BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
SYMPTOM: “My beer seems crystal-clear.”
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him
SYMPTOM: “I don't recognize anyone, I don't recognize the room I’m in.”
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: Go see if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM:” My feet are cold and wet.”
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: “My feet are warm and wet.”
FAULT: You’ve pissed your pants.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM: “That’s funny, the opposite wall is covered with fluorescent lights.”
FAULT: You have fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Stop staring at the ceiling, get off your @ss.
SYMPTOM: “Where’d these cigarette butts in my mouth come from?”
FAULT: This time you have fallen forward.
ACTION: Tell your friends you’ve lost a contact lens. Get up!
SYMPTOM: “This beer’s tasteless & the front of my shirt’s wet.”
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: “Whoa, cool, the floor’s moving!”
FAULT: No, you are not ‘moonwalking’ , you’re being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: “Now everyone’s looking up at me & smiling.”
FAULT: You are dancing on the table again.
ACTION: “Get off before you break into karaoke.
SYMPTOM: “Woa, I’ve never been singing this good in my life!”
FAULT: Ease off on the beer.
ACTION: Did I just not tell you to get off the table!!!
SYMPTOM: “I can't remember the words to this next song.”
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
2006-12-11
22:22:13
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10 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles