Hi. This isn't really directly about single parenting although my mom is a single parent. And I'm an only child and I really need advice, actually I need counseling but I'm too embarrased to go. Anyways, I'm 24, my mom had my life completly planned for me. College first, find a great career, then meet a guy (who she imagined in her head also that is Mr. Perfect), get married and have a kid or two. That's exactly what she told me. And here I am, did one year of college (I'm ADD, college is near impossible for me), I live with my fiance and have -oh my god!-"premarital sex", and I'm not rich of course. My family is so hard core baptist conservative Republicans, I've never met anybody like them in the real world. My cousins who are my competition in life to be as good as they are and are my same age, one is a aeronautical engineer for Rolls-Royce making over 150k a year, one works for the Department of Labor and writes speeches for the President, and the other one I'm not exactly sure what she does but she's married to a pastor and vacationning in Italy right now, need I say more. I, work at a book distributor and make minimum wage and I'm not with Mr. Perfect. All I ever hear from her is how much I'm "tearing her heart out" by the way I'm living my life and she keeps telling me about this great "plan she and God had for my life and it just hurts her so much that I won't just go move back in with her and live my life according to 'Gods plan' and go to college, find a great career and then meet a great guy". I think I'm doing pretty good in life I'm renting a small house, I have everything I need in life including a 54' TV and concert stereo system (rentway) and I'm in love with a really nice guy who wants to marry me and have kids but I have to keep hearing from her how much it "hurts her to watch me destroy my life". And I just can't take it anymore. I'm so depressed and she makes me that way. I know she just wants the best for me and I know her way is the better way of life, that's just not the life that I could live up to and circumstances, and yes mistakes, brought me to where I am now but I'm happy now except I can never really be happy because her guilt won't let me be. What can I say to her to make her understand and love me for me and not who she wanted me to be. And how can I not let the burden she puts on me make me miserable? She lives in Leave It To Beaver world and just doesn't get it. Oh by the way, she's a drug and alchohol counselor, she's never done either in her life but whatever. So me drinking a beer on Friday night is one of the biggest sins in the world. Anyways, what can I say to her and how do I not let this tear me apart?
2007-03-30
03:07:07
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5 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Psychology