All categories - 1 July 2006

A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner."This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.

"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.

"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.

"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

2006-07-01 16:54:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

what workouts do i need to do to get a six-pack, and what should i be eating?

2006-07-01 16:54:32 · 5 answers · asked by somepaliguy27 4 in Diet & Fitness

ahem... does anybody remember the incident where 100 english football fans got arrested in germany for causing havoc and insulting the germans?

2006-07-01 16:54:30 · 2 answers · asked by anak sendu 4 in FIFA World Cup (TM)

my 30gb iPod video froze,what can i do to unfreeze it?!!

2006-07-01 16:54:10 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music & Music Players

I want to know the name of that political song Vedder played by himself acoustic. He said it was done originally in the '60s or '70s and he did an update about Cheney, Bush, etc. and I loved it! Wanted to see if I could find the name to maybe find a bootleg or download.

2006-07-01 16:54:01 · 3 answers · asked by Shady P 2 in Music

2006-07-01 16:53:58 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Does anyone know????????

2006-07-01 16:53:54 · 76 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

i nkow its the name of some litle girl but i completely forgot her name

2006-07-01 16:53:50 · 7 answers · asked by j-man 2 in Other - Society & Culture

i already tried getting rid of spyware using yahoo anti spy and spybot search and destroy.

2006-07-01 16:53:49 · 7 answers · asked by wilhelm 2 in Internet

I was told I was in the English AP class, but now they've gone and told me I'm waitlisted. It's very important to me that I get in, and I won't take no for an answer. I'm just not sure how to do it. Plus, I need to know what to read for summer reading! Any advice?

2006-07-01 16:53:45 · 4 answers · asked by Marissa 2 in Other - Education

i was seeing this guy for a while and he lied and cheated on me. i confronted him about it and now he doesnt want to talk to him anymore. but i still want to talk to him but he wont pick up my phone calls or anything. i realized that i guess i dont care about the bad things he does and that is till love him. what should i do in this situationn?

2006-07-01 16:53:40 · 10 answers · asked by farry r 1 in Singles & Dating

another words, why do u like rock better?

2006-07-01 16:53:40 · 11 answers · asked by recycle NYC! 3 in Music

2006-07-01 16:53:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in FIFA World Cup (TM)

What Brand and Color?

2006-07-01 16:53:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Beauty & Style

we have been together for six years and we have a 16 month old baby

2006-07-01 16:53:22 · 7 answers · asked by JazzyJ72 2 in Marriage & Divorce

It seems like all the other countries in the world live for this event. I feel all alone in the states since not many people care about it.

2006-07-01 16:53:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in FIFA World Cup (TM)

2006-07-01 16:53:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2006-07-01 16:53:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in FIFA World Cup (TM)

2006-07-01 16:53:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Health

which muscles do i need to work on to be able to dunk ( i need about 8 more inches of vertical leap) and how do i work on them?

2006-07-01 16:53:09 · 7 answers · asked by somepaliguy27 4 in Basketball

Include all details!

2006-07-01 16:53:04 · 2 answers · asked by Jasmine 3 in Careers & Employment

what is the loud firework i can buy plese tellme the name

2006-07-01 16:52:48 · 5 answers · asked by ADOLFO R 1 in Other - News & Events

I am unable to download any updates that are very lengthy, such as windows media player. I can't download anything that is very large. It will run about 1/2 way thru and hang up. I have a fairly new install of windows xp pro, and I use grisoft,ad ware, and abrexo. Any ideas what may be causing this. I also get program not responding when trying to close out some windows that are open.
Help!

2006-07-01 16:52:43 · 1 answers · asked by Little Tree 2 in Programming & Design

2006-07-01 16:52:38 · 12 answers · asked by bigdaddyharper76 1 in Other - United States

Could someone tell me the teams that are left?

2006-07-01 16:52:36 · 9 answers · asked by cookiecrumbs 2 in FIFA World Cup (TM)

2006-07-01 16:52:31 · 22 answers · asked by dankmj420 1 in Other - Beauty & Style

there's a guy in school who i have been friends with for too long (he is kind of cute) and i notice he likes me what should i do? help me please!!!!

2006-07-01 16:52:21 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

2006-07-01 16:52:20 · 4 answers · asked by binny 2 in Tennis

Im sure we can make it happen. So when do you think it will?

2006-07-01 16:52:18 · 17 answers · asked by mnmnk00 2 in Astronomy & Space