All categories - 2 December 2006

My private part died today

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences .

The following day, Mr Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when h e met Nurse Tracy.

"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walkin g down the hall like that.. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, " I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

"Well, he replied, "Today's the viewing."

2006-12-02 20:03:53 · 12 answers · asked by texasblueslady 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2 ⤊

Do you think that God put man on Earth or that the world was populated by space travelers?

2006-12-02 20:03:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

How to deal with neighbour that cause trouble?

I'm living In a block of flat where there are four people there is a new neighbour that just moved in and she is talking behind my back and trying to get me kicked out you see i've being here for 12 years now and ontill she moved in everthing was fine what should i do

2006-12-02 20:03:35 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Family & Relationships

1 ⤊

Name that 80s song?

I was just listening to a song on the radio and it is really annoying me that I can not remember who sings it.

When I get this feeling, it gets in my system, I can't put the brakes on, I can't help myself. When I feel this way I want no-one else. I can't help myself.

2006-12-02 20:03:27 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

0 ⤊

Is it true that this year's National Procrastinators' Association convention is postponed?

2006-12-02 20:03:22 · 4 answers · asked by Tbone 3 in Other - Cultures & Groups

0 ⤊

How could i ever get back with me ex gf if i dumped her 2 years ago? is it possilbe?

I DATED THIS GIRL WHEN I WAS 17 AND WE REALLY LIKED EACH OTHER I KNOW SHE FELL DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH ME. WE DID EVERYTHING AND DATED FOR ABOUT 10 MONTHS EVEN THOUGH I WENT TROUGH A PRETTY BAD ACCIDENT SHE NEVER LEFT ME AND KEPT MY CONFIDENCE UP. BUT WE DID FIGHT ALOT AND I KINDA TOOK HER FOR GRANTED AND ONE DAY I BROKE UP WITH HER AND BROKE HER HEART AND DATED A GIRL 2 MONTHS LATER. I TOOK HER A WHILE TO GET OVER ME AND WE JUST STOPED TALKING. SO NOW THAT IM 19 I RECENTLY SAW HER AND SHE LOOKED JUST SO GORGEOUS AND I COULD SEE THAT SHE STILL LIKED ME IN HER EYES BUT SHE HAS BEEN DATING THIS GUY FOR LIKE A YEAR AND 1/2 AND EVEN LIVED WITH HIM FOR A LITTLE BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE CALLS ME ALMOST TWO YEARS LATER AND WANTS TO HANG OUT. SO WE DID AND I FELL BACK IN LOVE WITH HER BUT SHE KEEPS TELLING ME SHE LOVES HER BF AND LOVES ME AS A FRIEND AND RECENTLY I JUST COULDENT RESIST HER ANYMORE AND TOLD HER HOW I FELT AND I KINDA THINK THAT PUSHED HER AWAY AND HASENT CALLED.DoISTILLHAVEACHANCE?

2006-12-02 20:02:51 · 7 answers · asked by hustler 1 in Singles & Dating

4 ⤊

What is your one?

regret in this life

2006-12-02 20:02:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Philosophy

1 ⤊

please! serious help needed, i'm so depressed... why and how did this happen?

after a fight with a friend (nothing too serious) she decided not to be friends anymore. so... i was like, WTF!?! she explained that i don't give her enough space and that she's beginning to feel that i was starting to like her more than a friend (i was). i admitted this to her and tried to make compromises, but i did this the day after our fight. i told her that if she doesn't answer for a while i'll take it that she really wants to end our friendship. after about 5 days, she answered my question of "can we stay friends?" with "No, sorry it's just getting too awkward and i'm new to relationships."

i don't believe this is happening... we had so much fun together, we got along, we laughed, we had lots in common, we shared problems, we even looked good together. this fight was our first after 3 months knowing each other. did i pressure her in deciding too quickly?

how can i make this right again? i'm only 17 and i'm already stressing about this crap... i don't want to lose a friend.

2006-12-02 20:02:09 · 9 answers · asked by reign t 1 in Friends

3 ⤊

Ok, I've asked this question before, but Jewish people?

Why is a mezuzah put in aslanting position on doors/doorposts?

thanks

2006-12-02 20:02:02 · 7 answers · asked by -♦One-♦-Love♦- 7 in Religion & Spirituality

0 ⤊

are there any good baseball players from ecuador?

2006-12-02 20:01:58 · 5 answers · asked by BlahBlahBlah 3 in Baseball

0 ⤊

Can someone help me with this question on philosophy?

I want to start thinking about philosophy and thinking critically and I was wonderin is it possible to learn philosophy by just finding out the major questions in philosophy, and thinking and writing about them from my own perspective and having conversations with others about them and finding out their opinion of things, or would it be better to buy a book on philosophy. It seems like to me just finding out the questions of philosophy and thinking and talking about them with other people is alot better than buying a book because conversation is what philosophy seems to be all about, but I wanted some other opinions. Thanks in advance.

2006-12-02 20:01:57 · 10 answers · asked by The Chief 2 in Philosophy

12 ⤊

This guy is on a deserted island for three months. So seeing this his fairy apears and asks him for 2 wishes.?

After thinking for a while he says that he wants two crates of bear and the best woman in the world. The fairy agrees and after sometime he gets his 2 crates of bear and Mother Teresa.

2006-12-02 20:01:52 · 22 answers · asked by Mikhil M 2 in Jokes & Riddles

1 ⤊

Bat Boy Association?

I am a bat boy for a triple A baseball team. Anybody know if their are any associations you can join if your a bat boy?

2006-12-02 20:01:41 · 1 answers · asked by JoeSchmoe 2 in Baseball

0 ⤊

Anyone is Australia know how I can contact Bev brock?

Former partner of Peter Brock.

2006-12-02 20:01:38 · 4 answers · asked by cyanwitch 2 in Other - Auto Racing

0 ⤊

What is a good nick name for Marisa. and the name Sara Marie.?

me and my cousin are sick of having boring names. we would like something unique but not weird, and something having to do with our names. Sara Marie Williams and Marisa Nicole Velez. please help thank you.

2006-12-02 20:01:05 · 7 answers · asked by marisamassacre. 1 in Friends

0 ⤊

If human beings did not feel pain would we still need a God?

2006-12-02 20:01:04 · 27 answers · asked by Praxis 5 in Philosophy

1 ⤊

Should I quit my job?

Xmas is around the corner and yet the thought of giving my two weeks notice is lingering. I've been with my employer for 5years and recently upper management pretty much humiliated me. I feel like I've been violated when they sent out an email throughout the whole company. Just doesn't seem like the situation was handled professionally. Should I go?

2006-12-02 20:00:53 · 9 answers · asked by anonymous001 2 in Careers & Employment

0 ⤊

Did U enjoy Pirates of The caribbean?

I like It Mate;)....Lol...And This is The Day That u always remember as the day of Captain Jack Sparrow!!!

2006-12-02 20:00:45 · 10 answers · asked by powerfullstar 1 in Movies

21 ⤊

Will you please answer this?

Thank you.

2006-12-02 20:00:36 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

6 ⤊

I have been treated poorly at work due to my views?

I should be who I am.

2006-12-02 20:00:27 · 6 answers · asked by Happy 3 in Law & Ethics

0 ⤊

Do u like swiss made watches?

why or why not? and what brands of swiss made watches do u like?

2006-12-02 20:00:25 · 7 answers · asked by uatransporter 2 in Fashion & Accessories