Is this normal?

Question

My son passed away 3 years ago,He was 5months old.Sence then I can't remember nething that goes on in my life.I flip out and get very upset over things that really shouldn't upset me as much as they do?I have no energy.Is this normal?Why is this happening?Will I ever be myself again?How will this affect my other 3 sons?Is there something I can do to help myself?

Answer 1

This is a normal part of grieving. However, it can get carried away and will affect more than just you. Remember that you other sons lost a brother. I would suggest going to a counselor. Bring your sons as well. They'll need it just as much as you.

Answer 2

Yes, this is normal. Our brains have a habit of storing information like a computer database. This information is archived, until something trigger's it. The "something" doesn't have to be anything even closely related to the info in the database, but somewhere in the new "something" is an old trait that has triggered the reaction in your brain to bring up an archived file.

From your comments, it sounds like you may have depression. Depression is VERY normal and occurs in I think 1 out of 5 people, at the very least. Over time without treatment, depression can be very costly and extremely harmful.

Please do not be discouraged to admit that you may be depressed, or be embarassed to go and get some help.

WE ARE HUMAN AND ALL NEED HELP! There are many, many of us out here who struggle with depression daily and feel that we can overcome this "thing" without meds. For some this may be true, for others - like those of us who hold onto things subconciously - it isn't.

The something that you can do to help yourself is to get some professional counseling and/or therapy. Check online for free counseling services in your area, and if there are none, check with your insurance as to whom you can see.

Trust me, it took me 10 years to admit depression and it was the absolute best thing I'd ever done for myself. It does get better...

Answer 3

Firstly, words can't express how sorry I am for your loss. I think it's still affecting you, and that takes time..and help. I'm no doctor, but it sounds you have some issues with depression- but who wouldn't in your shoes?

You need to talk to someone about this, it has been a few years now, but it's still affecting you, and will-to some extent-forever. This doesn't mean you have to suffer (as strongly as you are) forever, or should feel bad if there are days that go by when you don't suffer as much as you did the day it happened.

You're in my thoughts, and I hope for nothing but the best for you and your family.

Answer 4

It sounds like you have developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You should seek a therapist. Start there. If the therapist thinks that you have PTSD, then you can work on that.

Losing a child is a very traumatic event as you well know and not everyone recovers from it. You can lead a normal life, but you will need help to get to that point.

My wife suffers from PTSD after 19 years of emotional and physical abuse in a bad relationship. My wife has a severe case of PTSD and she is on anti-depressants, but that does not mean that you will be. There are many levels of severity with PTSD.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 5

Yea you need to find closure for the sake of your other children and be happy you have them. To them it seems liek it is their fault that the baby died and MOm doesn't love them anymore. You need to let go and move on and carry your child in your heart and not on your shoulder. So remember this quote, Life goes on and never stops for anyone or anything. ANd if your goingt o live in the past you will always be lonely. But if you want talk about it to anyone that willlisten and get it out int eh open. And It might help and maybe not but write everything you feel and you ahte in a letter and when your thru just go outside and burn it and your troubles shoudl go away but never forget him and keep him in your heart always. But you need to get out of your shell soon for the sake of your family and assure your children it wasn't theri fault and that Mommy still loves them and show them and it will make you ahppy too. A smile in a child 's face will open your heart again for everything around you. But if you need to chat just IM or e-mail me anytime.

Answer 6

I say this with all seriousness - you need to talk with a therapist. You don't have to live the way you're living now - you CAN get better, but you have to talk with a professional. Anyone who goes through such a loss should seek out help - just by posting this it means you want to get better and get past this. Now take the next step - find out from your insurance company if it covers for therapists and begin the road to healing yourself. You deserve it.

Answer 7

I'm sorry for your lost but this section is about dating. I never had a lost this bad like yours. I do know if you don't move on from this lost then your other son will lose a good mother from here on out and you will have taken away their happy momery of you.

moving on mean your living your life not just for your self but all those who need you right now. sorry I can't help you any more then that.

got a dating question?

Answer 8

Im sorry for your loss, and the best thing for you to do is to talk to a psychiatrist or a counselor, I think the worst thing someone can experience is the loss of a child, and well i would recommend for you to talk to someone about it.

Dont worry you will be yourself again, put your faith in God and everything will be alright.

Make sure you talk to someone before it gets worse.

Answer 9

It seems like u should have gone to trauma counseling then,but its not too late i still strongly advice u to go.Time will heal u but nobody expects u to forget tour son!

Answer 10

Hi Dear,
You need professional help. You need to share your feelings and thoughts with someone that can lead you into an emotional rehab. It is very very important for you as it is for your 3 other sons and your hubby. Please love yourself even more.
J