I was in a marriage for 10 months. I got married because she was pregnant (wrong reason I know). I did love her but she treated me like crap. We argued everyday. No one had respect for the other. Finally came to a point where I told her it's over, I want out of this marriage. After telling her that, she's tells me she's pregnant again. She says she was 3 weeks preg. I told her that I'm not ready for a 2nd child as the 1st one is a only 6 months old!!!!! She wants to keep the child just to be vindictive in my opinion. If I was a woman, I would not have a child by a man that didn't want it. Especially if we werent going to be together. If I was against abortion, I would have the baby and act like the man doesn't exist. But this woman has the baby and takes me to court for child support for a baby that I feel she's using as a tool to trap me. With the first child, she WAS on birth control but got pregnant anyway. And now this. I swore I pulled out all the time. What should I do?
2007-03-30 03:07:26 · 13 answers · asked by madracer74 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
request a paternity test
2007-03-30 03:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently the relationship wasn't bad enough to not get in the sac with her! I think you need to just deal with the cards that were handed to you. Why should she get an abortion! I'm sure she didn't get pregnant to "trap" you. It isn't like a baby wouldn't make her life a little harder, especially if she has a 6 mo old already. She is the one that needs to Cary the child and go through labor and delivery and in most cases the kids will live with the mother not the father. Yes she is a woman and our bodies are made to have children but it isn't like it is always a cake walk and easy as pie. Why should she pay for the child on her own.....she wasn't The only one that got off at the time. She probably wasn't even the one who did at all! Just for your information, like was taught to every 5th grader in school, pulling out isn't a very good form of birth control.
2007-03-30 10:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am 100% against abortion. It's murder.. plain and simple. I am a Mother, and I love my son with all my heart. I can't imagine how any woman could ever kill their own child that way.. It's just sick.
I seriously doubt that she is having the baby as a way to be vindictive towards you. If you really feel that way, then you must have some serious issues of your own that need to be dealt with. She already has one child, and I'm sure she loves that child very much. There is nothing mean or spiteful about her wanting to have the baby.
Believe it or not, women can and do get pregnant while on birth control. It sounds like you need to do some researching to educate yourself on some things.. The "pull out" method is nowhere near reliable as a form of preventing pregnancy.
You are the father of her child, so you need to stop being so childish about the situation.. and start taking respnsibility.
2007-03-30 10:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dribble before you shoot!
Its really a poor situation that you have gotten into. The facts are you have no rights once the deed is done. She has the soul decision making process and if she is vindictive will have the child and make you life a living hell not to mention the children that you will have limited access to for the next 18-23 years. If men had better forms of birth control there would be far less entrapment's like this.
2007-03-30 11:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as you sow so shall you reap. You got into this mess by being young ,arrogant and stupid. It takes two and she sounds as immature as you do ,BUT the babies are innocent victims of your stupidity. You cannot force her to abort or adopt so you will have to pay under the law as it stands where you live. Why should you walk away without suffering the consequences of what you willingly did with this woman. No one forced you to sleep with her,you could have used a condom whether she was on the pill or not. You had your fun why should the child pay for the mistakes its parents have made.Maybe you won't be so eager to bed the next woman you meet without engaging your brain and using contraception . Both partners should be equally responible for contraception and pulling out isn't contraception.Look it up! While your at it you should get some counselling as well.
2007-03-30 10:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by jacqui w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. Perhaps an attorney knows of any rights the father has to unborn child decision-making but I don't. Is there anyway you can meet with her and a counselor or minister ( 3rd person to maintain the peace) and discuss lack of financial ability to care for yet another and discuss abortion or adoption? All you can do is be the best father you can be and since you two don't get along probably that will be joint custody. I feel badly for you. I always try to send the message in all my answers that there is NO foolproof method of birth control that is 100 percent and now that can be your message too.
2007-03-30 10:26:09 · answer #6 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1. You need to take responsibility and be a real man, not just pretend to be one.
#2. If you didn't want a 2nd child then you should have used some form of birth control when you had sex with her.
#3. If you didn't love her, you should not have had sex with her.
#4. It's very rare to get pregnant on birth control. She obviously wasn't taking the birth control right or was taking antibiotics which can negate the birth control. Condoms along with taking the pill are the safest way to go.
#5. Get counseling...immediately.
2007-03-30 10:13:39 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Put a rubber on it!! You didn't learn after the first one?
With that said, you cannot force anyone to get an abortion. It's the woman's choice to keep the baby or not, and if she decides to keep it... well...PAY UP!
If you were man enough to make babies, be man enough to support them.
Good luck
2007-03-30 10:37:08 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely no abortion. Dude, you gotta keep it in your pants! No birth control is 100 per cent.
2007-03-30 12:21:39 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am against abortion.
There is a such thing as birth control, I hope you guys know.
This whole situation sounds HORRIBLE....my heart goes out to those poor babies.
2007-03-30 10:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋