Is it terrible for your husband to go to a lap dancing club?

Question

Mine went on a work do the other night. He came home the next day and built it all up as he tried to tell me, like 'I thought I'ld tell you first...' . I thought he'd snogged someone and, as I've said to ohim before (though he's never been) that I'm not bothered! How would other people feel- is it wrong or normal?

I should add that he didn't get a lap dance at all- I would be upset had he done that I think. And I know and trust him, and it would never have been his idea, he would just have gone with the crowd for the sake of peace. It's interesting to read other's opinions, though!

Have to say I agree with the people who say if it's a regular occurence I'ld be worried, we've been together 4 years, and I know it's the first time he's been since he met me, and only the 2nd time ever, and that time was a work thing, as well.

Answer 1

It cracks me up that men go to places like this. Why do you want to pay a cover, overpay for drinks, and throw money at women in the ONE PLACE THAT YOU'LL NEVER GET SOME!

Terribly funny.

I'd be more ticked that he spent all that money on lap dances.

Maybe you should offer to dance for him if he just gives you the money instead next time. ;-)

Answer 2

You should go to a strip club on your own (and with an open mind) to see what's going on over there. I used to love going to strip clubs before I had kids. It's a fun atmosphere, even and sometimes especially for women ( we get special treatment). Only in the nastiest, ickiest, yuckiest clubs, do the dancers prostitute themselves. Most of them don't even let the guys touch them. The dancers will touch the guys, but if the guys touch back, they usually get kicked out. Even if you are totally against strip clubs and strippers and nakedness and all that stuff, trust me on this, your husband is not going to come home to you afterward and think you are less than one of them. Guys have this weird visual shallow thing that prevents them from giving a crap about strippers anything beyond checking out their bodies. They are faceless, brainless objects, and to the dancers, the guys are dollar bills. If there is any place that will never be a threat, it;s a strip club. Go one night with your girlfriends and see what I mean.

Answer 3

It's admirable that he told you ... he obviously sees that it could be something that offended or worried you, particularly if you heard it from someone else. Relax. It was a works do, he was probably under pressure to be 'one of the boys' and would have had endless teasing if he hadn't gone. He probably enjoyed it too. Men like looking at naked women - fact of life. But you're the one he came home to, you're the one he told as he knew you'd have mixed feelings. He sounds like a good guy, relax. No worse that looking at page 3 in the papers. It's all a kind of male bonding thing.

Answer 4

If what you wrote is all he has done it should be the least of your worries. You have obviously not learned the facts of life yet well here they are:

1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to
hear the truth. You can ask me anything. I don't lie unlike
the other answers you will get.

Answer 5

I wouldn't worry at all. Going to see lap dancers is like looking at porn. I don't class it as cheating at all.

My boyfriend has been to quite a few since we've been going out, for friends birthdays, stag dos etc.

He is aware that if he was more interested in lap dancers and porn then getting the real thing from me I'd be cross, but while he still wants me I don't mind.

Answer 6

I wouldn't have a problem if my husband went on occassion. If he started going all the time - well, then I might get jealous. With that said, it seems as though many women WOULD be bothered....but that may be because they are insecure or their husband is a jerk in general and a strip club is just a slap in the face.

Answer 7

Wow, completely shocked with the answers people have given you here, I personally wont go to a lapdancers club (unless a stag part - although I still would really be all that bothered) but if i was married or with someone then no way would i go to a lapdancers club.

dont get me wrong im sure you trust him very much and vice versa but i think if the shoe was on the other foot then he may feel differently about going to a place like that himself, so my suggestion is to get yourself and the girlies ready for a night out, and go to a male strip club, just for a laugh, tell him in advance to, i know this sounds like a classic taste of his own medicine but it may help him realise that its worrying you?

hope this helped have a lovely xmas take care xx

Renegade

Answer 8

If it was a work do and he got "dragged" (however willingly) there by his colleagues and this is not something they do regularly I wouldn't worry about it. He told you about it so that's a good thing. If it was me, this situation wouldn't bother me either.

On the other hand, if it was like he went there on his own initiative, regularly or tried to keep it a secret - then Yes, I would be bothered. Since this is not the case, I don't see a problem.

Merry Christmas!

Answer 9

Normal or not, if it bothers you, it is wrong. He should be more in focus with what keeps his relationship with you intact. I would much rather watch my wife get dressed in the morning, than have a lap dance. It would bother my wife if I were to go to a club, without her, and have a strange girl rub her scantily clad, or nude body on me. It isn't worth doing it if my wife is uncomfortable with it.

Answer 10

If he likes it and thinks it is a good way to spend an evening, then that's a bad thing. If he got dragged along by friends and though the whole thing was ridiculous, then that is fine.