Marriage & Divorce - 22 December 2007

So my husband and I have been married for over 6 years. Through out that time he has been deployed to Iraq twice for 12-15 month tours and been stationed at a base on the other side of the US for over a year while I stayed in our home with our new baby. He recently got out of the military and came back home only to take a job that required 4 months of training in a town just an hour away, however, he was only able to come home on weekends during that period. So when it comes down to it out of that 6 years we have spent very little of it together... Because of his travels we never got to have a real wedding so when he got out of the army we had a small one with just friends and family. A few months later my best friend broke down and told me that the morning of our ceremony my husband made a pass at her and she had been struggling with it ever since... I was furious and heart broken! I went home and packed my suit case and when he came home I confronted him and he just sat down on the edge of the bed and started crying... Confused by his reaction I just stood there. Finally he admits that he hit on her but honestly didn't know why. Then he says that on top of that he has cheated on me with other people in Iraq, when he was stationed at the other base for that year, and even when he was doing his training just a few months earlier! I thought I was going to be sick... My heart sunk so deep into my chest I couldn't feel it any more.

Now to give you some insight into our relationship, when we started dating I was living with my Ex BF and trying to get out of a very destructive relationship... I was heavily involved in drugs and trying to get clean. When I met my husband at work we immediately hit it off. He begged me to move out of my Ex's house and in with him but I wanted to live on my own for a short time just to get my head clear and to make sure that my friends and family took him and our relationship seriously and didn't think it was just another one of my rebound relationships. By me not moving in with him right away and staying with my Ex in his house my H took it to mean I wasn't serious so he moved in with an old girlfriend and lied to me telling me he was living with family. I moved into my own place got a stable job got off drugs and was doing well. From time to time my Ex would show up at my door or would vandalize my car or call my home and my H thought that I was leading my Ex on... I knew my H was up to something because he would never take me to his home and I finally decided enough was enough and to get away from my Ex's harassment and I thought my H I moved back home with my family (17 hours away). A week later my H showed up on my doorstep and we have been together ever since. Eventually he admitted to living with the woman and I came to forgive him for it but I never trusted him after that... I knew that a relationship built on lies would be hard to build on but I loved him so much that I was willing to work through it. Any way a few short months later after finding out that he had large sums of student loans due he decided the only way to get out of debt was to join the army... He left for basic and then was deployed to Iraq only 2 weeks out of Basic... We got married and pregnant when he came home for a 2 week RnR.

Any way I guess I'm rambling... So now I find out that he's been cheating all this time. I have been completely devoted to him since day one of our relationship... Not even so much as a kiss with another person since he and I started dating... He says when he hit on my friend it wasn't because he wanted to sleep with her but honestly he feels like it was more of a cry for help... He wasn't attracted to her, and he knew she'd run and tell me and he just has no clue what he was thinking... He thinks he has a problem. He swears none of the women he cheated with meant any thing to him. The only details he has given me is that with each woman it was just sex. No secret drawn out affair, no promises of more, he never took any of them on dates or romanced them at all... They were all just female friends that something clicked with and that after each time he told them it was wrong and that they shouldn't have done that... He says that every time it happened he'd stop hanging out with the girl but then he'd make another female friend and they'd hang out and boom it would happen again... The most recent was the girl at the training facility... With her it happened 3 times. They were just sitting in their dorm rooms studying or talking and boom next thing he knew they were having sex. He stopped each time before they finished and told her it was wrong and left. He ended up leaving training early to get a different job because of it... He said the only thing each of these women had in common was that they were easy... The types of girls that pretty much throw themselves at people and have been around the block a few times... He didn't know if he made friends with them because of that or if he realized that after they became friends... So now no more training... No more years of deployments... According to him no more affairs... Is it that easy? Not to mention will I ever be able to respect or trust him? I know I'm an idiot for staying with him... I have been humiliated, and strung along all these years thinking he was just such a great guy only to find out I've married the Cliche' Slime ball... The strange part is I've never seen him cry. He really doesn't show emotion at all but for the past few weeks, since all this has come out, he has cried more than I have... It's not the type of emotion you put on just for show... We are going to do counseling but I just can't get over this nor has he asked me to... The more I yell and scream and call him names the more he begs me to stay and begs me to forgive him and give him another chance.

I mean our relationship has never been normal. We have never had a real life together. It has always been broken up with his travels... So am I an idiot to stay? He has a normal job now. We have a home together and our son is now 3 years old and adores his daddy... If he gets counseling, if we get counseling is there really any chance that he could stay faithful or do I need to grab my son and run before he gives me some kind of STD or some woman shows up on our doorstep pregnant? It's so easy to read someones hardships and say just leave but when there are years of history, and kids, and homes and finances it just makes things so much harder... On top of all that I do still love him. I just hate what he's done... I can't even look at a stupid yellow ribbon on a car without wanting to cry...

2007-12-22 01:12:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am 19 and in college and never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl or even touched a girl. I think I should just give up on girls and just plan my life around me and forget about a family and all that. No girl has ever been attracted to me and I highly doubt one ever will. I mean I am in really good shape ( probably some of the nicest abs). I am nice and respectful, I am never mean and always honest. I think I look alright not a model but alright, but I guess girls dont think I look good. I am pretty smart, except in math I hate math. So should I just forget about girls????????

2007-12-22 00:55:53 · 26 answers · asked by I like to drink 1

Mine went on a work do the other night. He came home the next day and built it all up as he tried to tell me, like 'I thought I'ld tell you first...' . I thought he'd snogged someone and, as I've said to ohim before (though he's never been) that I'm not bothered! How would other people feel- is it wrong or normal?

2007-12-22 00:27:03 · 40 answers · asked by emily_jane2379 5

They call each other bi(ches and are more critical/judgemental of each other. (And are proud of it)

When the guy cheats, the woman automatically blames the other woman. What if the women didnt know? If you didnt notice, guys like to lie to get sex.

When many women dress they don't even dress for men, they dress to compete with each other. You know who you are.

If women dont respect each other then how can we expect respect from men? If women don't respect each other can they be leaders of nations? Can't we women just stick together no matter what? We get enough lying, cheating, bashing from a male dominated society.

GIRL POWER!

2007-12-22 00:25:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you come home one day and see your wife in bed with an another man or maybe having 3 some will you get your shot gun and start shooting the man /s . I just seen that on TV ?

2007-12-22 00:22:47 · 15 answers · asked by Carlos C 1

We are getting a seperating agreement, she doesn't want to be on the loan or deed.

2007-12-22 00:20:19 · 6 answers · asked by Tony M 1