I mean this question very seriously and after a lot of self-reflection. To begin, I am a 19 year old female college student. I prefer to be by myself, in fact, I get incredibly anxious and desperate if I'm around other people too long. I feel utterly alone and suffer from the paranoia that other people can automatically SEE that I'm weird and not normal. I fret over my appearance constantly and feel wherever I go like I am being perceived in an ugly manner (this isn't just self consciousness, this is feeling like I am "marked"). I don't understand "attractiveness" between men and women, I rarely see anyone I'm attracted to. Even if I am, I feel no desire or drive to get intimate with them. I am NEVER emotionally engaged during a conversation with people (I do have a wide range of feelings, however), it seems like I am interacting with them, but with this higher consciousness watching all of it. I am never just in the moment. I am always "watching" myself and the other person.
2007-03-03
02:39:37
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6 answers
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asked by
Blackadder
2