I need guidance. I've been married a few years, and wife is lovely and smiley, and I
should be happy, but my life feels empty and not worth living. I've tried to distract
myself, try to dilute how I feel, try to twist my brain into feeling happy, but over
the last year, it gets worse and worse. My wife, I think, has grown uninterested in me
emotionally and is seeking everybody else in the world to communicate with but me, has
closed me off, and has told me that it's all normal. She's not happy with everything that
she gets and demands, and just makes me feel I'm the bad guy. She finally broke the news
to me that she wasn't a virgin when we were married and that has popped up in some of
my days to the point of bite-my-toung, images burned into my head, rage. She just says,
"sorry, but that was yesterday, we should move on, " but I don't think she realizes what
she took from me and what I'm left with. I'm finally convinced that I am the bad guy.
Everything in America, and the world, is a lie. People are fake, salesman are fake,
the president is fake, your relatives are fakes, your wife is a fake, and do-gooders
are fake. Adultry is encouraged on the internet, on TV, by "friends", by self, and
is rationalized to the point of being harmless anymore..so people don't have to face the
sin. I bought a $15 paper-shredder at
office depot and the dude looks me in the eyes and tells me I need a special lubricant
to keep the blades sharp. Everybody is silently programmed to robotically embrace
diversity to the point of giving away the american dream, which has been killed. I will
never own a house because, not because I can't afford it, but because I'm too proud to
let somebody lie to me and tell me it's worth it as they leave me with such a debt.
Lies. The president looks us in the eyes and, making the assumption we're dumb pieces
of crap, lies. People sell us paper-covered furniture. Now they're producing furniture
out of cow-**** (I'm serious), because the American people work hard and deserve the
cow-****. Children have as many rights as their parents, feminism reigns, not everyone
has access to flu vaccines, but Hey! you can buy five cell phones for a penny each.
People can't unplug themselves from screens of all kinds. They want and need social
connections but have to work overtime and are always on the run, corporations have
convinced them that cell phones and computers are suitable replacements for human contact.
I'm tired of life. This life, this society, this everything. My wife will never know
how much. My question is, for someone who is so wanting of a good life, but doesn't like
doctors, what do I do? I've said over and over I want pills, because I want happiness
and bliss for my wife, but I'm afraid therapy would be rough for me. I've grown into
such a hard-sell, re-programming me even at 25 years old, would be near impossible. I
just want pills.
2007-02-22
07:18:55
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7 answers
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asked by
Middleton5
1
in
Psychology