All categories - 6 January 2007

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.

However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day.So one day, deep in prayer as usual, the pious man raised his eyes towards heaven and asked: "Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbor, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"

And a great voice was heard from above...

"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"

2007-01-06 09:34:08 · 5 answers · asked by Nafertiti 2 in Jokes & Riddles

I do cause its obvious to see Britney ended her marriage to Kevin and Justin ended his relationship to Cameron Diaz, so I think Justin still likes Britney regardless of wat she did to him!!

2007-01-06 09:34:08 · 15 answers · asked by Jazmin 2 in Celebrities

2007-01-06 09:34:07 · 4 answers · asked by hylky 2 in Hockey

Would that explain how he created both men and women in his own image? With omnipotent power(what a pun!) it wouldn't matter what his physical form is, and in order for the virgin mary to have concieved a child she would have needed a single male sperm (the holy spirit entered in to her) that could have been accomplished without rendering her hymen. Wouldn't this explain why masturbating is a sin, as the sperm quickly dies outside the body, and homosexuality is an abomination to God, since it's sending him into a similarly purposeless place? Wouldn't this explain why he only really approves of the missionary position since the man being on top uses the aid of gravity to make sure that the probability of conception is maximized? It's even considered sinful to have sex during the woman's menstrual cycle--who else but a sperm would care?

2007-01-06 09:34:03 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

I need to write a commercial in Spanish for my final project...it's a perfume commercial...can someone give me two commands of ustedes that I can use in the commercial? I don't remember what they are....

2007-01-06 09:33:58 · 8 answers · asked by Loe Taylor 1 in Languages

I have 3 questions about joke.

1) Many jokes are not true and nonsense (that's why they're jokes). However, are there also jokes that are true and make sense in real life?

2) If I tell something funny that happened to me before (real story, no exaggeration), could that be a joke too?

3) How about when a comedian simply impersonates someone else? Would that be counted as a "joke?"

2007-01-06 09:33:55 · 4 answers · asked by ? 1 in Words & Wordplay

One of the wall sockets in the kitchen repeatidly trips (it's a Leviton Smart Lock GFCI wall socket). The appliances sharing the circuit is the refrigerator and the gas stove/oven. It trips two to four times a day. I've already replaced the wall socket, and it still trips at the same rate. We use to have a mice problem (seems to be gone now), so we suspected they may have chewed on the refrigerators wires. I pulled the fridge out and the wires (including the ones near the compressor) are fine. The stove/oven is never on when the circuit trips, the only thing powered is the LED clock. So how do I find out the source of the short causing the circuit to keep tripping?

2007-01-06 09:33:53 · 10 answers · asked by boomshakkalaka 3 in Maintenance & Repairs

I am watching scary movies for my birthday party and I need some that are rated PG-13.

2007-01-06 09:33:50 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

Examples: http://www.scan.co.uk/Products/ProductInfo.asp?WebProductID=481258

http://www.scan.co.uk/Products/ProductInfo.asp?WebProductID=417756

2007-01-06 09:33:49 · 3 answers · asked by drapert2001 2 in Other - Hardware

Thoses are the names i ike so can you please tell me what you think of it. i do want to know the names you like but be sure to mention something about the names i like!!!!!

2007-01-06 09:33:36 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Baby Names

Im not sure if it is related but just wondered. As I have always been told you have to regularly delete cookies. Which i have been doing. But only noticed since downloaded this Explorer 7 that i can find them anymore?! HELP!

2007-01-06 09:33:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Computers

We are taking a cruise out of the New Orleans Port next week and we will be staying only a night or 2 in the city.
We have a hotel near the ports, French Quarter, Convention Center/Warehouse District. Is that a safe place? Where do we NOT want to be...

THANKS for any help you can give me.

2007-01-06 09:33:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in New Orleans

What ar some things(assesories) that i would have to buy for it, so i could use it at home...I already have a desktop?

2007-01-06 09:33:22 · 2 answers · asked by E. 4 in Laptops & Notebooks

which is faster cold or hot?

What comes once in a minute,
twice in a moment,but never
in a thousand years?

What can you put in a wood box
to make it lighter?

what is the next letter in the series
"B,C,D,E,G...?And Why?

Here on earth it is true,yesterday
is always before today;
but there is a place where
yesterdy follows today.Where?

Pronounced as one letter,
And written with three,
Two letters there are.
And tow in only me.
I'm double,I'm single,
I'm black, blue and gray,
I'm read from both ends,And
the same either way.
What am I?

2007-01-06 09:33:17 · 7 answers · asked by jouliette 1 in Jokes & Riddles

I particularly like a hot spicy sauce. Had it once at a restaurant, but can't seem to duplicate it.

2007-01-06 09:33:16 · 2 answers · asked by Lolly 3 in Cooking & Recipes

A black ecko jacket with some grey on it.. 2 wifebeaters under it, white under the grey one.. then I'm gonna zip the jacket up just a lil bit cause I got a lil bit of size..:P and then a pair of black dickie shorts with a nice white belt?? Honest opinions please.

2007-01-06 09:33:15 · 9 answers · asked by Julio 2 in Other - Beauty & Style

2007-01-06 09:33:14 · 2 answers · asked by jessica j 1 in Music

i am in perfectly good shape and everything but im going away to an island and i really want to get an AMAZING stomach before i go, but i also want to maintain it with out having to diet and work out for hours a day.

2007-01-06 09:33:09 · 5 answers · asked by ranirooster 1 in Diet & Fitness

i'm in the mood to do exercise and i want do to exercise on my belly and arms but mostly on my belly. at home on my floor what is the best exercises ??? thanks !

2007-01-06 09:32:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Diet & Fitness

I've tried acetone, and prying them off. help!

2007-01-06 09:32:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Beauty & Style

i live with my boyfriend who is divorced 5 years ago and has 2 kids 10 and 6, his ex is a real witch and is determined to make his lif-and mine-hell. she looked in his phone once and saw love messages between us, she still loves him and wants to get back to him..so she took my number and called me pretending that she is his girlfriend and that he is cheating on us, i believed her, but then i found out that it all was a trick from her..now she is so mad that she wants to get revenge so she gave him his oldest son and now he is living with us {its actually his first night tonight] ... she is completely nuts and i am scared she can be dangerous.the reason she has done this is to see me and to make my life hell... what shall i do if i am going out of the house and she attacks me somehow?and if she wants to take his son from me? i am in the uk on a visa,i am a student... can she do something to me?? and who would be right if she takes us to court, she can invent any story to get me in ****

2007-01-06 09:32:43 · 11 answers · asked by myrlabelle 2 in Cleaning & Laundry

THE SETTING: A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar,

talking to a young man.

Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention.

"But ya f**k one goat

2007-01-06 09:32:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

This is ridiculous....

2007-01-06 09:32:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Football (American)

The internet has brought the world closer to everyone, but are we mistreating the way we are using it? It so easy to write false information or write things to people and pretend that you are something your not?
Opinions please!

2007-01-06 09:32:38 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Cultures & Groups

I loveee my food. I Love chocolate anything that you name i most probably will eat it apart from onions YUCK lol anyway I eat and eat and eat and im as skinny as a rake i mean wen i breath in you can see my ribs (not wen i have clothes on of course lol) and my shoulder bones stick out yes i know your thinking ewww but i happen to be pretty I just wanted to know is there any other way or any different types of FOOD to make me get a bit meatier ??

2007-01-06 09:32:36 · 31 answers · asked by x [[m]]iss emz x 1 in Other - Beauty & Style

its one of those phobia words...

2007-01-06 09:32:33 · 6 answers · asked by kadmarco 4 in Words & Wordplay

Not preg. but need opinions on these names.

Ethan Dane

Claire Noelle
Alaina Evelyn

Any variations or suggestions?

2007-01-06 09:32:28 · 20 answers · asked by MrsalmostMom 6 in Baby Names

I am a woman, and a strong one at that, and I never let anyone treat me as less of a human being because of my sex. I can do anything a man can do, and all you women should feel the same!

So I was wondering -- how do you feel about the woman being the one to propose?

2007-01-06 09:32:26 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

It is understood that the concept of Tzimtzum contains a built-in paradox, requiring that God be simultaneously transcendent and immanent.
*On the one hand, if the "Infinite" did not restrict itself, then nothing could exist - everything would be overwhelmed by God's totality. Thus existence requires God's transcendence, as above.
*On the other hand, God continuously maintains the existence of, and is thus not absent from, the created universe.

Sorry but this is a huge stretch of the imagination

2007-01-06 09:32:25 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Philosophy