Social Science - 2 December 2007

My question is very serious and it goes like this. Am I a rapist?

Me and my girlfriend having been going out for 3 months now, she is 18 and I am 23. Let me tell you about our sex history in case it helps you better understand. She lost her virginity last year in July with a guy who dumped her after having sex with her and she felt like he used her, she also slept with some guy but they broke up because it did not work out. I only slept with one girl in my whole life and it is because I am a bookworm, a geek some might say so I am not good with women in general.

It all started when after going out to watch the movies at the mall, I suggested that she should come and visit me at my house because we live far away from each other, she said yes and we set a date. I had work to do that day so we cancelled and she was a bit upset and I at the back of my mind thought she was upset because she wanted to come over to my house so we came be intimate, but I wasn't sure at that time, we never talked about sex before then.

A few days later I sent her an sms (text message) telling her amongst other things that "I want you" and the reason I did that was because I thought she would think that I didn't want to meet her because I didn't want to be intimate with her and will therefore dump me. We talked over the phone and she asked me what did I mean by "I want you", I gave her a dumb explanation and didn't tell her the truth because I thought she didn't want me to be so forward and she was maybe playing some kind of a game.

She came to my house around noon, we watched a movie and we started kissing after the movie, I slowly took off her pants and asked her if she wants me and she said no, but she was smiling when she said it and I could tell that she was enjoying me touching her and kissing her, I kept on kissing her body and asking her again if she wants me and again she said no, she started to be a bit difficult and at the back off my mind I thought it was maybe a game as I don't have much experience with sex and women. But eventually I stopped, she put on back her pants and she could see I was a bit irritated because she was giving me mixed signals. We talked for a moment and we agreed that she will spend the night with me. I went to the local shop to buy her a toothbrush and some body cream because she didn't bring any.

I came back and we started talking, listening to music and talked some more and at around 7pm we started kissing again, I went on top of her and took off her clothes and then we had sex, there was no violence or anything, I didn't force her to do it but we did, after that she said I raped her, she didn't look serious when she said it and I took that as a joke, then we talked once more and she told me about her ex-boyfriend who after 2 years lost her virginity with him but he dumped her and she said he was after sex only, and then she said I mustn't dump her like her ex did, I reassured her that I love her and I will never do such a thing.

We watched some TV for a couple of hours and at around 11pm we decided to go to sleep as I was supposed to go to work the next day. We tried to sleep but couldn't, we talked a little bit and then started kissing again, again I went on top of her, we had sex, she went on top of me and we did it, switched off the lights and I remember at one point during the sex session I said to her she should guide my penis into her because it was dark and I couldn't see, she did and we continued having sex, she climbed on top of me and again guided my penis on to her as I couldn't see and we did it. At one point my condoms ran out, I asked her if it's ok if we do it with no condom, she asked me if I was sick and I said no and then we did it with no condom, later on she said that she wouldn't mind having a baby with me because soon I was going to ejaculate inside her but I said no, I'm not ready for a baby and that's when we stopped. We talked a little bit and cuddled and she jokingly said she will kill me if she falls pregnant. We went to sleep and we woke up the next day.

Then I went to work and she went back home. We talked over the phone and asked her when will she be coming back to my house and she said soon, she told me that I am a naughty boy and she didn’t expect me to be naughty and to have sex with her and she said something like guys like me are not supposed to initiate sex, but we were laughing about it. We again set a date and she came to my house. I told her I missed her and I wanted to make love to her again but she said no, I thought she was again playing a game like last time and I persisted, but I could tell that this time was serious because she wasn't smiling and didn't want to kiss me.

I asked her why she didn't want to make love to me and she said it's because I forced her into having sex with me and therefore I raped her, I was stunned and she also said that I only want to have sex with her and saw her as a "piece of meat", we talked and I pointed out that I thought she also wanted to have sex with me like I did, I told her that she wanted to come to my house because she wants me, I told her about the signs and signals from her but she was upset, I told her that I won't touch her until she makes the first move if she things that I was using her for sex, I even said that we don't have to have sex until we get married.

She spent the night again and nothing happened, I again went to work and she when back home, she is a student at the University and her school is closed so that's why she went home. We saw each other again at the mall and watched a movie like we always do, went to eat at a restaurant and started talking, I asked her if she regrets having sex with me and she said yes, she wasn't ready and said I raped her. I was starting to get scared, and now I am not sure anymore if I am indeed a rapist or not. I really love her and it hurts me that she is almost always upset when she is with me.

I think what happened is that she didn't come to my house to have sex with me like I thought she did, but eventually we had sex, even though at first she said no we had sex and there was no violence, I didn't force her or anything and she didn't scream and she also willingly came on top of me and guided my penis into her because it was dark. Then I think after a few days she realised that she made a mistake sleeping with me so soon and regrets sleeping with me, I do realise that I was wrong in thinking she was ready and I was wrong in persisting but I wasn’t forceful and we had consensual sex because at around 1 am I remember her taking a call while we were having sex from a friend of her asking if she is having a good time and my girl said yes but also said I am a naughty boy.

We are still together but what happened that night is making our relationship difficult especially for her because she keeps on saying I raped her and raped her emotionally. I don't know if she will open a case soon or 10 years from now, I would like to get this behind me so we can move on because now I keep on thinking of jail, I keep on thinking that one day if we break up she will maybe open a case against me, I don't think she will do it but it could happen, I really love her and I have sleepless night thinking about this and her. If you think I did rape her and I deserve to go to jail then maybe I think I should go to jail.

I would like to know if I am a rapist after what you have read and what I have told you?

Thank you!

2007-12-02 23:44:48 · 31 answers · asked by Sanza 1 in Gender Studies

2007-12-02 23:22:53 · 7 answers · asked by mariee64 3 in Other - Social Science

Why is it those people who know nothing about certain things and people have so much to say about them?
Is zat you?

2007-12-02 23:18:33 · 12 answers · asked by jupiteress 7 in Psychology

How can you make yourself look and act more approachable in a new envirnment?

2007-12-02 23:10:08 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

2007-12-02 22:53:41 · 4 answers · asked by RahulD 2 in Economics

Even when things are not O.K we want to feel happy !!

2007-12-02 22:08:13 · 2 answers · asked by hoski 1 in Psychology

2007-12-02 21:51:41 · 2 answers · asked by forceyouto 1 in Psychology

Do you ever find yourself in social situations where everyone seems to be ignoring you? How does it make you feel?

2007-12-02 21:40:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

but when I can't figure out why I'm sad it's frustrating because people are always asking me what;s wrong and I just don't have an answer. Does anybody know what I can do so that I won't feel that way anymore? Or at least tell me why that happens to me?

2007-12-02 21:24:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

I want to give everyone a great big hug! Every single person, I want them to know that they mean somthing no matter what tribulations you are facing you mean something. I just wish that instead of fighting with each other we could all come together as human beings honor, love, respect and cherish ourselves and others. Life is so short, instead of spending our time fightin why don't why try this!! Tomorrow from your own selflessness make someone smile for no other reason than making someone happy. Try it then get back to me! :D

2007-12-02 21:20:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Gender Studies

2007-12-02 21:02:04 · 6 answers · asked by sdn90036 6 in Economics

Presumably it will eventually replace the Dollar as the reserve currency for the North Atlantic's Alliance, maybe for the first time opposing other currencies in worldwide trade particularly of oil. Then for instance will the Amero continue to be redeemable only through NYMEX and IPE? Will dollars become worthless in due course? If so what happens to our holdings, i.e will the amount we owe America and the rest of the world counter balance the amount we are owed and vise versa so it's no problem?

2007-12-02 20:56:25 · 2 answers · asked by robert j 1 in Economics

boht being perverts.
both being unsafe around children.
i just saw in STAR that she has a "secret " sex room double locked with a bunch of gross stuff in it. she is a mother and this is totally inappropte. i rmember when she stuck up for michale jackson even though he is an accused child molestor with peter pan sydrome. I belive they both were molested and have a lot in common. further more i think it was brit's dad. kinda crazy when you think about her frist video oops i did it again and they said SHE caem up with that herself. she was only like 15, can we say SEXUALLY ABUSED? then this recent development with her body gurd saying she was inappropate around the children adn the court took away her custody? um ??

2007-12-02 20:42:20 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

2007-12-02 20:41:46 · 4 answers · asked by Dazed and Confused 2 in Psychology

this is a FACT: i seriously only attract the kind of guys that play vid games all day long and they look really smart, but actually aren't. I can get the guys i don't want, but i can never get the guy i actually am aiming for! gr! anyone know why? i think i'm an overall nice person, you know, the kind that's friendly to everyone. Some say i'm flirty, but if i am, i don't even notice it and i'm the same with every guy, unless i really like a guy, then maybe i get a little but more giddy..?

2007-12-02 20:32:35 · 12 answers · asked by ♥ ♥ ♥ 2 in Psychology

"Be nice to people on your way up, because you're bound to meet them on your way down". If we all were just kind to eachother instead of trying to prove who is the best, don't you think the world would be a much nicer and safer place to live in?

2007-12-02 19:56:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Gender Studies

My question is very serius and it goes like this. Am I a rapist?

Me and my girlfriend having been going out for 3 months now, she is 18 and I am 23. Let me tell you about our sex history in case it helps you better understand. She lost her virginity last year in July with a guy who dumped her after having sex with her and she felt like he used her, she also slept with some guy but they broke up because it did not work out. I only slept with one girl in my whole life and it is because I am a bookworm, a geek some might say so I am not good with women in general.

It all started when after going out to watch the movies at the mall, I suggested that she should come and visit me at my house because we live far away from each other, she said yes and we set a date. I had work to do that day so we cancelled and she was a bit upset and I at the back of my mind I thought she was upset because she wanted to come over to my house so we came be intimate, but I wasn't sure at that time, we never talked about sex before then.

A few days later I sent her an sms telling her amongst other things that "I want you" and the reason I did that was because I thought she would think that I didn't want to meet her because I didn't want to be intimate with her. We talked over the phone and she asked me what did I mean by "I want you", I gave her a dumb explanation and didn't tell her the truth because I thought she didn't want me to be so forward and she was maybe playing some kind of a game.

She came to my house around noon, we watched a movie and we started kissing after the movie, I slowly took off her pants and asked her if she wants me and she said no, but she was smiling when she said it and I could tell that she was enjoying me touching her and kissing her, I kept on asking her again if she wants me and again she said no, she started to be a bit difficult and at the back off my mind I thought it was maybe a game as I don't have much experience with sex and women. But eventually I stopped, she put on back her pants and she could see I was a bit irritated because she was giving me mixed signals. We talked for a moment and we agreed that she will spend the night with me. I went to the local shop to buy her a toothbrush and some body cream because she didn't bring any.

I came back and we started talking, listening to music and talked some more and at around 7pm we started kissing again, I went on top of her and took off her clothes and then we had sex, there was no violence or anything, I didn't force her to do it but we did, after that she said I raped her, she didn't look serius when she said it and I took that as a joke, then we talked once more and she told me about her ex-boyfriend who after 2 years lost her virginity with him but he dumped her and she said he was after sex only, and then she said I mustn't dump her like her ex did, I reassured her that I love her and I will never do such a thing.

We watched some TV for a couple of hours and at around 11pm we decided to go to sleep as I was supposed to go to work the next day. We tried to sleep but couldn't, we started kissing again, again I went on top of her had sex, she went on top of me and we did it, swiched off the lights and I remember at one point I said to her she should guide my penis into her because it was dark and I couldn't see, we did it, she climbed on top of me and again guided my penis on to her as I couldn't see and we did it. I could tell that she really enjoyed it and at one point my condoms ran out, I asked her if it's ok if we do it with no condoms, she asked me if i was sick and I said no and then we did it with no condom, later on she said that she wouldn't mind having a baby with me because soon I was gonna ejaculate inside her but I said no, I'm not ready for a baby and that's when we stoped. We went to sleep and we woke up the next day.

She was very happy and I could tell that she enjoyed spending the night with me, then I went to work and she went back home. We talked over the phone and asked her when will she be coming back to my house and she said soon, we again set a date and she came to my house. I told her I missed her and I wanted to make love to her again but she said no, I thought she was again playing a game like last time and I persisted, but I could tell that this time was was serius because she wasn't smiling and didn't want to kiss me.

I asked her why she didn't want to make love to me and she said it's because i forced her into having sex with her and therefore I raped her, I was stunned and she also said that I only want to have sex with her and saw her as a "piece of meat", we talked and I assured her that I thought she also wanted to have sex with me like I did, I told her about the signs and signals from her but she was upset, I told her that I won't touch her until she makes the first move if she things that I was using her for sex, I even said that we don't have to have sex until we get married.

She spend the night again and nothing happened, I again went to work and she wen back home, she is a student and her schools are closed so that's why she went to her home. We saw each other again at the mall and watched a movie like we always do, went to eat at a restaurant and started talking, I asked her if she regrets having sex with me and she said yes, she wasn't ready and said I raped her. I was starting to get scared, and now I am not sure anymore if I am indeed a rapist or not. I really love her and it hurts me that she is almost always upset when she is with me.

I think what happened is that she didn't come to my house to have sex with me like I thought she did, but eventually we had sex, there was no violence, I didn't force her or anything and she didn't scream and she also willingly came on top of me and guided my penis into her because it was dark. Then I think after a few days she realised that she made a mistake sleeping with me so soon and regrets sleeping with me, I do realise that I was wrong in thinking she was ready but we had consensual sex.

We are still together but what happened that night is making our relationship difficult especially for her because she keeps on saying I raped her and raped her emotionally. I don't know if she wil open a case soon or 10 years from now, I would like to get this behind me so we can move on because now I keep on thinking of jail, I keep on thinking that one day if we break up she will maybe open a case against me, I don't she she will do it but it could happen, I really love her and I have sleepless night thinking about this and her. If you think I did rape her and I deserve to go to jail then i think I should go to jail.

I would like to know if I am a rapist after what you have read and what I have told you?

Thank you!

2007-12-02 19:42:24 · 26 answers · asked by Sanza 1 in Psychology

I would like to be able to talk to more people.. .but because my social skills are lacking and my low confidence... its kinda hard... I feel that im a good person and generally i want to be kind and help people... but i don't have alot of interests and im not the most talkative person... How can i become more social able and assertive in talking with people... I never really talk to people because i feel like i don't want to bother them... or im not sure what to say,...ect...

2007-12-02 19:42:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

I know china makes all our stuff, like at least 85% of it...I'm sure if they hold out on making stuff for us fat lazy americans we'll only have services and no goods. China also has a larger population than us, so if they wanted to, they can overpower us with manpower. If I was in the China government, I'll make america our puppet cause we can mess up their economy with any decision that they make. China already messed up the usa economy by paying their workers nothing, while the american workers need more money cause things are more expensive there. Well, shouldn't american buy stuff in china then, no...they still buy stuff in america. I think americans need to take a plane to china and buy stuff there and come back to usa cause prices here are a joke. Close down the wal mart, close down the other large corporations that make all their stuff in china, hell with this economy, if it ain't made in america, don't friggin buy it.

2007-12-02 19:34:17 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Economics

Last night I smoked weed...
and i think it was laced with something...
I wanna know what it was-
I felt like i was in a video game on the way home,
I kept seeing the pringles man dancing
and i kept hearing sounds everywhere,
my heart was POUNDING,
I felt sick.
I threw up.
and I have no idea what was in there...
what do you think?

2007-12-02 18:42:57 · 4 answers · asked by Ashley. <3 2 in Psychology

Brazil's real GDP was 1,082 billion reals in 2005 and 1,120 billion reals in 2006. Brazil's population growth rate in 2006 was 1.2 percent. The approximate number of years it takes for real GDP per person in Brazil to double if the 2006 economic growth rate and poplulation growth rate are maintained is ___ years.

How would I solve this?

2007-12-02 18:41:14 · 1 answers · asked by dianawuvsyou 1 in Economics

Title

2007-12-02 18:00:47 · 1 answers · asked by BrianChoi 1 in Psychology

even ones that i've been at the throat with,they've liked me more for it and have been nicer to me as a result?

2007-12-02 17:39:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

Is this OK? What ever happened to manufacturing (yea, other than outsourcing)?

Should we all sell insurance to eachother?

2007-12-02 17:20:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Economics

I'm a freelancer who works at home. Some days I am completely devoid of focus and do nothing but procrastinate. What can I do to procrastinate on procrastinating? lol.

2007-12-02 17:20:20 · 2 answers · asked by skullandbones 2 in Psychology

Is this OK? What ever happened to manufacturing (yea, other than outsourcing)?

Should we all sell insurance to eachother?

2007-12-02 17:20:07 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Economics

Is it because they got hurt so much in the past? Sometimes I feel I am. Or I get offended easily. it's because I have a high expectation on myself that anything can break it-a insult or pointing out a flaw. Someone being bitchy to me or disrespecting(like a friend) makes me feel un-wanted etc.,

2007-12-02 17:16:30 · 3 answers · asked by Bassima(God Bless Palestine) 2 in Psychology

we have enough oil in the us to last 1000 years at current usage. what do you think

2007-12-02 16:56:32 · 5 answers · asked by West of Encino 7 in Economics

I want to be a therapist and my mom tells me that it is not going to be a good idea because people's problems might effect me in a way. So I want to listing to peoples problem to help them. So for any chance do you feel like telling someone you have no idea who it is your problem and to see if I can help. You can send me a messege throught yahoo messenger or email me.

2007-12-02 16:53:49 · 2 answers · asked by punkrock princess 2 in Psychology

Ok I am 21 and I WAS talking to this 35 yr old marrid man... yes I know it was wrong so you dont have to give me the lecture. Well we met at the gym cuz we both play racquetball. We talked on the phone and did some stuff for about 2 weeks until his wife started to find out and started following him everywhere he goes now. Well he told me that he couldn't talk to me anymore b/c he didn't want his wife to find out and everything and so we stopped talking altogether. Well today I went up to the gym to play racquetball and he was up there playing with his friends and I caught him looking at me quite a few times when he thought I was looking away or something. I dont understand what this means or why he would still even look at me???? Do you think he will try to pursue me again in the future?? I am just wondering, thats ALL... im not trying to pursue him. Guys... can you answer this please?

2007-12-02 16:49:41 · 36 answers · asked by sagittarius_girl806 1 in Other - Social Science