I've been questioning existence, and so much of it does not make sense to me with the presence of seeming paradoxes, absurdities, conformity, and the idea of meaninglessness. I really do feel empty a lot, withdrawn, and I try to get myself to feel better but eventually I retreat to this state. My grades are deteriorating, and I do not feel like doing much of anything. I feel against my school system, and I'm questioning whether what I am learning has any point. I feel like I want to talk to someone, but when I tell my parents or sister about my perceptions they get puzzled, they think I'm 'weird' or they just get frustrated. The only person I can think of talking to is my teacher, since the class is actually one I respect since its English and isn't so structured, but I just don't know how to approach him or ask him. I just feel too nervous to do something like that, and I'm scared he'll tell my parents or get others involved.
2006-12-09
18:40:49
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