Entertainment & Music - 11 October 2007

It can be from any part of the world. What do you think?

2007-10-11 22:25:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

What does that mean Exactly?
What have or would you DO?

2007-10-11 22:25:03 · 13 answers · asked by Marla ™ 5 in Polls & Surveys

Four U.S presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to "Emerald City" and come before the Great Wizard.
"What brings you here before the Great Wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly:" I've come for some courage". To which the Wizard replies:"No problem. Who's next?" Ronald Reagan steps forward:" I think I need a heart."
"Done", says the Wizard. "Who comes next before the Great and powerful Oz?"
Up stepped George W. Bush:"I'm told by the American people that I need a brain". "Sure, consider it done", replies the Wizard.
There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around without saying a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks:"What do you want?"
With a grin in his face, Bill Clinton responds;" Uhh...is Dorothy here?"

Please, star if you liked it! Thanks!

2007-10-11 22:25:00 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Polls and surveys. We would buy a dolls house and let the fairy live there

2007-10-11 22:23:20 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 22:21:51 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

-- Babe Ruth



An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

-- Ernest Hemingway



When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

-- Paul Hornung



24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.

-- H.L. Mencken



When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

-- George Bernard Shaw



Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

-- Benjamin Franklin



Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

-- Dave Barry



Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.

-- W.C. Fields



Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

-- Professor Irwin Corey




To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!

-- Leo Durocher



One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And, when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

"This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

"That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

2007-10-11 22:20:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

....a natural disaster, what would you be????

2007-10-11 22:18:33 · 34 answers · asked by Kicky 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 22:17:07 · 40 answers · asked by Sea Eagle 6 in Polls & Surveys

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.

Caller : I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator : I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

* * *

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator : Woven? Are you sure? Caller : Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.

* * *

Caller : I'd like the RSPCA please.

Operator : Where are you calling from?

Caller : The living room

* * *

Caller : The water board please.

Operator : Which department?

Caller : Tap water.

* * *

Operator : How are you spelling that?

Caller : With letters.

* * *

Caller : I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.

Operator : Do you have his name?

Caller : No, but he has a dog named Ben.

* * *

Caller : The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.

Operator : You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?

* * *

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator: "I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.

2007-10-11 22:09:53 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-11 22:08:25 · 21 answers · asked by      7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 22:06:58 · 13 answers · asked by Sea Eagle 6 in Polls & Surveys

Google image search him if you dont believe me...

2007-10-11 22:01:11 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

In Plymoth, Indiana a 4th Grade student found a post it note on the floor and stuck it to her forehead. The Teacher's Aide told her to take it off her forehead or she would staple it to her permanately. The girl refused and the Teacher's Aide did staple it to the student! She wasn't seriously hurt and has 2 small holes where the staple went in.

2007-10-11 22:00:51 · 22 answers · asked by kitkat1640 6 in Polls & Surveys

hovercars for me. come on, they look so cool!

2007-10-11 22:00:24 · 19 answers · asked by in any other world 1 in Polls & Surveys

and does anybody else think that they should just get another job if all the do is complain about the one they have people are relying on them for post

2007-10-11 21:59:14 · 24 answers · asked by lovestoned 3 in Polls & Surveys

one type of scent that reminds you of your childhood?

2007-10-11 21:58:27 · 23 answers · asked by Pavic 5 in Polls & Surveys

I JUST KNEW I WAS IN BIG TROUBLE AT WORK WHEN...

...the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.

...the Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area.

...my assistant began responding to my memos with, "Yeah, whatever."

...I got a "It's for you loser" wav receiving e-mail, & not a chime.

...my new Pentium was replaced with an 386sx-16 last weekend.

...the Human Resources Dept requested an update of my arrest record.

...the Boss asked if I still had a copy of my 5 year contract.

...I noticed co-workers measuring my office when I arrived at work.

...my parking spot was relocated next to the dumpster.

...my secretary sez things like "Get the phone, my nails aren't dry."

...three people began helping me write a "desk manual" for my job.

...the LAN suddenly began backing-up my computer every 10 minutes.

...a large paper recycling box was placed next to my file cabinets.

...the receptionist began saying "Who ???" to anyone calling on me.

2007-10-11 21:57:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-11 21:55:54 · 16 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 21:53:55 · 16 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 21:52:26 · 18 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Polls & Surveys

After their 11th child, a couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have anymore children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative, said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The man said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count...

"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

2007-10-11 21:52:15 · 8 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

No winner has a place in a world of equals?

2007-10-11 21:51:55 · 23 answers · asked by Pavic 5 in Polls & Surveys

Ah, Mae West - a wise woman? Just why DO us women love a bad man so much?

2007-10-11 21:50:46 · 7 answers · asked by Helen B 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 21:49:25 · 13 answers · asked by Sea Eagle 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 21:47:48 · 22 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 21:47:01 · 7 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-11 21:45:49 · 10 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Polls & Surveys

The ______ make the decision in parlament
While the ________ rules with prided
the oldest _______ is still in school
while 52 _______ made a pack

2007-10-11 21:45:37 · 1 answers · asked by jobees 6 in Jokes & Riddles

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.

As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."

She boldly walked over to the sleeper, raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said, "Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!"

She took off her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's endowment. A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature. He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "I don't know where y'been laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst prrrize!"

2007-10-11 21:44:44 · 10 answers · asked by ttt 3 in Jokes & Riddles

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail."

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these."

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?"

He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

2007-10-11 21:44:16 · 14 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles