Hi. This isn't really directly about single parenting although my mom is a single parent. And I'm an only child and I really need advice, actually I need counseling but I'm too embarrased to go. Anyways, I'm 24, my mom had my life completly planned for me. College first, find a great career, then meet a guy (who she imagined in her head also that is Mr. Perfect), get married and have a kid or two. That's exactly what she told me. And here I am, did one year of college (I'm ADD, college is near impossible for me), I live with my fiance and have -oh my god!-"premarital sex", and I'm not rich of course. My family is so hard core baptist conservative Republicans, I've never met anybody like them in the real world. My cousins who are my competition in life to be as good as they are and are my same age, one is a aeronautical engineer for Rolls-Royce making over 150k a year, one works for the Department of Labor and writes speeches for the President, and the other one I'm not exactly sure what she does but she's married to a pastor and vacationning in Italy right now, need I say more. I, work at a book distributor and make minimum wage and I'm not with Mr. Perfect. All I ever hear from her is how much I'm "tearing her heart out" by the way I'm living my life and she keeps telling me about this great "plan she and God had for my life and it just hurts her so much that I won't just go move back in with her and live my life according to 'Gods plan' and go to college, find a great career and then meet a great guy". I think I'm doing pretty good in life I'm renting a small house, I have everything I need in life including a 54' TV and concert stereo system (rentway) and I'm in love with a really nice guy who wants to marry me and have kids but I have to keep hearing from her how much it "hurts her to watch me destroy my life". And I just can't take it anymore. I'm so depressed and she makes me that way. I know she just wants the best for me and I know her way is the better way of life, that's just not the life that I could live up to and circumstances, and yes mistakes, brought me to where I am now but I'm happy now except I can never really be happy because her guilt won't let me be. What can I say to her to make her understand and love me for me and not who she wanted me to be. And how can I not let the burden she puts on me make me miserable? She lives in Leave It To Beaver world and just doesn't get it. Oh by the way, she's a drug and alchohol counselor, she's never done either in her life but whatever. So me drinking a beer on Friday night is one of the biggest sins in the world. Anyways, what can I say to her and how do I not let this tear me apart?
2007-03-30 03:07:07 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
this may sound mean but curse her out yell at her and tell her a summarized statement of your question
sorry if this is mean but your mom sounds crazy i would like to know how she knows what god is thinking i thought that was impossible
2007-03-30 03:18:31 · answer #1 · answered by bigbro108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look I'm sorry but your mother is a real pain in the @$$. You should stop visiting her right away and when she asks you why you're not going to her house anymore tell her that you've had enough of her nagging at you. Tell her that you will always be this way whether she likes it or not and that even if she continues to tell you these things you won't change so she might just start accepting you the way you are. Tell her that you are dreading your encounters with her because she just says what she wants and doesn't give a damn about what you feel. And if she doesn't give a damn about what you feel, you won't either! It's time you made her understand what she's putting you through. Good luck
2007-03-30 10:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by tiffywiffy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This woman thinks she owns you because she carried you inside her body. She is mistaken. She is sick. She will destroy you if you let her.
Get away and stay away from her now, not a second sooner. Move across the world or across the country. And cut her off from you and your life before you get drunk and kill yourself.
Jesus will understand and so will God. She is sick and you need to cut that umbilical cord that is still tied to her. Get away from her as far as you can and never talk to her again.
Your ego is crushed flat. She will destroy you. She's not evil, she's sick. That is not mother love. That is Smother love and it is deadly. SHE WILL NOT CHANGE no matter what she says or does. YOU Change right now. YOU can do it.
She will cripple you if you let her have another chance. I will be praying for you and I won't forget you. Just do it. She won't die. That's a lie from Hell. She Will NOT DIE!!!! @8-)
2007-03-30 10:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were doing pretty good until the 54' TV and the renting the stereo part, but you didnt mention a job. So I wonder about priorities, and I think a job could have an impact on this situation and how I answer it.
However, I also have friends with parents like yours who rejected her when marrying a non-Catholic, so she gave up on them, was happier, then they came crawling back.
2007-03-30 10:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by lillilou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about something simple like, "I like my life and you're wrecking that for me."?
2007-03-30 10:21:24 · answer #5 · answered by Nothing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋