokes & Riddles